boredomlandia

good bye

2011-05-02T19:11:00.000+08:00

i'm done with the past . its time I let go . I've had enough hurtful words . its time I move on . I'll make a new blog if I have to . I don't want to hold on to memories that are buried . I cannot salvage what is already gone . I can't move on if I still have this fvcking blog . i'll make a new one . start from scratch if I have to . I have someone else to be with now . I don't want to hold on . i'm moving on .

R.I.P
ThisBlog
FilledWithMemories
BurnIntoAshes.

self centered post .

2011-05-01T20:59:00.001+08:00

boredom got me posting . well my plans on combing my hair are fail . its tangled and i'm not in the mood to manage it :| it'll end up with a lot of hair fall if I continue this . anyway . Mathplus will start soon and i'm still wondering . how in the world will I wake up ~~and not stay up~~ at 4 in the morning . another problem is the dental thingy . I still got a tooth broken :| and I still haven't had braces . and I dont plans on having one :| My nails look horrible again . i've got them all too long and it all looks horrible again . and my stay at Mendez actually caused me to not use lotion . so my skin is all dry again . my lips are dry as well . at least they aren't chapped anymore :| haha wow am I depressed again ? maybe I kinda am . or just plain sleepy . argh this is getting more and more self centered

~~SomePeopleNeedThreeDozenRoses.AndThatsTheOnlyWayToProveYouLoveThem~~
IfIAin'tGotYou(:

*faints from being too self centered*

Marga Weird Facts : Ideals

2011-05-01T17:30:00.002+08:00

this blog post is requested by Elmo . I don't exactly know why i'm following him . but I think I suddenly got curious as well :)) I don't freakin know . ill test my sub-conscious again . it might have an answer again . my mind is so fascinating at times . even I am afraid of it :)) . so . bullet post ? I get the feeling this would be hard .

★ I like being with someone taller than me
. I like hugging other people . so maybe that's why my best friends are chubby @.@
★ I like people with long hair
. I go around touching other people's hair
★ maybe people who accept my weirdness
. its really odd to talk to normal human beings . I feel like an alien . maybe I am ?
★ I really appreciate being with people who are very reminding
. esp people who know I am highly forgetful .
★ people who are patient ?
. I tend to always say "wait for me" at an awful lot of times even if I don't want to :(
★ I love being with unpredictable people
. only I don't like the mood changing kind of unpredictable
★ I love being with listeners
. I tell an awful lot of stories . I even tend to repeat them
★ I also love story tellers .
. if a person is a speaker . he/she must also be a good listener (:
★ I don't say everyone has to but I like receiving gifts :))
. I try my awful best to give one in return (:
★ I don't like being with jealous people
. spread the love . don't be selfish . I don't get jealous myself (: only envy :))
★ I love being with music lovers (:
. its a language I use and understand :)
★ I'd love being with sporty
. but i'm still depressed about Kath not wanting me to get all tired and not wanting to teach me how to play volleyball :|
★ I don't care what a person looks like really (:
. will forever believe kindness and beauty are skin deep (:
★ *most important* I don't ever like the feeling of being lonely
. I don't want to be labeled impatient but . i've waited long enough . i've been waiting for nothing before and now I just don't want to keep

I just realized this is like a MWF :)) so i'm changing the title now :)) this does apply to everyone . I realized as well . this is all I can think of for now . ill post this on mwf next time . I feel sleepy . but I want to greet him when he wakes up .

IWantToBeTheReasonWhyAPersonSmiles(:

paranoia strikes

2011-05-01T16:50:00.000+08:00

I think i'm paranoid . well last night I was mostly talking to myself because I got tired working during the afternoon . we cleaned the whole place . the whole second floor to be exact . I was so busy I kept some people waiting . it was so evil of me . but I have to admit . I needed both my hands in working . almost everything I had to carry was a lot heavy . and so all my efforts of wanting to be fat got wasted . that sucks . I just ended up eating slowly . . and so last night I,in turn, waited for them . I talked to myself . well couz the net was so slow it couldn't even load et ~.~ I couldn't even remember what I did last night . all I remember is I kept feeling like everyone was angry at me couz I made them wait and I kept scratching myself again . can't remember if it was red again . man i'm so weird . ill auto reply et now . I need to calm down now . i'm done with editing my blogger into what it almost looked like before . its not the exact one but it'll pass . I still have my frog at my desktop just in case I want it back . ill post another blog .

StoppingThisDrama

anime ?

2011-04-30T02:45:00.001+08:00

I have to admit . I missed watching all these animes . haha . I even watched YuYu Hakusho . my other tabs now are about Saber . man . I miss wasting time on animes . well I guess I still have June to waste time on them . well anyways . I want to watch these animes now/again :) I guess this will be a temporary sensation again . I hope . I wouldn't want to waste time downloading all those things . well I only have now to waste my time on it . when the calendar moves to July . I need to let go of all these temporary vices . DDtank and animes I mean . I really want to use my time on something at least . but I guess i'm still wasting them . I don't want to be plastic but I want to watch them still . but I still will study French . its funny . I still kinda know their names . and I still find them cute and addictive . btw . the net here still sucks . even if I am the only person using the net . I still find their internet very annoying . I can't even buff one video . shalalalala clap clap clap this is annoying . waiting . buffing . waiting . buffing . FTW ! look what just happened

this is just so great . so great :| ill try waiting if I can until either the cord disconnects or I feel sleepy

freakin late post . :|

2011-04-30T02:06:00.002+08:00

ok so a lot has happened since Tuesday . which was crazily funny . well . I was in one of the usual boring days I had left on the longest summer I will ever have in my entire education life . everything else will be just a pit of suffering . Just like DLA ? haha maybe Mapúa was the DLU they were dreaming off . well buzz off . Malayan got it first . haha anyway . I got an unusual pm from my dearest sister . she was asking about a classmate of mine . I don't know what caught her attention but she asked a lot . which was so weird . the next person to pm me was my old classmate himself . well i'll just post their conversation . its so weird anyways

tsk tsk . her boyfriend got so mad . he got scared . this is what I call karma . well . I guess he deserved that . he isn't really careful with what he always says and he doesn't hell care that what he says can actually hurt or annoy another creature around him . that's all I can say about him right now . So anyway the next day I went home . here at Imus . it actually irritated my skin to actually be here . I took 2 baths that day and the next day . well now i'm a bit fine I guess . but yesterday was epic . I went to Intra to finally enroll . I was at hell . I don't know if God was really mad at me couz I seriously felt it . The scorching heat expressed that of the sun . it radiated everywhere I landed on at Manila . I still hate that place but I am still forced to even go there for college . for what ? the greener pasture of course . except you need to cross hell first before you live in that freakin pasture . btw we also brought stuff for baby sister's birthday party . which caused me more fatigue that even my mind wasn't capable of . am I insane ? maybe I am already . who ever said I wasn't ? :| so anyway . the day went on . more fatigue . more heat . insert more dramatic figures of speech . damn i'm running out of ideas . or i'm just getting more and more annoyed ? anyway rain poured a few moments ago . and it just made the humidity worse . anyway I just want to share I changed my background the same day when I enrolled . its nothing really . just simple copy paste ~.~ and via request i'm posting what my desktop officially looks like .

Just My Background

How I use my Desktop :)

ill end your misery (:

CouldYouBeTheDevil?CouldYouBeAnAngel?

PS : I like using a new emoticon now >> (: fb chat is so freaky

.plans.changes.

2011-04-26T03:48:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking of what to do :) well i've been nothing but bored lately . so now I want to start making plans for college :) and how I am going to spend money on college . I get the feeling I need to be more spendthrift by that time . well I just want to bullet what I am going to save money for . bullet post :)

★ Tickets for HP7 part 2 priority
★ Casio Silver Calculator . I get the feeling i would still encounter i :)
★ A new pair of Chucks :) i want a bright yellow/orange one like my neon pink . a pair :)
★ A plain green/orange Jansport :)
★ Some accessories for Macbook Goddess .
★ A gift or two for Kathleen ?

I know blogging this is seriously self centered . but I just need to keep my hand firm on what I am supposed to plan on and keep my word :) i've been nothing but bored these days . but I have been a bit successful on some of my plans . but most of the time DDtank comes in the way . but still I still did get to learn a bit of the French language . and I am now more comfortable using my left hand in writing but still have my right hand writing look good :) I still want to improve myself . I want to be a better person . or at least . I want to be worthy for anyone . I now believe change is very possible . :) who wouldn't ? I suddenly will become an engineer . who would've thought that was possible ? :) or the fact that I could just let go of my UST dreams and go to Mapúa ? well enough of UST . I feel completely changed :) I love what I am now :) but there are still empty holes on me . I still feel incomplete . as though someone is supposed to be there and cheer me or something . but I realize i've got nothing . no one to share this happiness with . i've got some friends yes . but they have their own problems to worry about . im just a waste of their space . anyways . gotta run . off to bed . this blog is too dramatic . damn it marga

ImTheNewDramaQueen

MyHolyWeek.o:)

2011-04-25T16:04:00.000+08:00

ok so ill bullet post what I have done this holy week :) I hope I remember everything . I hope you like it :)

Saturday night before

★ Total computer boredom and all that stuff .
★ Finally decided to help Mama Lorna with designing the karo
★ I helped Mama Lorna design and put up the karo with flowers .
★ Had my imagination working
★ Completely made the karo look fabulous :)
★ Gone to sleep with my back aching

Palm Sunday

★ Total computer boredom and all that stuff .
★ Readied for the prusisyon
★ Watched The Prince of Tennis before joining
★ Joined the prusisyon
★ Everyone got tired
★ Decided to eat on Tagaytay
★ Mcdo moments
★ Used the PC for a while

Monday Tuesday

★ Total computer boredom and all that stuff .
★ Thought tita wasn't gonna come here
★ Stared into nothingness most of time
★ My period came in

Wednesday

★ ate Julianne came home
★ Mama Lorna and Tito Bhoy's Wedding Anniversary :)
★ another prosisyon
★ Dysmenorrhea got me
★ I tried to join
★ But the pain ate me whole
★ Ended up with my titas at Lola's house
★ Used Maurice's DSLR
★ Camwhores come in
★ I became the Photographer
★ They liked how I can produce good Jump Shots
★ Got worried they weren't gonna come fetch me
★ Dysmenorrhea consumed me again
★ They came at 1O.3Opm
★ Got home
★ Ate a lot
★ Got to sleep

Maundy Thursday

★ Tita finally came with Bon and sister :)
★ They brought the Laptop with them
★ Total laptop boredom and all that stuff .
★ Second thoughts about the Bisita Iglesa couz everyone was too tired from yesterday's prusisyon
★ Except me @.@ but I was tired as well . due to my monthly dysme @.@
★ Laptop blues
★ Dysmenorrhea blues
★ Snap decisioned the Bisita Iglesia
★ Gone to different churches
• St Agustine
• Alfonso
• Silang
• Sungay
• Lourdes
★ Oh! the car got jammed before going to Sungay . had to fix it :)
★ Was on the verge of tears a lot . but kept myself still
★ Was so damn windy and cold @.@
★ Got home tired
★ DDtank before going to sleep

Good Friday

★ Total laptop boredom and all that stuff .
★ The final prosisyon
★ The Pamigay controversy :))
★ The swimming rumor next day
★ The Flat tire :) ~~strike 1 of the controversy~~
★ Laptop blues
★ DDtank blues
★ Got to sleep :)

Black Saturday

★ Surprisingly no Total laptop boredom and all that stuff . that day XD
★ couz the rumor came true :))
★ everyone in the gang joined :)
★ Jhonna Vs Justin the bag that got left
★ 4 car convoy was formed
★ Got to Batangas
★ Tito got annoyed the convoy got broken
★ enjoyed the rest of the day swimming :)
★ The jammed car :) ~~strike 2 of the controversy~~
★ Got to sleep on the way home
★ Slept hearing Pussy Cat Dolls
★ Woke up hearing Pussy Cat Dolls
★ Decided to use the laptop
★ Ended up talking with Steve
★ Got to sleep earlier :)
★ like 2am :))

Easter Sunday

★ Total laptop boredom and all that stuff
★ Mae came over couz her mom wasn't home
★ Got to eat at a birthday party of Lolo and Lola at Burgos :)
★ Teased her with her Antioch stuff from her retreat I guess .
★ Her brother Kuya Ivan came to the rescue :)
★ Mais-Melon Con Heilo :)
★ Laptop blues
★ DDtank blues
★ Blogged yesterday
★ Got to sleep
★ Had a dream

well it is very weird yet it is also a fun week :) oh btw . this week . i've been sleeping at 3 a lot . if you guys were to ask :) I S
sincerely like my holy week :) I wish by next year . I have someone to be with during the prusisyons @.@ I want to share with someone how fun it is here at Mendez during the Holy Week :) I wish everyone had a good Holy Week as well as I did :)

So.HowDidYouSpendYourHolyWeek? :)

unexpected dream

2011-04-25T12:53:00.000+08:00

i'm so sorry for not blogging for days . man . except last night . the blog pushed through . anyways . the reason I haven't been blogging is that . we always go out a lot . or DDtank has all of my attention due to the slow internet . so anyways I wish I don't end up deleting this one as well or i'll just re type this kind of start all over again :| so ill try to narrate the things I have done during the holy week :) oh wait . I want to blog about my dream last night first . well anyway I seriously didn't expect to have a dream last night . it is somewhat associated with my blog last night @.@ damn me . so anyways my dream was kinda messy . I was with my cousins . we were out on another adventure . on my way home my other home I decided to walk . all of a sudden other people were walking as well . most of the time when I walk no one else walks at Meadowville . all of a sudden I recognized him walking somewhere in front of me . so i skipped past him . it was weird . considering I wanted to run . I just stupidly skipped around Meadowville . so he had the chance of following me and actually walked past me again . after he did I got so damn tired I fell on the floor . he helped me get up but I brushed him off . even if I was so damn tired I tried to run . but he was by my side effortlessly running with me . I got so mad I banged the gate on his face . i'm evil right ? but he opened it yet again effortless . I hate it when he does that . all my effort gone to waste couz of his enormous strength . I am such a weakling :| I only like that part of him when he does that for me not against me . i hate myself for being such a weakling . I dont have anyone to help me anymore :| I feel so alone now . damn . ill post about the holy week in a new post . can't bear this drama .

asdfghjkl;

i ♥ TheNotebookForever :)

2011-04-25T02:45:00.002+08:00

My Dearest Allie,

I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us.

I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love.

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you.

Noah.

well I miss my 'The Notebook' book . well everyone knows that that is my favorite book right ? . haha . as if :)) the fact is that its my favorite book . the false is the part where every one knows about it xD well not everyone bothers to care anyways . if I was in someone else's shoes I wouldn't care what Marga's favorite book is anyway . like my new favorite site :) haha . well insecurities kicks in once more . just like yesterday . i was talking to a potential suitor . i even discriminated myself in front of him . unluckily it didn't work ~.~ I can be a lot unlucky at times . especially with the self actualization . self esteem and impressions on me . I act dumb a lot . I know as well . but I kinda realized that . to know a person . if the freely accept you for who you are and accept you and your worth . well this is too dramatic I say . anyways i'm here to blog about the saying

"Right minus Wrong"
I just felt like its time i finally blog about it . its really weird and I think the person i told this to doesn't care anymore . but I just suddenly desired to want to talk about it . well I can't say it to some certain people so I just decided to put it here . where no one bothers to unravel the mystery behind it . couz basically its just some worthless piece of shit . just a riddle I created to ruin someone's mind . I am such an evil being right ? I hate myself I know . so anyways . this saying means on my personal view on such saying that he should never let negative stuff take over the positive ones . it just seems unfair sometimes I guess ? couz I get the feeling I personally did that on him . and I seriously am a sucker . I hate myself . I wish he loves who ever she is with all his being . I don't deserve to be happy . I hope he's living the life he's meant to have . damn . I promised to God I wont cry anymore :| I wont stop him from being happy . I should stop now . i'm not crying :) but this is seriously wrecking my mask again . i'm not supposed to let my reflections show xD

Allie Hamilton-Caulhon :)

uniform L:)

2011-04-18T21:05:00.002+08:00

ok so i want to confess . i miss using my DLA uniform T.T well all of a sudden I was staring at my default pic and I have to admit . my DLA uniform was the best :) even the small hole of my skirt due to the soldering pen at my Sophomore year wasn't a hindrance to make me miss it . or the holes on my PE pants due to the accident on my Junior year . memories . me and my uniform went through it all :) all of those dramas on the battered hallways of DLA . the long walks outside of the campus . difference and all . still hasn't sinked into me I won't have a freakin uniform for Mapúa still weird . not sure if its cool ~.~ but I get a lot of Mapúa shirts by then :)) I would look like a fan rather than a student xDD anyway . i really miss DLA already and all of the randomness that happened in that weird campus of ours . but hey . I look cute on my last pictures as a DLAnian right ? :)

personal views on Social Networks

2011-04-18T11:09:00.000+08:00

this is getting more classy as it gets . i have to admit . its really boring to use plurk now . well the thing I don't like about it now is that . i've got no one to talk to but myself and my micro blog . well there is no thrill in that anymore . just keep raising karma . and nothing more . its not like it used to when I still have . yeah . well anyways . I think this will be my most used site now . I don't think facebook is very addictive . its not worthy really . I just use it for communication's sake . and the pictures which I need to use . well I am not popular . so I don't use twitter . and i'm not a feeler to even care . and tumblr ? well I still don't like the way people behave there too much . they are always too full of themselves . well I think this place is lonely as well but still . I don't have to care too much as hell wants me to right ? blogspot is somewhat a property O.o I don't know but its a perception of mine . but i've got no where to go . and i'd rather be stuck here writing about something than talking too much about nothing somewhere else . at least I know i'm still sane blogging here . Statuses and Micro-blogs are kinda pointless now to me . i've got nothing against it but I just don't like it anymore . you might think i'm prejudiced using those stuff sometimes but what i'm saying is I don't like using it anymore . m'kay?

NotAllAntiSocialNetworks

new template boredom

2011-04-17T15:13:00.002+08:00

after flooding myself with css . i am now finally done with the background and all that stuff I did . now . i'm just hungry again . and bored . and blah blah . I just wish the navbar was a frog just so i couldn't stop staring at it more . wishes . all that stuff . boredom . fulfillment.

Edit:

Oh btw . I have now successfully transformed my navbar

I would like to thank my computer knowledge and now I have successfully edited this thing . *bow* :)

ImOfficciallyDoneWithMyNewTemplate

random blah blah . rants .

2011-04-16T14:02:00.000+08:00

ok so i haven't blog for 2 days in a row already i'm really really sorry :( my apologies :) so anyway i've got loads to tell :) anyway i want to share first that the other day was my first successful car wash :) well basically we don't have a car at home and they have 2 cars here . so I just want to say that it was my first time I guess ? to car wash :)) it was kinda fun actually . except the part where red evil ants pestered my toes and ankle . its still sore up to now . and i'm still scratching it . tsk oh yeah before that we actually washed the old plastic flowers to make them look new again . so anyway i hated the ant bites because of the fact that i look like a kid crying for help when i felt the sensation of ants in between my toe nails . haha seeing myself whine again looked a lot weird . but i had fun . so anyway the next thing that happened was i got invited to join Bebe Jhonna on her "Gala" with her friends . i liked a lot of it but I can't spill the details . o:) sorii :) so yesterday we then had visitors all from ate Julieanne's coworkers . well they all look gorgeous I guess ? I seriously don't know . so the morning we like made food for them . visitors right ? they complimented it was superb :) It made tita smile so thats good news . so anyways at the afternoon . at first I didn't have any problems with them being here and all but they kinda annoyed me I have to admit . when I was about to start my sleeping time upstairs . I realized they were in the room I was supposed to sleep so I just didn't bother and used the other room . my mom's room . so anyway every time i was supposed to close my eyes and sleep they suddenly become noisy and laugh all over the place . so I didn't get to sleep T.T just when I was about to give up on sleeping and decided on just taking a shower . I then realized they kept coming in and out of the comfort room . Just when I also decided to just was up at the other comfort room downstairs . I suddenly saw almost all of them come down stairs on my way up to get my towel . and that got me scratching my head again "-.- I mean literally . anyways sometime after I got out of the shower .they decided that we go shopping for food . well I was kinda wanting to control the amount of food to get actually . couz last time we only spent like 2OOphp on food . just me and kuya Justin . so anyways when we were at Robinson's at Tagaytay . the thing was . there were a lot of hands getting food on the cart so . I guess we didn't get to control the number of food coming into the cart . so guess what ? almost all of the junk food cost like 2OOOphp . wow right ? thats like so weird actually . I have to admit I cant digest all of that . i'm not that addicted to junk . It just so happens I was in a weird psychologic state of wanting to eat each moment but not making myself full . weird sensations ~.~ so anyways here I am now . with almost 12 hours of sleep yet im still sleepy . i have to admit

IAmASluggishSlothHereInMendez ~.~

Ryoma Echizen

2011-04-13T15:04:00.000+08:00

ok so i slept in like the morning and i woke up in the afternoon . i suck i know i hate it ~.~ anyways i did that because of a show . wow how unusual right ? me not watching tv a lot . sleeping that too late just to watch an episode . just that episode . how weird of me right ? so anyway im like here doing more weird stuff . wow being here in mendez got me doing a lot of crazy stuff ~.~ anyway im MargaretteNicoleNocedaManicdao right ? nothing can stop me >:) i want to be a lot more happier now :) so i will let it happen :)

GoingOffWithASmile :)

French :)

2011-04-12T14:50:00.000+08:00

i'm here for more :)) anyways i'm really thrilled to be learning the french language :D i've already learned a lot and i'm thrilling myself for more :D its like its so weird couz their language is kinda pronounced in a fast manner and sometimes you have to like stop and chop their sentences into words couz some of the words are almost sound into one . like . vivez-vous . and all those blah blah sounds . it may sound crazy coming from me but i really like this :) ill just learn some more . ill end this blog with

J'aime mon blog ♥
A Biento :)

monster :))

2011-04-12T01:45:00.001+08:00

haha ok so i know its late and all that stuff but i'm perfectly awake and still . i slept a while ago and woke up at 9 . which makes perfect sense i'm not sleepy . ok ? so don't fuzz . so anyway i wanna share . i've been eating a lot . i mean a LOT . man what is so wrong with me ? i think i'm really getting ready for college and all that stuff . i really don't know why but i had sensations of having to eat here or something . its weird i know . but what can i do right ? after a month ill lose almost all of it like i almost didn't intake any of it . but for now ill be a food monster here at Mendez :)) . and they are letting me be as well . oh dear . my metabolism . it really sucks i really wish it'd be better ~.~ oh btw i just changed my pages . so now its MWF . wtf do you think ? monday-wednesday-friday ? FTW ? thats MargaWeirdFacts :) haha anyway ill just edit it from time to time and tell on my posts if i've edited them or not . well anyway thats all thank you :) *bow*

CookieMonstarr :)

another asdreamfghjkl;

2011-04-11T12:58:00.002+08:00

heya this is the dream blog . well anyway i have to confess the dream i had last week and the other night . i cant take its still here inside me when its screaming to be shared . well last week was the first dream i had that was seriously against Vince (which means its screaming that i should move on and all that stuff and all that hurt and all those tears and the list goes on) and anyways the dream is about me in college . first day . i enter the room with a guy ready to kiss the top of my hand . shocking really . the dream told me his name was Elmo . and he will be my love affair in college because he is also a Mapúan . it was so cute actually and he kept courting me a whole term . and when he was about to quit . the dream told me that i was the one who courted him on a teacher day out or something and like asked "Hey Elmo" and showed him a placard writing "Will I be your cookie monster ? ♥" look at how cheesie i am @.@ haha im such a weirdo . anyway i waked up with an image on my head me resting my head on his shoulder on one of the benches in Mapúa . oh btw Elmo was faceless so i have no idea if he is real or not . and he's skinny and a lot taller than me . still not sure if he's real or not . so anyways . ill proceed to my other dream . the other night i dreamed i was with another guy . he was faceless too . but he was chubby . and from the way he was standing i was sure he was familiar . i knew him but i knew a lot of chubby guys and stand that way @.@ it annoys to figure out who it was @.@ so anyway the dream goes like this . i had a suitor . the guy . we were at sm . i don't know which one but i was with him . Michaella and tita? i guess ? we were at a supermarket . when Michaella left i don't know but we were kinda pda O.o i don't know i had my arms around him a lot and he like carried me on the super market and all that stuff . the dream was really all just me doing pda with that suitor . and i nothing much about it really . all just me doing almost all kinds of pda @.@ haha anyway ill end this blog . ive got nothing more to say but

MyNoseIsStillAnnoyinglyItchyEvenAfterBlogging2Posts :|

PS: does anyone understand the title ? O.o

mendez ♥

2011-04-11T11:42:00.001+08:00

Heya ! sorii for not blogging the past few days . well basically our net got disconnected the other day . and oh yeah i man currently in Mendez, Cavite . well its nothing to brag about right ? but ill be staying here because i don't want to fret staying at home doing nothing but play online games all day and its kinda a preventive measure and its time also i start learning the podcasts i downloaded . well i really wanted to start yesterday but i was kinda tired yesterday so ill start today :) anyway i kinda missed 2 days of blogging so ill blog almost everything . i hope . so lets start with Camille's graduation bash . well basically at first i thought it was only her . but when i saw the sign . it wasn't only her who graduated so she wasn't the only one who was celebrating . so i was with some of the eleven people and psalm :) well we played upstairs with Camille's wii :D it was really fun and all that stuff :D i really enjoyed my time with them :D i also brought congee home :D but when i got home we lost the fcking net . that was so annoying i was out for more or less 2 hours and that happens ? that really got me hell annoyed with our net . anyways well i got here in Mendez yesterday . and it was fun actually . i got to know what DDTank is yesterday . a cute game like Boomz . well anyway i will make another blog about dreams . just so i have them separated . :)anyway . im planning on making a tab on marga weird facts . just so i dont keep on editing the posts i make with marga weird facts . thats all thank you :) *bow* ill end this blog with

MyNoseIsRedFromScratchingItTooMuchAgain xD

asdreamfghjkl;

2011-04-08T19:48:00.002+08:00

heya . i forgot to share about my dream last night in the previous post . well anyway my dream last night goes like this . i was online again . again my view was only on the screen . well i was playing Dragonica again . which is kinda weird couz i decided last night as well to stop playing it now that i dont want to waste my summer doing nothing . so i was online . and a miracle that my couple was online as well . well my couple is a stranger really . i just let the status be a couple just to have one of those cute medals they give you with +stats and all that stuff so anyway . my couple went away for a while . and i like didnt open the couple tab to make sure he's online or something . but next thing i new my character was next to another couple . wearing stats with "Just Married" . well their names were . Light and dark . i woke up actually because of that . it was 8:3Oam actually . its been along time since i woke up that early because of a dream . the last time that happened was the 6:45am tears all over me incident . well thats just what i want to blog . i dont want to spoil my new reader/follower . haha . funny but let your presence be known ~.~

Dreamer

ChangeIsEssentialWhenTheDevilIsPresent . i think

2011-04-08T17:02:00.001+08:00

well its my new perspective of things . and i seriously want to change :) well im tired of using the same excuses really now . this happening is triggered due to the report card that i have received and the dreams i hold on to for Mapúa :) . anyway i started with it already . of course when we start change we always start with ourselves right ? so i started with my closet . i removed all of the clothes which i do not wear anymore . and wait i have to say my fingers are shaking right now . i seriously wont use the mouse too much right now couz it hurts to look at it . anyway . the next thing i did was do errands for tita . which is normal but sometime after it i kinda wanted to help tita do laundry . and that stuff so i just basically did . wait . is it me or am i totally over using words like anyway . seriously and all that stuff ? ~.~ whatever Marga ~.~ anyway . i really have to do this >.< pray for me :) so anyway i wanna share . when money gets to us . im getting a wardrobe makeover . one of my drawers is out of place because tita is actually starting to prepare for me . haha . i want to choose clothes now . :) weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :) and i seriously need to buy cheap ones so i get a lot of them :) i need a year full of clothes . well almost everyone knows that id rather be a kids barbie doll than dress myself up couz the first thing i see on top of my the pile on my drawer will be the dress i will be wearing . the selecting is not really random . except the times whne its not a pile . couz there are times when i literally get clothes like im choosing a winner at a raffle draw . its horrendous to even think about it ~.~ but its real ~.~ anyway ive got another thing to share but this time about my two sisters . its really epic to even just look at them . they fight like its always the end of the world . haha its so funny to look at but it really bothers me what they would look like in the future ~.~" but i do hope they dont end up like this someday -_-"

haha im already scared of what they'll look like @.@ i really hope not couz from the sounds of what they were producing a while ago . i had my imagination working well even up to now with the conversation i am having with Kathleen Anne Merced Sanchez Taping . tsk tsk and by the way i just got my HawHaw Addiction back on my spinal . i will spend more i guess ~.~ well i loved it before and i will love it again . woah i wanna use this line on him ~.~ im crazy i know :)) thats who i am :)

MargaretteNicoleSantiagoNocedaVeluzManicdao

PS : ahm those are the last names of all my grand parents :))

2 years ago .

2011-04-06T16:23:00.001+08:00

April 6 2OO9
6:11Pm
I still remember everything clearly . I was holding my phone . waiting for my turn on the pc . waiting for my sister to tell me its my turn . I had a conversation with him . I was so glad it was him I was talking with . Until I realized he asked me the question . He gave butterflies to my tummy . the eternal happiness I thought would forever soar within me . Without question of how many times he would ask me . I just said yes . not wanting to care . but to be his .

That scenario was 2 years ago . the scenario I hold on to up to now . the scenario I would never forget . how his words always make me catch my breath . The scenario that I would want to come back to me . as tears flood me now as I type these words . I write this . I still love him . like what I promised . I dont use my tumblr too much to not bring too much pain because almost everything I read there actually causes me more pain than hapiness . I dont know myself . I remember . I used to do everything with you . I tell you even the smallest things that hurt in this condemned body of mine . and you would be my hero and heal it . I see myself as more stupid as I go . I tell you what goes through my head . You even know when I have dreams or not . But I remember more his dreams than mine . The dreams that used to haunt him and make him wake up in the middle of the night . It causes me pain till now . I want to be with him now more than ever . but who the hell i am to wish for that ?

Marga weird facts : Behavior

2011-04-05T17:22:00.001+08:00

boredom has once again brought me to you my dearest blog . i just wanted to say that i now have successfully downloaded all the podcasts i need in learning the French language . well . i just need my headache off me for a days or a few . i seriously hate learning stuff when i am hindered by some medial reason . blah blah and all that stuff . so anyway im here to blog about some weird facts again . well being alone and my head on fire for days kinda brought me into observing my self again . tsk . dont ask much about it . it was some comfort room blues . :))

★ i dont like opening too much lights
. it may be because i like it dark or im just really not in the mood to open them . *if cr* it may be because i dont want to feel the coolness of the exhaust fan
★ *important* i pick whatever clothe is on top of my wardrobe
. i seldom pick my clothes . only on rare/special occasions
★ i still nailbite
. when bored . in deep thought . waiting and all that stuff
★ *very important* i dont lock the door .
. so you basically have to know first if a creature is inside the room . may it be me or some horrible creature .
★ *important* i dont like brushing my hair
. you may discriminate me now but there is a real reason . i like someone else brushing my hair for me . not that he's still to brush my hair or something .
★ i like brushing my fingers on other girl's hair .
. i seriously dont know why @.@
★ i almost always have a headache .
. you seriously need to bear with the drama coming out of my brain when that happens
★ im not afraid of grasshoppers but they still freak me out .
. its disgusting to look at them .
★ cockroaches are no problem .
. but when they fly . thats a different story man ~.~
★ i actually like taking care of kids :)
. it may depend as well of course if the kid is a bully . then im a bully as well
★ most of the time when i get sick it has something to do with my tummy
. like vomiting . lbm .
★ *super duper most important* my eating habits
. if you want to clog down food on my throat if you have to . that'll be difficult . very difficult~~ulcer~~

this post may be edited for future references :)

--Nicole :)

what to do ? ~.~

2011-04-05T14:15:00.001+08:00

ok so im freakin tired . of this life i mean . i dont know what to do much really . im just always bored and wanting to be with other people . but i am seriously tied to this house . can someone please visit me ? @.@ or better yet . please give me permission in being with vinni T.T i miss her so much . or permission to be with wrenzo . anne . vida . psalm . camille . or anyone else in this world . or maybe even a stranger . i am just so freakin dying here . i am so in to using metaphors right now . couz this plain sucks . i need money . i need to get out of here . i wish scimathela is still available for graduates . just for the sake of leaving this freakin house . this is freakin boring . all i need are some shackles and some wroth iron bars . and i can do more acting on this house . damn me to hell . i am so full of weirdness today and into drama . rawr . i'd better go and just learn a language . i seriously still havent started couz the net was slow a few days ago and now that its back to normal im gonna finish downloading all of the podcasts i need to learn the language . maybe i should do more researching if you know what i mean ? my life sucks in doing nothing .

well my life just plain sucks anyways . what to do . what to do . learn a new language and stop all this drama . damn it marga get a pen and paper and start doodling

PS : i really love the new mcdonalds commercial . cuuuuutiiie :D

I'mANewDreamer .

2011-04-03T13:38:00.003+08:00

ok so . i noticed . i get dreams almost everyday now . well that sucks . it makes me cry . either before or after sleeping . and in some days i even cry on both . anyways . i want to share this dream again . well . i had a dream i was online on plurk . and i noticed ludee wasnt using anymore . she really doesnt go online anymore . anyway what happened in my dream is that i had an accident . before i had the accident my karma was 95.blahblah and when i woke up my karma was 57.85 i was like . FTW whywas my karma like that ? O.o WTH and i realized . i wasnt wearing any bandages . i was a bit chubbier than i was a bit and no scars on me . i was petrified at first . but then ludee came next to me and told me . she used a freakin time gadget to get us back in time . she told me she only planned on using it on herself but she realized she wasnt the only one in pain of some kind . well her problem is like the one on the confessions of a shopaholic . the green scarf of some sort was there as well . she told me i needed to save myself as well since she already brought me there . well the story became very predictable then . i reconciled with vince blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah . you know the drill . well after that . what i saw was . i was in front of the pc again . and i fell asleep with my karma gone +2.OO . that was weird . and the position i was when i fell asleep in front of the monitor was the same as when i woke up . on the street . and everyone was around me . i still got the accident . but this time he was next to me . rather than me on the room by myself . what a weird dream

Marga weird facts : Face

2011-04-02T01:24:00.000+08:00

just out of boredom i want another bullet blog about me :)) im sorry but im beginning to really like bullet posting :))

★ I seriously dont know how to smile
. well up to now tita still teases me and tells me i over use a fake smile and look ugly
★ when i over smile . i cant see anything
. is that a part of being chinita ? @.@
★ when i dont smile my nose looks like its artificial
. like you only put my nose on purpose or something @.@
★ my teeth look horrible
. i seriously need to use braces . even if im afraid .
★ my face is square ?
. im seriously not sure what my face's shape really is
★ i only have 1 dimple
. on my right cheek . its awfully weird .
★ i dont have pimples
. only on the rare occasions before i have periods :)
★ there is like a cut or something on my eyebrows
. i dont know what that is but i noticed Vida dearest also has one :)
★ i ALMOST have a cleft chin
. just a small cut or something

was it me or was i really vain on this post ? :)) must be because im really awfully tired and all that stuff . im going to bed i guess . even if im really not too sleepy . yet im dead tired . it was our graduation . haha whatever bllsht

MapuaGirlAfterAMonth :)

April 1

2011-04-01T13:36:00.000+08:00

haha i have to admit . today is freakishly funny . Today is April 1 which means . bullet :))

★ Its a new month
★ Start of Summer
★ Its April fools day
★ Its Fred & George Weasley's birthday :)
★ Its our Graduation Day :(
★ Its a Friday

you know what that means ! :))

haha im just bored ~.~ gonna get ready for graduation not for rancid friday ~.~

somethings that will never change :]

2011-03-31T17:26:00.001+08:00

ok so i think this would be my last blog post for march . haha . i want to blog about the title :) may it be old or new ;) bullet mode :)

★ my blogging addiction ♥♥
★ my color orange addiction
★ my all of a sudden science talk
★ my being a social introvert
★ my being a cry baby
★ my being reckless
★ my being random
★ my being open for something interesting
★ ~~my being lazy~~ *under construction for essential change*
★ my being a weirdo
★ *the return* of my lip biting habit
★ my being an accident prone within 2 mile radius
★ *new* my love for tangled :) ♥
★ my love for domo :) ♥
★ my love for frogs :)
★ my love for Spongebob :)
★ my love for iTouch loves
★ my love for MacBook Goddess
★ my love for chopsticks
★ my love for music ♥
★ my love for silence
★ my love for nature
★ my love for stars
★ my loathe for phones
★ my loathe for flying cockroaches x.x
★ my loathe for noise :|
★ my loathe for answering back
★ my love for Kathleen :)
★ my love for Arjone
★ my love for Wrenzo
★ my love for Anne
★ my love for Karyl
★ my love for Psalm
★ my love for Camille
★ my love for Pascal :)
★ my love for Harley
★ my love for him

lalala :)
♥MargaretteNicoleNocedaManicdao

smiles :)

2011-03-31T14:16:00.001+08:00

ok yesterday was almost happy . i helped Winnie in coming to school yesterday . she isnt comfortable in commuting so i escorted her . well i feel more comfortable if i am to be the one to assist her . well she has been one of the most precious persons i have known in my life . i dont know why . i love taking care of rubiks :) and we got on a food trip . just me . Winnie . Alyssa Lim . and Pajee . just out of boredom . next thing we knew almost everyone was eating with us . anyway when we got back to the campus . the next thing that happened is that kathleen gave me a gift . an official doodle notebook :) but i feel like it would be the most precious notebook i will on on college . i will surely treasure that object :) and another gift was from geline bayongan . i really didnt expect it but it was an offical Lamarck t shirt :) that made me awe . Lamarck is really precious to me as well . but i still get the feeling im not very welcome anymore . or maybe i just need enlightenment ? i dont know . i still feel like they still dont like me . :| anyways thats ok . next thing i knew we had a thumbs up on our general practice :) our teachers finally liked our performance . i really dont know but i still think our batch is just really lazy when it comes to practices . but we still do our best when it comes to our finals or something . its always kinda like that . i am very proud of this batch . but still feel like i dont deserve to walk with them . they are so mighty to my eyes . like nothing can ever compare to how much they really are one of the best . i never even knew i was a part of it . i am such a mute ! dang it . i dont want to think about it anymore . after the practice i waited for karyl and arjone . well i didnt know what arjone was doing so i just waited for her . i wanted to spend another day with karyl . and i feel more comfortable crying on her shoulder . i really dont know why but out of all the people i told the story . she was the only person who really got me on my knees again and crying . well arjone made me laugh rather than making cry . anyways . i had a new friend en route . his name is Marc . i really dont know much about him . except the part where he is head over hells over Jamie . but thats not a hindrance for him to be my new friend right ? and lucky him . i was in the mood to treat everyone for ice cream . well half of it anyways . and im glad i actually got to do that . i dont want to save money for this summer anyways . its going to be a dull summer :)) thats fine . i dont want to spend money on ran online anymore . that just sucks . i want to spend money on ? . . . . nothing :) maybe on going out or something . maybe ? anyway i want to ask God's guidance for tomorrow . tomorrow is everyone's big day . and btw . today is the last day of my drama month . haha . memoirs of all the drama before college :) i just want to be happy now . i just want to be the marga who he once loved . and the marga who is worthy to be loved . i still dont know what to wish for but happiness :)

MargaretteNicoleManicdao
Graduate.Batch'11
NP: Take my hand --TheCab

dull :|

2011-03-29T17:37:00.000+08:00

i hope those would be the last tears i shed for something i dont own . well . i have to admit . i am not his . nor is he mine . God i feel like crying again :( well my eyes hurt . and i didnt even got to say what i wanted to say . who am i anyways ? dont dare to stupid . he is happy and satisfied with his life . dont be a hindrance stupid . he wont read your blog posts anymore . he doesnt care . he was only there a while ago to make you feel worse . he was only there to act like you do . damn it . i dont like him acting . dont i get an award ? damn it . he is always hell better than i do . why does it always have to be him ? and why the hell in the world did i allow him to see my eyes red ? damn you marga .

StillWantsToGoToHell
ALotMoreStupidLoser

sadness . and all that shit

2011-03-28T23:01:00.002+08:00

wtf this is my 5th post for march 28 . damn this day . i cried like 2 times today . and another 3 more with almost doing so . kuya Paulo made me cry again . couz i still feel like a hindrance to him . i dont want to waste his time on my drama . he has his own life . he doesnt need to make me happy couz i feel like i really am not . i am not the sister who helps him . it the other way around . im being too dependent too . i am really sorry . and i dont want to be a hindrance to you too kuya :( . but i still believe in what i told Portia today .

Some people only ask you: "What's the problem?" not because they care . but only to be informed of what is happening

and

Some times you have online friends to depend on . but not those people you see daily face to faceyou see them personally . but they have another online friend .

sadness still surrounds me .

PleaseBuryMe6FeetUnderGround.

damn me

2011-03-28T21:49:00.003+08:00

ok so i feel bad . this is fcking annoying like go to hell marga . we thought your video would work . now what ? wtf ? we have to do another couz your fcking video wont work . they might not say it . but i know it runs on their minds right now . marga you have failed pascal once again :| you are fcking stupid marga . so is your video :| damn you marga to hell . agree ?

my mood changed from good to fcking wrong . this day sucks anyway . except marchele's birthday . damn you to hell marga

GoingToHell
StupidLoser

Things to learn . list :)

2011-03-28T20:36:00.000+08:00

ok so i was thinking . of those things i want to do . regarding my mom i mean . i want to be multilingual . like her of course . here's a list of what i want to learn and what i know:

★ English (improve)
★ Japanese (learn more)
★ French
★ Tagalog (iMPROVE)
★ Italian
★ ~~Alien~~ *joke*

well its what i hope and what i really aim for . i really hope i would really do what i want to . and not just hope and dream about it . well i am doing my best to download lessons . and im guessing ill just go do self studies again . well i did learn a bit of the Japanese language when i was a sophomore right ? it was just a supplement for boredom before . but now i want to focus on learning it :) so i think *and hope* i can do it :) i know i can :) anyway i dont know if my mom ever wanted to learn one . but i seriously want to learn how to use instruments . blah blah here i go again . here's another list :)) :

★ Organ . here i go again
★ Guitar . i wish Ichan would help me :(
★ Drums . wtf ? :))

haha here i go again with these instruments :)) well its really not that bad right ? at least i learned a bit on all of these @.@ tsk . im freakin serious @.@ . i even enjoyed the drums a bit . tsk tsk . anyway i was just sharing . ill be back later i guess ? this net seriously needs a boost :| BL :)

BlogLater :)

not a nightmare but a bad dream

2011-03-28T07:07:00.000+08:00

morning blog . ok so i know this is early and all that stuff . well i just got off from the bathroom and all . but i dreamt about him last night . ok so you're probably wondering . who in the world am i talking about couz i know i've been blogging about different persons . but its vince . i became a cry baby again . i just woke up and tears flooded my eyes . i dreamt about something not real . but one of the dreams i seriously wanted to fulfill with him . i forgot the name of the game but we got harnesses on our bodies and we were jumping all over the place . i seriously have to go now . i just want to lessen the redness of my eyes today .

my lovely online siblings :)

2011-03-28T00:08:00.000+08:00

ok so i want to share . i am doing everything i can to download all podcasts . there is on which i subscribe . well out of 4 . i only got 1 complete ._. well the other 2 have like 3OO+ ._. and this one im downloading currently is full of videos . at least . there are only a few . but still . anyways . i want to share . just randomly a while ago during a conversation with portia . i suddenly want to fulfill everything my mom wanted to do but wasnt able to because of my birth . i want her to see herself in me or something . i want her to be happy and proud of me . i love her that much . anyway . i also want to share that i now have my 2 favorite online siblings :) twinnie and onii chan :) i really love them both :) and ive been spending awful lot of time with them and i dont freakin care :) i really enjoy their company :) btw we were just bored today and we just went playing around and gone hunting online :)) just a game . with hunting and all that stuff . i really would like to treasure them both . even if we dont know one another . i actually feel a lot more at ease when talking to them rather than to a person i meet almost everyday . im just sharing again . good night :)

status :))

2011-03-27T16:20:00.000+08:00

ok so this is my supposedly status a while ago on facebook but . it has character limits and i freakin exceeded :))

`for graduation
Madison Nicole Manicdao:
i am but a small voice . i am but a small dream . to smile upon the sun . be free to dance and sing . be free to sing my song to everyone
Michaella Nicole Manicdao:
im that star up in the sky . im that mountain peak up high . hey, i made it . im the worlds greatest

`so nainggit ako . ako din :))
Margarette Nicole Manicdao:
we are the world . we are the children . we are the ones who make a brighter day . so let's start giving . there's a choice we're making . we're saving our own lives it's true we'll make a better day . just you and me
--takte pambata :))

well that was really funny :)) i have to blog off first . tsk tsk

annoyance and everything else

2011-03-27T14:51:00.000+08:00

ok i am so sorii blog . ive been really bored lately and ive been entertaining myself . for ahm . i dont know . since wednesday ? i patched the new dragonica . well anyways ive got lots to blog i guess ? first . we had our baccalaureate mass last friday . and its awfully weird . i was almost late because of tangled AGAiN :)) is it my fault its my new favorite ? :) its my new background really :) a picture i saw from tumblr and i edited it :) and i now see them on the side of my screen everyday :) its so cute :) the things i see on my screen now are rapunzel . eugene . domo and distressed . some gadgets and some lyrics i like :) and icons ~.~ anyway im really weirded out . couz sometime after it we needed to have another practice for graduation . i feel like a baby ~.~ and its awfully annoying . well what annoyed me the most was the planned boycott . it was so selfish of them really ! its not like they were the only one who was shouted at . we all got shouted at . why the hell in the world are they selfish ? well we are then the ones who got MORE shouted at . and i really didnt want to talk to them . and even one of them had the nerve to like the status ? wtf ? that was so irritating ! anyways . at least we werent the only one who got shouted at . i feel bad for them . but i agree with sir . sir kinda didnt like what the mocc did . im not sure if they are prepared or anything like that but . i dont know . i dont have the right . well when bentz and his company did theirs they said they were one of the best . im not saying THE best . but ONE of the best . :) just clearing :) the boycott annoyed me a lot . they deserve their consequence . i think they deserve more . except momii tellie i think she has a reason . i dont know the rest . grrrr need to stop that . anyway yesterday was annoying as well . well yesterday was the CAT graduation . what annoyed me is i woke up at 7.54 and what sucks is that the call time was 8.OO . i got there 8.3O something ? tita wasnt there . she didnt even bother sending me there . it was just annoying to even join the party after it . so i went home ahead . to my more annoyance tita didnt even realize i told her the night before about my graduation . wth ? she totally forgot about it when i woke up she like was on bed playing the ipad . so i just took a bath . i dont want to bother telling her anymore . after i took a bath and wore my cat uniform . i just saw her downstairs . about to drink a cup of coffee . so i didnt bother telling her . and then what ? i get a sermon i didnt tell her ? wtf ? i keep telling her . for the nth time ! so i seriously didnt help them in cleaning up after meal . so 2 days full of bvness . tsk tsk . anyway . at least i got dragonica sometime after those and its really entertaining me :) btw ran annoyed me last night . it was so log . anyway at least we got an e room . but i didnt get to enjoy ~.~ anyway im really sorii blog . those were just dull days . and really annoying as well . missed you :D

MargaLovesThisBlog :)

weird dream

2011-03-22T12:06:00.000+08:00

i had a dream last night :"> it was so cute :D i was dreaming of a cute elmo and cookie monster stuffed toy . so after a while i got out to a mall . i was with a blank faced man . i dont know but our fingers were intertwined and that felt so good . but on his other side was a person . im not sure if male or female but their arms were locked together . we were walking blah blah until we saw the cute stuffed toys again . and he saw my longing eyes . and he almost dragged me just to buy me the toy as a gift . i was about to get domo for money and so but domo was left at a car we rode on or something so i also dragged myself out to a car park or something . unluckily i woke up . but my mind drifted away into sleep again . the next thing i knew i was dreaming 2 years ahead . i was dreaming of a debut or something . the debut i always wanted when i was a kid . sorry to say but i never dreamed my debut like those princesses and all that stuff . i always dreamed id be in a place like Palawan :D and that was so cute :D im not sure but i like saw a list or something . every Pascal was there :D ♥ i kinda saw in my dream as well someone else was going to have a debut . was it jerome ? but i dreamed vinni and yana were there :D i miss them a lot . its also in my dream it was a surprise birthday party . it was some kind of date at first and ended up as a debut . well whatever . it was just a dream . well at least i get to blog about a dream or something now :D anyway i blog about almost everything under the sun now :)) :D

Pascal is my Ohana :D ♥

2011-03-21T22:10:00.000+08:00

ok so i really need to fulfill my promise . whatever i write . should be removed out of my system . i really need to get it off me . just to make me better or so . i want to be the marga i need to be . i dont need to bear problems i dont own . i need to blog happy posts to cover the dark ones . i need to show the world i am not sad . and i have got a happy blog :D couz i need to be now . i just realized that with pascal . well . i cried a lot yesterday . i cried more a few hours ago . that was like a lot . i actually didnt know we were going to have a crying session after the party . i didnt even have a handkerchief to cry on O.o so i wasnt really prepared . well . i really didnt prepare much on this event actually . i just wore my pascal shirt . the shorts tita hates seeing me wear . and my favorite pair or striking shoes . i was really doing my best in not showing the fact i was crying almost all night . and almost didnt eat as well . i was wearing a mask . like my childhood favorite song . reflection by Christina Aguilera :)) but at least . these tears were very different . they were tears of appreciation and love . i really feel like . they filled holes on my heart . they are like a family to me . i really love them . i dont know if they'd be able to read this or anything . but i remembered what lilo said to stitch .

Ohana means family . family means no one gets left behind

i totally didnt share that in class . couz that was just my mind working :)) well i hope everything we said would be really treasured . i really love the fact that we really enjoyed the company of one another . and i wouldnt want to miss a chance to see their dreams come true . and make everything they want be fulfilled . just like everything else they said . im ending this blog with a smile :D

My ohana :)

who am i ?

2011-03-20T18:23:00.001+08:00

i have all the reasons in the world to be freakin depressed . here's a list

★ i am a freakin love child
★ i am a mistake
★ i look different from my sisters
★ i look horrible
★ i am ugly
★ i am a waste
★ i dont have parents coming over for my graduation
★ i am not an awardee
★ i am stupid
★ i dont even deserve to graduate
★ i dont deserve to be in DLA
★ i am a freakin cry baby
★ i was lied on .
★ i dont deserve requests
★ i dont have a best friend
★ nobody wants me
★ nobody needs me
★ nobody loves me

who am i anyways ? to ask for goodness when i am nothing but evil . i was born as a mistake . i dont want to be a hindrance anymore . maybe after graduation ? just to give them at least a certificate before i go .

edit :

now will you look at that . someone just agreed . tita did . lets add more bullets

★ "tanga"
★ "inutil"
★ more stupid
★ more swear words
★ insert swear word here
★ and more here
★ and so on

its like the taste of bitterness on your face on the evening before going to sleep . i

im fucking fed up

2011-03-20T16:48:00.001+08:00

one more post . i need to get tears off my eyes before tita goes home . fucking facebook . i deactivated my account . cant they just say yes and get a move on it ? masaya na sya hindi nya pa ako mapagbigyan ? i wont use plurk and facebook anymore . i just realized . i have been looking stupid for a half a year already based on what he said . pretending to use infatuation over everything . thanks

:| again

2011-03-20T12:46:00.000+08:00

To you again .
Will you PLEASE stop making me wish for nothing . couz you are an impossible dream . so just shut the hell up and stop making me wish for you more . WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME ? you are freakin happy now . you said so yourself . I'LL MOVE ON NOW . so what are you doing earlier pm-ing me ? like wth ? if you arent a bitch . stop acting like one . im fed up being honest . why in the world of all the people did it have to be i get to be honest with ? why in the world cant i do it to other persons ? why in the world ? why do i have to constantly shed a tear for you . block me please . i just . cant bear it . be happy . live without me . i dont need to see your happy posts . i dont need to be your friend . you have other deserving friends . im not gonna be an enemy or something . i just need to be a stranger .

more drama

2011-03-20T01:41:00.001+08:00

ok this day sucks . i mean . totally hopeless . well lets go bullet i guess ? ~.~

★ i woke up home alone with bloo
★ my sister with her boyfriend all day .
★ and im like all alone here
★ no breakfast . no lunch before going to school
★ cat grad practice
★ no gala
★ home alone again .
★ stupid wifi needed fixing
★ plurk is freakin defective
★ kathleen is so not helping me move on
★ depressed like hell
★ frekin noodles again
★ over cooked rice .
★ my sister got home with Marco again
★ no cw . on a freakin saturday
★ bored like hell .
★ a bitch talked to me again .
★ why wont the bitch be contented with his girl friend ?
★ a friend not helping

well the bitch made my day worse and i want to curse him for that . well at least i watched tangled an hour ago and that made me a bit better than before . but one last share before i go to sleep . well before Marco left . we like shocked one another and that got me breathless . well we did scare one another back there . and we looked weird . anyway im off . ill let my downloads go overnight while i go to sleep now . oh just now . i decided to learn a new language . its not new . but i just want to learn it now . its french well

À bientôt adieu! :D

drama

2011-03-19T11:30:00.062+08:00

here i am . still on my cat tshirt on . hungry as the acids on my stomach consume me . and no one else on this house except me . haha this is boring . and freakin scary . i am alone once again with bloo . i named her . but not her grandmother . anyway . i am now eating noodles . i dont bother telling if im afk . rawr anyway . today is boring unlike the 3 days before it . well except the part winnie and i went to SLEX :)) it was cute to see her happy again :D well she is still kind of down because of not making it to the honor roll or something . i really dont like seeing her upset and all that stuff . anyways the practice for cat is seriously boring because of the singing . but i guess its ok . id rather practice now than not know what to do next week . id look stupid . anyway i still dont feel like graduating . its still sad my parents aren't here to celebrate with me . and that sucks :| anyway speaking of graduation . i just wanna share about graduation gifts and all that stuff . i wanna share what my dad suggests for a graduation gift which i would . i guess receive on july .

my dad's suggestion:

★ a new macbook goddess .
★ an ipad 2

but what i want *or* need:

★ a battery for macbook goddess rather than a new one
★ not sure about the ipad 2
★ beats by dre
★ new clothes for mapua couz it doesnt have a freakin uniform :|
★ domo bag
★ a proper dentist appointment
★ make myself not miss kathleen
★ achieve self actualization

most probably out of all the things i want . only domo could be possible :)) if you were to notice the 1, 2 and 3 are actually expensive . the clothes and the dentist appointment are very weird gifts to ask for . and the last 2 cannot be gifts and i just realized they were wishes with no hopes of being achieved . tsk

ok so i just noticed . March totally has the most drama this year i guess . haha this will be my 19th post for March and almost every post have different subjects . haha this is so weird . anyway . more drama to come . not the scaring Ichan Orcino type again :)) haha epic :D well . it may be because i am about to graduate or so ? that'll be sad . but whenever something ends . another starts :D ♥

Pascal :D ♥

2011-03-18T23:21:00.000+08:00

happy 1OOth post :D yehey :D anyway . i can say again another one of the best days of senior year :D i didnt know my 1OOth post would be for Pascal . well my 99th was for Curie . which i didnt expect as well . well at first i was thinking it was another one of those usual dramas and all that bitchy stuff . but i really enjoyed this day . hearing all their insights and laughing when knowing one of your classmates are being tricked and all that stuff . well i really wasnt expecting i would join them and i just told myself going with them would be better than being home alone . so i decided to join them and i feel like its good i followed this feeling than worrying over somethings i really dont need to worry about . and i dont have regrets . i even found out a lot of things i only once sensed . at least we got to know and shared again each other's insights . a small open forum on little things and sharing of some petty stories and some serious ones as well . well i cant blog about them couz Judh was with us as well and i dont want to let his story out . i am still not over his stories . . . . anyway . before coming to Ichan's crib . some other Pascal's who werent coming . joined us in eating rice congee (lugaw) well at first i really didnt want to eat as well but i joined in just for a change and for some weird fact . i enjoyed the meal :D . its my first time to eat rice congee and i successfully liked it :D well maybe i was just too afraid of how it would taste like couz before people used to serve it in a very unsanitary manner . so i once decided to not eat such thing . and so my first time to eat such thing was really all from pascal's influence :)) anyway when we finished eating . people who were really coming to Ichan's crib came to where we were and some of them ate as well . but some of them had to go to Ichan's house ahead . well i didnt realize . while they were eating . we were actually waiting for Judh . when he came he was welcome as usual to come with us :D anyway we split up again during the jeepney drive and all that stuff . when we got to Mary Homes we walked our way to Ichan's house . en route a shadow emerged . O.o :)) joke it was Polk and i gotta tell you . they looked like they saw a ghost . especially ate yanna :)) she almost jumped :)) you would think it was cute if she wasnt hiding behind tim's back :)) well it scared Roscoe more couz it was him Polk sticked to . it was almost coincidental that Polk stuck on Roscoe on the side where his pocket's phone is . so when he left they decided to make a joke that Polk snatched Roscoe's phone . so they decided chela borrowed his phone on the jeep . and i be the one to hide his phone :)) it was really funny really . Pascal can actually have its own drama club :)) but i gotta share . Pajee, Aerold and Ichan actually got tricked :)) its funny also how they looked like :)) epic :)) btw i really love Ichan's dog :D ♥ so cute :D and it likes me too :)) and it hates Aerold btw :)) considering Aerold lives near that place :)) . well speaking of Ichan's dog another trick came up when Ichan's dog scratched Chela's foot . Ichan's face looked more afraid :)) but he knew better than be tricked . but Chela's foot did hurt because of the scratch . after that we like ate Pajee's blow out :)) and Judh shared :D lalala :)) some left early . and after that we shared some more and it feels like we need to share more stories but again time is still on the run .

well for 3 days . ive been out of this house a lot and i felt like . i really wasnt out of place . i just needed to open my self a bit more couz they already accept me as i am and i love them and im gonna miss them . i love batch '11 :D ♥ best batch evah :D ♥

`Marga :D

Curie :3 ♥

2011-03-17T22:33:00.001+08:00

Curie made my day :D that was so fun :D i really missed them and all that stuff . well i was late and that was funny . i forgot i already asked for tita's permission . so i went home to ask for her permission again and when i got here she like said . "Bakit ka pa umuwi ?! Sana dumeretxo ka na lang dun" :)) that was so epic and funny :)) so anyway . when i got there . a lot of people was there :D that was so cute :D and i thought i wouldnt be welcome or something . i thought i was just gonna stay in a corner again . and do nothing . well . i kinda felt more comfortable with them . well maybe i was really just a bit afraid . too self conscious ? we played like kids again :D . and i felt a lot different . like we were the same kids on 4O1 room . like all of the stress of being a senior didnt matter :D . they are still the best persons to take away stress :D i miss blogging long stuff about them . but i really didnt post all of them before . i must have deleted them before . bummer . they heard bentz sing again (i do a lot) . haha . couz most of them were laughing . at him . i guess going home was a wrong decision . time is really what we need i guess . i missed a lot of it .

Highway Praxidice :))

dependency :"|

2011-03-17T18:35:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder . if im really a someone to her . dont i basically have the right to get at least annoyed once in a while ? dont i get the chance to cool off from her striking words ? i always feel like she is far more strict than my mom . my mom lets me do anything i want . she lets me have everything i want . she can be both . but she is now very limiting me from the new things i want . dont i get a chance to change again ? dont i get to change ? couz basically she will leave and ill be no where near me . me and my drama again . i need space . i need to adjust . she knows how much i am dependent and how much i suck when i dont have a host ? i wont have any by july so i basically need to adjust not being with her couz she wont be there for me anymore . i hate myself . i hate being dependent . im a loser

``freak :|

different streak of weird

2011-03-14T19:22:00.005+08:00

today is worth blogging :D well today is kinda different from the days beforehand because we are given the privelage of having a half day :D yay :D anyway since today we only get to have half day its worth comparing it from the day before . well yesterday . expectations were not met . and i got my heart broken yesterday because i was expecting to get 2 signatures of 2 persons i really yet i didnt get one :| thats totally depressing . well i did got signed . library :| but that doesnt count i guess . thats different . i totally felt like i wasted that day for leaving a notebook and a powerpoint presentation at home . hopeless :| so yesterday i really wasnt in the mood for practice whatsoever . my singing sucked . i really hate singing when i feel like i didnt do anything worthwhile . i know i waste a lot of time and all that stuff but i know what my limits are . i know i like wasting time . but i seriously dont like wasting efforts . i realize that now couz basically ive been like that . luckily sir JR finally signed my clearance . its like i really didnt want to let go of my smile when i finally saw his signature on my clearance :D its almost like all else was nothing compared to physics . that will be my last tear for that subject this school year . after math . everything will fall into place :D but i still dont know if id graduate . i still fear i didnt do my best in everything and that i will fail . and i seriously dont know what i am . who i am . and what im supposed to do . i really dont know . i really still dont trust myself . anyway . since today is half day . we get a day off from graduation practices . thats like so cool . couz i dont get to hear "jokes" anymore . tsk . ive been hearing that word and working on my weird laugh . my classmates missed that laugh :)) joke . anyway they decided differently O.o so i really dont know who to be with after we eat . anyway i really didnt expect to be with them . and it kinda made me happy to be with them :D i really like that they shared a lot to me . and they really like to do a lot of crazy things as well . its kinda cute to look at them since they are a whole group and i look like a freak when i an weird all by myself . well maybe i am a real freak . i am maybe .

:|

2011-03-13T20:04:00.001+08:00

ok so this day could get worse right ? i got him angry at me . and he is not online for me to beg of forgiveness . so ill just suck my sins for now . anyway i am really evil for doing that i guess . i never knew he was anti any of those . he used to not care couz i never really used to cursing

To you,
i just got that out of my surroundings and i changed a lot since ive been alone . i have been alone and sucking at it . ok so im sorii . please forgive me :| i know it sounds strange and all but i already told you . living without you is like hell . and i know its my fault and ive been living in this hell i made for myself . i know i dont deserve you . i know i cant live on my own . i really dont see a future anymore since you left . i really didnt want you to . well duh you were my future . its just i felt . its best for you . i dont deserve you . i dont believe in what you said about you not being boyfriend ideal couz you are the perfect guy who ruled my world . i still keep crying at night for you . i still treasure every gift you gave me . except the ones i've lost when we were still together . i know you still hate me for all the mistreating ive done . you seriously dont deserve to have to be with someone like me . im just blogging to seriously get this load off me couz no one really does listen to me when i talk about you . i am so tired of pretending to like someone else . why would you even think of such a thing ? you are one of those who believed . i cant believe you . i tried to believe as well . but it felt pointless . you know how i hate not telling the truth and how weird i become when i dont . i need to cut this . i feel like crying again . im sorrii . good night . i still love you

--loser

Dear Pascal

2011-03-13T13:39:00.000+08:00

Trip ko po mag drama kaya pasenxa :)) Gusto ko magpasalamat sa taong ito dahil ito ang pinaka masayang school year ko bilang high school student . Wala na ata tatalo :D Maraming salamat sa pag tanggap sakin . kahit alam ko na weirdo ako . salamat kasi naramdaman ko na parang may uuwian akong bahay sa dulo ng high school building ng DLA (sabi ni Camille :]] ) . Salamat sa super daming memories :D bullets mode :))

★ Naalala ko tuloy yung first day O.o na late ako ng bongga :)) 1/4 day lang pasok ko :)) hindi alam ni tita na first day ko kaya hindi nya ako ginising :))
★ Sunod na araw naman first day kasama ang subject teachers . yung time na sinindak tayo ni Sir Erbert :)) tapos akala nya super matatakot tayo sa kanya
★ Party Pascal Vs ASAP XV ang memorable din nun :D
★ Filipino Day :D wait birthday ko din yun diba ? O.o salamat sa masayang araw :D umiyak ako the day before ee . pinagalitan pa ako ni ate yanna :))
★ Yung birthday ni Winnie . uhm yeah :)
★ wala na ako maalala nung october O.o
★ Sembreak
★ Yung El fili sa Southmall . kaso hiwalay hiwalay tayo nun ee :|
★ Galiscal Retreat :D
★ Birthday ni Teacher Lan :D super blooming si cher :")
★ Christmas Party :D lahat tayo sumayaw kasi sabi ni Teacher Lan
★ Christmas Vacation
★ Balik sa school tapos practice kaagad para sa prom
★ Palaro week :D 1st place sa tamaang tao girls :D haha :D
★ 'Di ba dapat last dance natin yung buffet table ? pero lahat naman tayo sumayaw sa Prom :P

Sobrang salamat sa lahat . :D pwede nyo na ako kalimutan :)) ang drama ko kasi :)) na tripan ko lang mag drama katulad nung iba . wala matino magawa ee :)) Wag kayo masyado mag pamiss aa :D mahirap yan :D

Mahal ko kayo :D
--G13

i need to self actualize again

2011-03-12T16:12:00.000+08:00

depression + boredom + procrastination = total human life wreckage .

it makes my head spin worse . this depression and boredom i mean . i am really depressed as well so i am committing ~~suicide~~ procrastination . i feel sick . i feel like crying again . maybe i should do so . its not like someone else will comfort me now . i am all alone in my world now . my best friend will leave me . a heartache just met me . no one will love me :| i seriously need to self actualize again . i need someone to be with :(

i love God . i love Blogger

2011-03-12T11:32:00.000+08:00

i thought tumblr was a place for smart people ? why am i seeing these posts ? If God wants it now it will happen . And you guys believe a superstition ? Well I for one believe in God . I will remain faithful and your 2012 superstition will not happen . that is what I believe in . God will spare me 2013 . He will let me fulfill my promise . He will let me say yes to the guy who promised to wait for me . God will let me go to college and finish it . I wont let a superstition stop me . God loves me . God loves YOU . If you believe in him . Don’t let 2012 happen . he just needs your attention . Pray and let your voice be heard .Libya, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Yemen, New Zealand, Mexico, Japan, Taiwan, Indonesia, Philippines, and everywhere else in the world is in peril . We need to support and love one another . let's pray for each other's safety . we all need him . we need to come back to him .

I'm guessing not everyone in tumblr is all that . ill just stay here in blogger where I feel more people like myself belong . Im guessing staying there isnt my thing . maybe I am a loser and I accept wholeheartedly

they say that place is for cool people . well I say this place is for the literate .

--distressed

PLEASE

2011-03-12T00:58:00.003+08:00

reader i beg of you reveal yourself :|

at least leave a message on my conversation page :|

Lucia Reveals the 3rd Secret of Fatima.

2011-03-12T00:44:00.000+08:00

i just want to share this couz i feel like this is real and i believe . and i trust and love God so i will re post this on blogger rather than fb so it can spread as well here :D lets keep our loving God :D he will always on us so let us never forget about him . let's follow his will and everything else will follow

----------

The Church has given permission to reveal to the people the last part of the message. The Blessed Virgin appeared to three children in Fatima , Portugal, in 1917, this is a proven fact; one of these children is still alive, her name is Lucia, she is a cloistered nun and lives in a monastery in Portugal.

Lucia disclosed the message for the first time to Pope Pius XII whom, after reading it, he sealed it and stored away without making it public. Later Pope John XXIII read it and, in the same manner as his predecessor, he kept it out of the public eye because he knew that once revealed; it will bring desperation and panic to human kind.

Now the time has come, and permission has been granted from Pope John Paul II to reveal it to the children of God, in order not to create panic but to make people aware of this important message so everybody can be prepared. The Virgin told Lucia: “Go my child and tell the world; what will come to pass during the 1950′s – 2000′s. Men are not practicing the Commandments that our Father has given us. Evil is governing the world and is harvesting hate and resentment all over. Men will fabricate mortal weapons that will destroy the world in minutes, half of the human race will be destroyed, the war will begin against Rome , and there will be conflicts amongst religious orders.

God will allow all natural phenomenon’s like smoke, hail, cold, water, fire, floods, earthquakes, winds and inclement weather to slowly batter the planet. These things will come to pass before the year 2010. “Those who won’t believe, this is the time,” your beloved mother told you, “those lacking charity towards others and those who do not love thy neighbor like my beloved Son has loved you, all, cannot survive. They will wish to have died, millions are unimaginable, they will come, and there is no doubt our Lord God will punish severely those who do not believe in him, those who despise him and those who did not have time for him I call upon all of you to come to my son Jesus Christ, God helps the world but all of those who do not show fidelity and loyalty will be destroyed.”

Father Agustin, who lives in Fatima, said that Pope Paul VI gave him permission to visit sister Lucia who is a cloistered nun (she does not leave the monastery nor is allowed to receive any visitors). Father Augustin said that she received him greatly overwhelmed and told him: “Father, our lady is very sad because nobody is interested in her prophecy of 1917, though the righteous are walking through a narrow path, the evil ones are walking through an ample road that is leading them straight to their destruction, believe me father, the punishment will come very soon.”

Many souls will be lost; many nations will disappear from the earth. But, in the middle of all these, if men reflect, pray and practice good deeds, the world can be saved. One of all these, if men persist with its evil, the world will be lost forever. The time has come for all to pass on the message of our Blessed Lady to their families, friends, and to the entire world.

Start praying, to make penitence and sacrifices. We are at the last minute of the last day and the catastrophes are near. Due to this, many that were far from the church will return to the open arms of the Church of Jesus Christ . The joining of the churches will result in one Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church ; England , Russia , China , Jews, Muslims and Protestants. All will return believing and worshiping God our creator, in his beloved Son and in our Blessed Mother Virgin Mary”. WHAT AWAITS US??? Every where there will be “Peace Talks”, but punishment will come.

A MAN IN A VERY IMPORTANT POSITION WILL BE ASSASSINATED AND THIS WILL PROVOKE THE WAR.

A POWERFUL ARMY WILL DOMINATE ALL THROUGH EUROPE, AND THE NUCLEAR WAR WILL COMMENCE.

This war will destroy everything, darkness will fall over us for 72 hours (three days) and the one third of humanity that survives this obscurity and sacrifice, will commence to live a new era, they will be good people.

In a very cold night, 10 minutes before midnight, A GREAT QUAKE will shake the earth for 8 hours. This will be the third signal that God is who governs the earth. The righteous and those who propagate the faith and the message of the Lady of Fatima SHOULD NOT FEAR, DO NOT BE AFRAID.

WHAT TO DO???

Bow your heads, kneel down and ask God for forgiveness because, only what is good and is not under the power of evil will survive the catastrophe.

In order for you to prepare and remain alive I will give you the following signs: ANGUISH….. … AND IN A SHORT PERIOD THE EARTH QUAKE WILL COMMENCE… THE EARTH WILL SHAKE….The shake will be so violent that will move the earth 23 degrees and it will return it to its normal position.

Then, total and absolute darkness will cover the entire planet… All evil spirits will be mingling around and free, doing harm to all those souls that did not want to listen to this message and those who did not want to repent. To the faithful souls, remember to light the blessed candles, prepare a sacred altar with a crucifix in order to communicate with GOD and implore for His infinite mercy….

All will be dark; IN THE SKY A GREAT MYSTIC CROSS will appear to remind us the price that his beloved Son had to pay for our redemption.. .In the house the only thing that can give light will be the HOLY CANDLES… Once lit, nothing will put them off until the three days of darkness are over. Also, you should have Holy water that should be sprinkled abundantly on windows and doors. The Lord will protect the property of the chosen ones..

Kneel down before the powerful cross of my beloved Son, pray the Rosary and after each Hail Mary you must pray the following: “Oh God forgive us our sins, preserve us from the fire of hell, take all souls to heaven, specially those who are in more need of they mercy. Blessed Virgin Mary protect us, we love you, save us and save the world”. Pray 5 Creeds and Rosary which is the secret to my Immaculate Heart. All those who believe in my words go and take the message to everyone.

DO NOT FEAR. FEAR NOTHING DURING THE LORD’S GREAT DAY.

Talk to all the souls. now that there is time, those who keep quiet will be responsible for all those souls who will perish in ignorance.

All those who pray humbly the rosary will have the protection of heaven and those who are bound to die I will help them die in peace and they will be holy when they enter the other world. I wish all my children to attend mass every first Friday and every first Saturday of each month, to confess and receive Holy Communion and in doing so, save the world from its TOTAL DESTRUCTION.

WHEN the earth shakes no more, those who still not believe in our Lord will perish in a horrible way. The wind will bring gas and it will disperse it everywhere, then the sun will rise. Maybe you will survive this catastrophe.

Do not forget that God’s punishment is holy and ONCE IT HAS STARTED YOU SHOULD NOT LOOK OUTSIDE, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE, GOD DOES NOT WANT ANY OF HIS CHILDREN TO SEE WHEN HE PUNISHES THE SINNERS…. All this encompasses with the writings of the Holy Scriptures..

Read on the New Testament: Luke: 21 – 5:121, 12:19 , 20:20 , 29:33 Letters of St Paul 3 – 8 – 14 Isaiah 40, 1:5:9. You must understand that God allows all this to happen. The Pope and Bishops are now awaiting another message that speaks about repentance and prayer. Remember that Gods words are not a threat, but good news…

Please reproduce these pages and send them to all you know so we all can have the opportunity to repent and be saved. We do not know if those receiving this message believe or not in GOD, but think that if you are receiving this message is for a reason!! Maybe the Creator is giving us the chance to be saved, no matter what religion or creed.

If you don’t believe in this message at least send it to others, it costs you nothing. To all those receiving it, they can have the opportunity to judge for themselves. Remember, we can avoid a great deal if we practice the Commandments that our Father God left us. These are 10 simple things, that if we all put in practice we can obtain God’s pardon.

weird

2011-03-12T00:21:00.001+08:00

haha this is so freakin funny . i just wanna share well this is almost as if a self centered post . i just saw it randomly on someone else's blog . it was because of the template or something . but look at it . discrimination to ie . you basically used to use that jurassic stuff ie . all browsers have their own pros and cons fyi . and did the creator even credited mac users like myself ? the "x" button can be found on my top left screen . tch funny . creator should really be considerate . this is just so overrated . im not a hater . i didnt view who the creator was . just so you know . im just stating my observation and your lack of consideration .

is this really the kind of post i do when depression consumes me ? O.o

faux fantasies

2011-03-11T21:33:00.002+08:00

depression takes over . he said he will now move on . he said its time i let go . he said that i should go first . yet now he asks my permission . he will now move on . he said . he only misses some things . like the things he does to almost everyone else . he wont seriously miss me . he is just telling that to make me feel better . i cant do anything else . but to let tears fall on my eyes and hide from everyone else . it doesn't matter . its my fault anyways . who am i anyways ? like what i always say . i am nothing but a speck in his memories . i am an insignificant part of his past . my heart hurts thinking about him . i cant use someone else . yet he advised me to do so . and it hurts couz i feel like i need someone to support me . and it hurts thinking that he can never look out for me anymore . no one can ever look out for me now . my best friend will go to dlsu dasma . and i will just accept and let her do what she wants . even my false dreams about jerome sutacio did not take over . its like all my faux chimera didn't stop all the hurt that i received . nothing can make me feel better now . its not like jerome is the type where i can cry all day . or maybe he is really just a stranger who comes to like me and would leave me after knowing some of my stories . i may tell a lot . but not everything . tears fall . not look into other's eyes . i feel more stupid . crying constantly at the same person whom i vowed never to . idiotic right ?

well here i am . crying . not only for japan . but for the hurt i feel . i want to let to . i want to move forward . yet my heart wont let me . will i use another person . just to make me forget ?

Physics :D

2011-03-08T22:21:00.000+08:00

hey blog ! i just passed physics ! BEST DAY EVER XD haha this feeling again . this is so weird . and so fun :D my God :D thank you :D and btw this is a late blog because . i just finished my project in computer . well its a group project yet i still do it for them . anyway i get the feeling i will hate this week as well . still no jerome . and i guess he will leave me now after this week . there is no sweet in fvcking good bye . btw we now have graduation practices . that sucks . we will waste our time doing a pointless thing over and over again . like the prom . who knows if my reaction of the previous event and of this event would be the same . tsk . that is so weird . anyway . tomorrow we will go off to the avr again tsk . this is the last . i hope . that we transfer to a different classroom due to some freakin test we dont belong to . i need to keep the GV of physics . thank you God . this is all from your grace :D good night God . im sleepy

pascal

2011-03-07T21:39:00.000+08:00

today is the day . my heart got broken

wtf that was a joke . love and heartaches most of the time are together at times you most dont expect it right ? well thats what i didnt like what i did actually . i expected . i was so happy and so proud . i really feel like . we won on our own right . we won each other's hearts :D well at first today i was really very bv . and i felt bad at them for not appreciating each other's efforts . i for one have multiple roles and dont notice everything ive been doing for them . even if i only joined saturday's practice . i showered them all my efforts in learning everything overnight and assisting them with the production . if i were there from the start . my ideas would be there a lot . i am all about sharing ideas and all that stuff . but i also got used to rejection . i know people wouldnt like my mind anyways . even if i share . well after all the hard work . even if we didnt win . we just gave our best to not let our dearest adviser down . i really dont like the feeling of not making her happy . i just feel like . my best is not enough . or . its just not our time . we just need to wait :D

4-sided situation

2011-03-06T18:14:00.002+08:00

procrastinating once again . tsk i am so weird and i am so not in the mood to do anything . btw i have been so weird as well to help my sister color the coloring book i bought with her . haha i am so evil that instead of doing my project i go and help my sister with her coloring book . thats a real

EPiC FAiL

haha that is so me . how dare i ? ~.~ btw i have learned how to use 2 different rubik's cube in a 3 day span . i am so proud of myself :D its a V4 cube and a mirror cube :D well the mirror cube is a v3 cube as well . but judging from its appearance . it really makes the person completing it really confused . well . i am happy :D i now know how to complete:

★ Pocket Cube
★ Rubik's Cube
★ Rubik's Revenge
★ Mirror Cube

cute right ? x] it really is very fulfilling :D oh i wanna share new things i wanna learn as well :D its still a cube ~.~

★ Professor's Cube
★ V6

that would be so cool @.@ to know how to play with every cube but im guessing ill slow down now . with all of that on my head . and all that stuff to memorize . well it is not working with me not having a cube myself . anyway . ill just spend my money on cubes again . tsk at least i get to enjoy :D but the thing is . i have to choose between buying .

★ A set of new books
★ a pair of socks . that FiT !
★ A new watch to pair with him :3
★ or those cubes

wow my heart is so ripped up again :| cant decide . obviously . still marga here :| wow this is the blog has the most blockquote in it . haha tsk . this looks really weird with all the codes getting messed up . blogger is sooo sticky ~.~ anyway ill play the mirror cube again . couz really weird . :D

Ciao ;]

--ProcrastinatingWithCubes

jerome ? O.o

2011-03-04T18:50:00.006+08:00

i wonder what he tastes like . damn . if it weren't for wrenzo biting him earlier . that thought wouldn't linger on my mind . dang . its so weird . anyway . today is a very weird day anyways . well this week . today is the only time i get to talk to that guy for 2 times . dang . for the past few days ive been annoying myself couz i basically dont have a chance and . i dont have the right x] to talk to him . which is very evil i say . tsk . its been driving me nuts . anyway . its a god given day . yet . i have too many stories to tell . and the god given time is still limited . yet im still thankful :D at least it was him i still i feel comfortable saying my weird stories again . and he still listens no matter how stupid i look like . anyways . i still feel a lot uncertain . even with the knowledge he would do a lot for me . couz basically im not sure if he'd do everything i want from him . well you know how i am . i tend to get dependent blah blah . i get everything i want . i want everything i can have . but and even if i dont want to . i get tired of things easily if i dont get too exited of it . damn it im a brat :| i even annoy myself to hell . i really dont know what to do now . i get the feeling he doesn't want to have proper communication after graduation . he will forget about me . i am widely forgettable and highly foolish . i dont know what to believe . oh yeah . i got too preoccupied with him and forgot to share . today was the last day of periodical tests . *depression* well . i still cant help it . i still feel like this year is not enough . i knew another person that makes me laugh a lot . and i just knew him for about 3 month time . and i do feel like i am still a stranger . who am i anyways ? im just a girl who told him a lot of secrets and a lot of things i dont expect to even share . wth . he doesnt ask yet i find myself in a situation sharing things very me . its like im pouring a marga on a glass of him . its really weird . i used to do that to people who ive known for a long time . but for him . i guess . he just got my trust and got everything else with it . everything except assurance . he has to provide that i guess . i cant get that . the part where a guy has to do a lot for you and you cant do anything in return . they just give you almost everything and all he asks in return is a smile . is it me or just are more masochistic than so i call myself ? hmmmmm . thats not pain i realize . yet i still feel like girls are still responsible of returning equal favors . and not just your sweetest smile . dont you feel like i have a lot of loans or something ? couz i would feel like that . i did . tsk :| anyway i HOPE he proves me wrong . i really hope...

ncae O.o

2011-03-02T19:55:00.002+08:00

ok so i have to admit . when people star praising me . i feel more like they are lying than what they are telling me is true . i cant deny but i feel really shy >.< i feel like i dont deserve to be praised . rawr . i guess . i feel like not all people are not genuine . and i feel also like im not :| who am i ? weirdo . btw the ncae results just got out . here is a preview of it.

General Scholastic Aptitude
Scientific Ability 76
Reading Comprehension 95
Verbal Ability 85
Mathematical Ability    98 O.o
Overall GSA 95

Technical-Vocational Aptitude
Clerical Ability 54
Visual Manipulative     71
Overall TVA 64

NonVerbal Ability 63

Logical Reasoning 94

Entrepreneurial Skill
Planning & Decision Making 82
Budgeting, Marketing & Forecasting 22 :)) =))
Creativity    89
Overall ES 61

anyway i have to go no . ill be back later . i have to meet someone :D

caio
--distressed :|

adventitious .

2011-03-01T17:05:00.000+08:00

ok so i am still an epic fail . but editing my blog was fun . at least i did something that made sense . anyway . i still feel incomplete . i want to do a lot of things yet i still feel hindered by an invisible force field . and its freakin not magnetic ~.~ i am guessing my head is currently not over princess diaries yet . i seriously want to finish the whole set now . well . michael moscovitz is kinda interesting . haha . i am compelled i guess . i never encountered a michael moscovitz scenario before *senior-freshmen relationship* but i do know it does happen . i guess its kinda normal to the american society . well my reading books and watching movies show me a lot of those anyways . but here in the phils ? its kinda not normal . so as to say . filipinos are more of the same age line . that is based on my observations . well i have encountered once an unlikely couple . a 25 year old guy and an 18 year old gal . its kinda weird . i guess its out of custom . yet its acceptable by law . i guess i really should stick to teenage drama genre . its weird reading about old people when your mind is totally on being a kid . im totally gonna miss this . all this free time i guess . ill be on being busy next year . im not sure . at least im expecting to get a lot of work overload on my desk . i do that now . i will do that as well next year . i have a right to prognosticate ~.~ deal with it ~.~ btw i miss having practices . i dont need to worry i guess . couz we have a new one next week . but its different . wait . its different . but i think they have something in common . im just guessing . i used to think that . i would hate practicing for prom because i'd hate the said event . but to my unfortunate expectation . its one of the best nights i had on my life . but i think this is a lot different . after this event . there would be nothing after it . our very close and whole batch is about to disperse into other colleges . we are about to let go of one another and move on . i seriously think moving on is the hardest part . im just guessing . it would not come as well . well i could . couz i dont feel like i belong anyways . but they would always feel like something is missing . they need one another anyways . im guessing ill be living on my own next year . i will be a stranger to everyone else next year . *grr here comes the drama again* . at least now i dont get to spend 1O hours in a single room pretending to like every person in the room . well im just being defensive . they dont like me . so ill try my best to not be on their way . i am what people say i am . i am an introvert and like it that way . i am kinda starting to let go of them now . well i dont have a group for physics and i wont have any anymore . i dont want to do the seatwork anymore . they dont care about me . so i will try my best to not let the hurt show anymore . what really hurt is not the part where i dont have a seatwork . what hurts most is the part where they dont bother to ask me if i have a group or not . i will just leave tomorrow a lot earlier than they will . god i am procrastinating again :| i dont want to bother . i want to have time for myself i guess . at least i dont always feel too loser when i spend my time here . i wish blogger can let me know who my viewers are ~.~ just thought of it all of a sudden . i wonder . when will my father have his foot on the country again ? its march 1 and he hasn't told me anything . i just wish he wouldn't surprise me ~.~ that'd be a bummer :| your dad all of a sudden rushing to see you without any idea he'd be coming . anyways . i hate this week i guess . i am sluggishly tired . and we had only half of the day . btw i will share . we had 3 tests today . and i slept on all of them . that is how freakishly tired i am . and i was dreaming like a weirdo alien . and they told me i was smiling on my sleep again ~.~ that happened before during physics and labs told me i looked like an angel . wait . how the hell in the world does an alien look like an angel ? freakin camouflage ? haha dang x] speaking of sleep im becoming sleepy again . haha . and i still havent accomplished anything . thats fine . NOT . tomorrow will be the test on physics ~.~ well i guess ~~*hope*~~ i will pass this exam . haha or else i shall weep again for physics . haha . whatever happens . i always weep for physics . some just dont notice . i weep a lot for it . i never really imagined myself weeping for a subject concerning science . maybe arithmetic . but i dont suck as much as i do with physics . wait ! i did weep for analytic geom sometime before prom as far as i can remember . i constantly keep failing . yet i understand each concept . its like my mind is deceived . i keep thinking if ive gone too stupid to fail and not graduate and not go to college and not go old and not have a family someday . man . i really should stop being too ridiculous . i feel a lot foolish . i need your attention . attention needed ~.~ yet he doesnt understand . he doesnt give me too much . he just gives me whenever he has a chance . well next year he wouldnt have any anymore . im giving him all of my attention . but he doesnt know me when im not at school or anything . like what i said earlier . i am a stranger outside the walls of our school . im guessing 2 years wouldnt happen . i should stop daydreaming by now . anyways . itouch loves is still singing paramore . like wow . since i started blogging hayley has been sining . untill now she is still isnt tired . i didnt know she had that too much song to sing . and the fact that not all her songs are here . weird ~.~ anyways i dont like hayley anymore ~.~ only harley x] well i still feel like she is too bitter to keep paramore as it was . everything has changed for them . anyway i am going back to loving my old favorite singers . like alanis moristte and natasha bedingfield . it makes me remember ma dear . i really love singing with her those songs . i still wish it was her coming here to the phils . i really miss being with her . and everything we used to do together . i really wish my mom all the best . i love her so much . and i miss her jokes as well . im learning discipline all by myself . booooring . anyway i have to go now . or else this will go on and on and on till 11 . id better stop myself before it gets worse . and im getting hungry as well ~.~ ill post tomorrow ? this is still short compared to soliloquy . and that time i was freakin sleepy already . tsk . ill do a lot of these this week . and i hope i beat soliloquy :]

--hungryloser x]

new layout ;]

2011-02-28T19:51:00.000+08:00

having knowledge on javascript rocks ! i like my new layout . special thanks to:

★ knowledge on javascript
★ Blogger templates
★ GOOGLE !x]

haha why oh why am i so obnoxious ? x] ill blog more later . im figuring out more about the pages . its cool x] be back later . i seriously need to study even if im really not in the proper mindset :|

--boredloser

distress

2011-02-28T17:12:00.000+08:00

i need to blog before i review O.o haha i seriously cant take it . my head hurts . my ears are dysfunctional . and my nose is escaping . i dont know whats gotten into me . but ive been depressed the whole weekend as well as this morning . its like i dont have the right to be happy . *drama* . i really find their blogs a lot more interesting than mine . i guess they have fresher ideas than mine . my blog is my literal journal . speaking of journals . i wasted time once again on reading princess diaries . rather than writing notes on physics . i totally had to finish the book again before writing for physics . thats the thing i hate about myself i guess . i totally dont let go of books i started . i really need to finisht it first before i let go of such object . anyway . blog you are so old ~.~ i looked at my first post on blogger . and it brought back the urge for me to write that long again . btw for those who dont know . the first post is not the first blogger post . that was brought back from my multiply blog ;] . and its amazing how being random can make you type everything what you never really imagined what was really going through your mind . i never even really thought i could make such composition . i really wish i could make such composition again . but for now ill just let my fingers run through what is really on my mind . haha i am currently multi tasking by letting my fingers go through what is on my mind rather what i see . anyway . i dont know what to feel again . i feel like i should make a dream come true again . over dose of tangled again . itouch is telling me .

i used to care so much about what others think about .
i almost didnt have a thought of my own .
the slightest remark . would make me embark on a journey of self doubt

sad really . but it doesnt end there .

this girl has got stronger .
and if i knew then what i know now .
i would have told myself dont worry any longer its ok ;]

one of the songs i really love most . its old . i know . but i love natasha so much :3 a real sense of womanhood i guess . she taught me how to love myself :] still . i am too afraid to tell the world everything whats going on through my mind . maybe a reason why i am labeled as weird and very awkward to be with . no wonder no one likes to talk to me too much . anyway . id rather write it on a blog than say it to anyone . i guess teacher aida was right about my old dream of becoming a member of social groups like greenpeace . i cant even socialize . i care about the environment a lot . but i cant even adjust on my own community . its an irony as i may say . a person like myself would want to be a member of such an amazing organization . i guess ill just go to computer conferences in the near future . i would be mediocre . as i always feared . i dont want to be a part of the crowd . yet i dont stand out . i am left out . thats the term i guess . SELF ESTEEM PLEASE GROW . i HATE BLOGGiNG ABOUT YOU . this is SERiOUS iSSUE yet there is NO solution . :| i need a new topic . it sucks talking about my self esteem :

grrr next blog please ~.~
--LoserNeedsALife

stupid feelings

2011-02-27T11:16:00.000+08:00

ok blog my head hurts and i dont want to write for physics again :| tsk i know . i know im lazy . forgive me but i really dont want to write T.T my feelings are all mixed up again . i really dont know who to love . and the reasons why i feel like so . i really loathe this feeling . up to now it really doesnt make sense to me . why am i like this ? ok i want to break down what i really feel . well yesterday i had a conversation with Arjone Marie Cruz and i told her . i think i want to pursue college and forget about a lot of things . im tired of becoming constantly hurt of the past and not moving forward . i keep pretending to be in love when really im not into it as much as they think i am . i am still haunted . i still love him most . guess what ? i get a lot depressed basically . im stupid i know . his posts are not for me . i shouldnt look at it . or else i will *i do* suffer the consequences and get hurt . well he is happy now . except the part where his real best friend doesnt like his new love . i really dont know why she disapproves . i really dont want to know who his new love is anymore . i dont want to be part of the topic . i dont want to be hindrance . i want to live in harmony with myself . well i also told arjone i want to forget about a nightmare . the person who scared me . i never want to see his face . i really dont know if he has the ability to love . i pity his girl friend . she deserves a better man . i really wonder . if she is smart enough to realize . how blind she's been on loving him . i dont know . i dont want to judge her anymore . i just feel she needs to wake up . at least i did . i dont want to be with a nightmare . i also told about arjone of my new dream . i still dont trust myself if it were to happen . i still dont trust me of the truth . i dont know if people tell of the truth . i will share one . the person who currently makes me happy most promised me something that i feel is worth breaking .

"I am willing to wait for you"

i never really knew someone whould do that . and i dont feel like trusting . i already feel my heart breaking . i am really afraid of trusting now i guess . well i will share about my conversation with arjone about my new dream . my dream is now to learn how to trust . and love and believe in myself . and i also dream of a guy who would patiently wait and trust me more than i can ever trust myself . if you know me enough you would know how low my self esteem really is . and how i totally loathe myself . i dream of forgiving and forgetting . i once realized . i never really had proper dreams . i was always filled with nightmares . and fears of who i really am . i fear what is really laid before me . i fear it would someday consume me and take me . i realized i never dreamed . i only wished and now . i need to hold on to what i believe is called hope .

i miss writing love on his arms
--Vince's brokenwingedangel

tangled ♥

2011-02-26T00:47:00.001+08:00

ok so i wish there was a like page on blogger as well . haha ! i so totally found an alumni's page . an old friends page . and even an unexpected friend's page. and i kinda looked at my linkage . and i found out some of them dont use their blogs any more *no surprise* and some of the blogs were deleted . so i kinda renewed my sidebar O.o well i need it i guess . btw i still find their posts cooler than mine . i am so awful at this . i should delete mine as well ~.~ but i wouldnt . my blogger is my best friend . haha i whip my hair x] btw did i ever tell you that there is now never a day that i do not open the mapua site ? if there would be a stalker list of that particular website . my name would be on top x] well i dont know why . but im freakin exited . oh . did i even tell i passed ? ~.~ heres a screen shot :

its still weird for me to look at it but its a ritual i do almost everyday . or maybe i check the pages blah blah . i am such a nutter . well basically im going to a school i never once dreamed of . i never even considered it before . but when my dreams got shattered . i just found mapúa waiting for me with open arms . kidding . well . i keep repeating to myself my favorite line in tangled . when you find your dream come true *or when your dream did not come true* . Mapúa is my new dream now . i dont know if my first dream college would come true . still i hope im his new dream too ♥ :3

dreamless

--mapúagirl

i miss my mom

2011-02-24T22:52:00.000+08:00

i therefore conclude . i suck at making blogs . haha . well basically . i saw 2 blogs from my school that are seriously worth reading . and are real literature . mine is almost like a journal i guess . its not like im in love like them . they always have a sure reader or something . im trying my best to not get jealous . haha . who am i anyways ? i dont see my own worth . btw this blog is a day late couz i talked to my virtual brother . he told me a lot . it really fun to have him around . and its really cute to have a guy tell you a KV story . its very unlikely he told me the story . and yet he knows that i would always listen to his stories . how i wish he is a real brother of mine :| btw . im guessing im saying goodbye to ran online ? i now quit on trying to make it work on windows 7 . i know i can but i really dont want to anymore i guess . its just . i dont know . well im currently playing dragonica and the funny thing is . its not very entertaining as much as ran . well . i guess its time to uninstall it . i really dont stand a chance . im still a nutter when it comes to computer . i get a feeling this day is wasted as well . seriously dont like feeding my boredom with games anymore . i dont have a pen to use to write my notes yet . haha im such a loser . i didnt even have a leatherette to finish my project . im such a loser . im dead bored i guess . i freakin dont have anyone to talk to during weekends . maybe thats why i hate it so much now . i miss someone who always used to talk to me during my free time . anyways . i am a no one to him now . i take that as a fact and accept fate couz its my freakin fault . btw yesterday bhez decided i walk her home . to my house . couz after so she will go to Eugene's house . when she told me she needed my guide . someone unexpected decided to join as well . he is basically the person who always want to sit next to me . and decided to want to walk with me as well . haha its weird . what i just typed was so wrong couz basically he already danced with me . im so freakin stupid ¬.¬ . i really dont know but i really ~~wish~~ hope he isnt like the others before him . or maybe im just really not worth anything . here goes my low self esteem again . i talked about it with my virtual brother yesterday . and maybe he's right i just need a someone to take care of my freakin world . i am now seriously afraid of trust issues . and i am also afraid of myself now . i know and i get the feeling i am a very horrible person whenever i am alone or something . i really dont get myself . a huge part of me tells me that i need to go and trust other persons while another tells me i dont matter to them and i just need to keep hold of myself and keep everything to myself . my happiness . my stories . i get the freakin feeling no one is really going to listen to me but my blog . no one looks at my blog . i know . based on my stat as well . i just . i dont know . i need someone that trusts whatever i freakin do and doesnt complain who im with . maybe thats all i want for now . maybe i also need a someone who will seriously wait for me for 2 years . i hope he's the one :3

totally random

damsel'dloser

something special.♥

2011-02-19T15:04:00.000+08:00

2 nights ago was the best night of my life ♥ . its the unexpected fun of prom . everybody basically didnt expect to like it much . but everybody in that room loved it more than deserved .its not that it doesnt deserve to be appreciated . its just . everything took our breath away . its like the room suddenly shifted for everyone to enjoy and share the night . its not like we had a choice . the song drew us together . and a bond was formed . some of us barefooted . some of them was even on the stage leading the party . everyone was having the night of their lives . im not gonna be plastic but almost everyone was a different person . like myself as an example . i looked and felt like one . well basically even people from america was talking about me . its kinda weird . having a conference call again with america and italy . im just typing here and just listening to their conversation . well my dad just hang up . and so silence is back . oh btw . i had a 2 night stay at kathleen's house . its a plus on the best night ever and the best day ever x] i really had the time of my life :3 its really amazing how everything fits into place . except the part when i go home and see my ruined pc which contains all my files and all my project . basically i do not have back up . and i feel like crying again . and its annoying . if ever i need to reformat . i just wish only the C:\ part needs to be formatted . i really hope E:\ will be safe :| *cross fingers* anyhow i would like to say that i just got a praise from my grandmom . which is very unlikely . and made me kinda proud of myself . thank you prom . well its not everyday i get that privilege . its almost like a treat for doing a trick x] btw i am currently addicted to tangled . its still on my mind x] its freakin cute and i totally adore it x] btw i just want to share . when prom ended . it almost felt like my life ended . but then i realized . its my high school life that ended . that childhood was long before me . and that i was about to get older and go to college . that what i felt is actually the opposite . my life is only about to begin :3 ♥

angel's best friend
~lovelyloser.♥

curse saint valentinus ¬.¬

2011-02-14T20:28:00.000+08:00

hey blog . i currently have no writing apparatus with me . haha . well basically jerome has my pencil case and ive got none on me right now . anyways . i have to admit . today may be the weirdest day ever to have existed . i guess . well i really prevented myself of expecting such romantic things due to the fact a saint died and wanted everyone to spread love on the day he died . which is kinda annoying couz basically its his death day . stupid . anyway ¬.¬ . its a really complicated day to celebrate . like what i read yesterday . its just some lame excuse to make guys let girls feel like princesses in which they should do everyday of the freakin year . you just dont do it on valentines day . oh by the way . i did receive something . and its not a something i should get used to . i got a flower . and its pink . haha . so i gave it to kath to tease her . in which she almost threw out . well she basically presumed it was from jerome . in which she is once again correct . but its better i give her something for a weird change . oh btw today we took up apsa again . its freakin weird again . i wonder what would be the results . i really didnt take that seriously once again . tsk again before i go and study for the post test tomorrow morning . one more share . i am annoyed and my arm now has a new bruise on it . its freakin blue . thanks to mr independence . tsk .

freakin

dependentloser

bivouac ♥

2011-02-12T21:36:00.000+08:00

good evening :3 im just blogging for a sec . i guess . anyway i just realized i finished my blog early last time . i forgot to share about the fact that i have the right to obtain jerome's necklace in which no other creature was allowed to use so until i came along . haha ! im so evil . im breaking tradition :| i kinda realized this object is his lucky charm or something . couz basically . sometime after he removed the said object . some liquid spilled over his shirt .i feel evil . i think i should return it ~.~ . moving on . today is saturday . we have cat during saturday . and this saturday is not just any saturday .we had our mini bivouac ! x] its seriously something i want to get used to . haha . its got a lot of team building . and physical and mental stuff to make your head work . i really like doing it . the only thing is . ive got no team to build with . haha . only myself and my sisters . and maybe even just me . haha anyways . i didnt expect much . but i really liked almost every part of it :3 i could ask for more . but that would be too much to ask of them . maybe someday :3

ill continue this blog tomorrow .

sleepyloser.♥

college wait for me ♥

2011-02-11T18:18:00.000+08:00

ok so i officially got my period today . and it hurts a lot to the point where i was almost vomiting again . i really hate that . basically i thought i was gonna get the vomits again . well i decided that i needed to visit the clinic once more . haha . its a kinda good feeling to come back to that place 'couz i wont anymore next year . im guessing ill come back there if ever i visit dla again :3 the clinic of dla is one of the places in the world where i feel most safe :3 ill really miss that place if i go to college . speaking of college . i feel like dying . basically i am once again in the face of the greatest irony in my life . i SERiOUSLY passed Mapúa . but i SERiOUSLY failed Analytic Geometry . like WTH is wrong with me ? . and SERiOUSLY ? how in the world will i get my grades up in physics as well ? i have a feeling i wont go to Mapúa as well :| i feel like crying . and speaking of crying . i was crying last night . im guessing the reasons are .

★ the two stated above

★ pms [as usual]

★ kathleen will never go to Letran . well duh . everybody passes La Salle Dasma

★ i have bruises all over me

dont i ever look stupid ? well basically i always do . anyways . pms still got me . but the thought of kath not being in intramuros next year sucks more than my pms will ever do . pms is a temporary pain believe me . but her being away from me . or even pajee will suck me more to the core . im wishing no one will read this and no one will ever tell her the story of this stupid pms and my not wanting her in Dasma . well she deserves more than Dasma . she can even have more of the volleyball stuff in Letran than in Dasma . i know i have no right to make her . but im just looking at whats best for her . im guessing i wont tell her about this anymore . id rather just keep it to myself than fight with what she think is better for her . well she wants to be there because she thinks getting to school on time would be a problem . she would not be able to control who i hang out with anymore and the relationships i have with strangers and other unidentified flying objects there are on the surface of this planet . speaking of relationships . I and my partner are causing rumors all over the campus . well we all know what it means when 2 creatures of the opposite sex are always together on that said area are always thought to have a secret relationship or have the senses over one another . its really weird . but its a really cute feeling to have when its someone like him . haha . anyways . i told him . and everyone else that i can only have a relationship on 2O13 . haha . i just wanna see . if someone could ever wait for me . and love me that long . who knows ? O.o

~wonderingloser♥

2011-01-12T17:27:00.000+08:00

up to now . the thought of him still haunts me . the sight of him makes my heart ache . it burns my insides all over again . washing me with water as cold as ice . as hard as i try to mingle with other people to cover my pains . your eyes see through me . i always look away . to prevent the tears from falling . couz i have once again failed . to forget the pains you're holding

heart ache :|

garbage

2010-12-28T15:43:00.000+08:00

here i am . once again . deleted . haha . this sucks . it really shows how i am not valued by persons around me . so i dont need to do so on myself . i really hate marga . TRASH . i really dont blame them . she is garbage bin worthy

throw me out again

distressedloser

freakin check up

2010-12-20T17:44:00.000+08:00

i wasted 4 hours waiting infront of some stupid stupid hospital lane only to find out the check up took us no less than a minute . and we had to leave . i wasted time like hell in manila earlier . i was forced to wake up early today . to the extent of a 5 minute shower to come early . i was so damned . i guess this is really the saddest christmas i would spend in my life . i am wishing i was like the guy from 'the man who cant be moved' . well basically i cant . first . im too weak and too sensitive to feel like stone . im a cry baby . i loathe myself . i loathe how i run my life . i seriously hate myself . argh ! for the third time . i despise myself . i freakin do . how can i dare like myself when all reasons tell me not to .

oh darling i wish you were here

2010-12-16T22:11:00.000+08:00

good evening blog

its 1o so this'll be fast . i just want to say . tears never fail me these days . i have daily doses of those on my eyes . im hating myself . and so should you . . . . . . . . . nevermind . you're all i have . i love you .

good night O.o

my heart is about to burst

2010-12-10T18:13:00.000+08:00

i have to admit my heart hurts a lot . i have tons of load on my chest . ive got loads of reasons to cry now adays . i loathe my self . ive got no one to depend on now . i feel totally lost . damn im crying infront of my pc . stupid marga . im guessing i wont finish this . ive got myself lost because of my stupid decisions . i am totally surrounded by people who are so self centered that my heart hurts thinking of how much i love them and in return i dont mean anything to them . why do they have to ask me if im fine if really i know they just want to slap on my face my mistakes and it hurts that i have to tell them when they force me . and it hurts me a lot . damn corrections . i wont look at my monitor . tears are falling at my keyboard . why does it have to be to the point i pity myself for living ? i want to move on . but im so totally tied . damn .

how can i move on if im still in love with you ?

-the man who cant be moved

marga's reaction O.o

2010-10-18T19:14:00.000+08:00

actually this is my for my sister's reaction paper with my work . i just want to share O.o

Romeo and Juliet (Tragedy)

This story is one of the best know tragedies in the world. Made by the greatest writer in the English language, William Shakespeare. Shakespeare is known for his 38 plays, 154 sonnets, 2 long narrative poems and other poems. His early plays were mainly comedies and histories. He then wrote about tragedies and tragicomedies.
“Romeo and Juliet” is among Shakespeare’s most popular plays, along with Macbeth and Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet is a story about two young “star-cross’d lovers” whose death are ultimately unite their feuding families, Capulet and Montague.
Most stories now a days copy Shakespeare’s version of Romeo and Juliet but differ in names, places and authors. This tragedy is what people consider the original story of “star-cross’d lovers”. This story shows how the innocence of an infatuation can bring peace to their family as well as their city. The havoc of the family’s feud caused chaos in Verona. I personally think it is unfair that civilians may get harmed because of their feud. Thankfully, Prince Escalus made a decree that anyone who would destroy the peace in Verona would be exiled or is punishable of death.
Romeo met Juliet on the Capulet’s ball. He first thought of coming there in hopes of seeing Rosaline, his first love. However, Romeo instead falls in love with Juliet, the daughter of Lord Capulet. They profess their love for one another during the balcony scene. They get infatuated with one another and promised to one another to marry the next day. I think that most modern people would not fall for the opposite sex that quick but there are still some who gets infatuated as well at first sight. Most modern people would leave what they think of the opposite sex as first impression and does not fall too easily for one another. It is also too ideal that they promise to marry one another they next day they meet one another. It is almost as if they are marrying a stranger. It is also not practical to marry one another in the midst of their family’s feud. It is also too childish that they do not ask consent of their parents. I think that they should have thought over their decisions first before letting their feeling take over.
The Capulet’s kinsmen, Tybalt, sensed the presence of Montagues on the ball. He then challenges Romeo for a duel. I really didn’t get this part of the story. Is it Tybalt’s way of showing he is territorial or just plain annoyance of the fact they got through under his nose. Romeo turned down Tybalt’s challenge because he considers him as kinsman as well. Mercutio got annoyed of Tybalt’s insolence and Romeo’s vile submission so he accepted the duel on behalf of Romeo. Mercutio got wounded and Romeo got in the fight as well. Romeo then accidentally kills Tybalt. Having known of the duel, Prince Escalus exiled Romeo. Romeo then secretly spends the night with Juliet where they consummate their marriage. This is the most complicated part of the story where Romeo accidentally kills Juliet’s cousin and gets exiled and takes the opportunity to have sex with his wife. It’s also odd they have sex to make their marriage official. I’m guessing its part of old tradition.
Lord Capulet misinterprets Juliet’s grief for Romeo and thinks that it is for her cousin Tybalt. Lord Capulet then agrees to marry her to Count Paris. Juliet then asks Friar Lawrence for help and offers her a drug that would put her in a death-like coma for a day. It is a way to take her out of the marriage and save their relationship from their family’s feud. The plan would work. They’d be free from their family’s strife. Friar Lawrence asked Friar John to inform Romeo of the plan. But Friar John did not reach Romeo and, instead learns of Juliet’s false death from his servant Balthazar. He then hurries to the Capulet’s burial vault. Romeo then sees Paris in the vault kills him. Believing death is the only way to reconcile with Juliet, he drinks a poison, which he bought from an apothecary. Juliet then wakes up and found Romeo dead. She then stabs herself with the dagger she found near her love’s hand. This part of the story is really complex. I also couldn’t believe Shakespeare would be so barbaric of his characters. Especially the part where Juliet wakes up just after Romeo drinks the poison. The death of the lovers was not put to waste. The peace Friar Lawrence has been asking for came after their death. It was very odd that they had to sacrifice their only offspring to make peace with the other party. It was really mean for the 2 parties to do so. They had to make their children find a way to lie to them and make their child turn away from them or have resentment that would really cause their children’s death. They are very self-centered people having thought only of themselves before their children especially of the civilians involved. But if they weren’t this would not be the Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet. It would be just a simple love story of a happily ever after.

thou shalt loathe thee .

2010-10-17T00:50:00.000+08:00

dear blog . haha . dang . ive been too depressed for my good again . haha . here i am again . i really cant abandon you my dear . you see . i cant tell everyone what i feel . and i feel better addressing a stranger to you than to them . haha . anyways . i feel my heart really aching for days along with my other body pains . haha . i hate stress so much . haha . i hate all this aching as well . haha . i keep on laughing even if i know inside myself im hurt . dang . haha i feel stupid again . anyways . i get all these feeler feelings about myself . like i dont need to keep on waiting for a something which isnt mine to claim anymore . there are a lot of thing in this world i would like to greedily take claim of and credit as mine . i feel like im being to ambitious and greedy . i loathe myself . haha . im seriously not allowed to tell everything i feel . it would cost me to lessen my dignity x] i really hate myself right now . for not being allowed to blog everything i want to express . i feel really limited . and closed . i cant even write on paper what i truly feel right now at the fear of anyone passing through my bones and hack into my brain . anyway i deserve this things anyway . i really dont deserve anything from anyone . i loathe myself . i rebuke stress . haha

i am

all time

distressedloser

like mother like daughter.:]

2010-09-03T23:39:00.000+08:00

ok so . i have to admit . now a days i cant stop my mouth from saying too many bad words . i feel evil . but it feels good too . ive never been like this before . its a something that i feel like ive gone against my old self . its like im a new person . and its a someone who keeps on cursing . honestly that is what it is . i feel a lot evil . and a lot like not myself . oh by the way . i really cant help it . is it my fault one of my classmates is also a member of phoenix1 ? he is convincing me to come back . well it is very tempting . phoenix1 and opusdei . 2 guilds of different schools trying to make a connection for the good of both guilds . but i have a feeling if i go back i will be very lonely . its not healthy for me to even be there . with all my stalkers and all that . will my guildmates not very open to new members . its like the only ones who always talk in the ally chat are the seniors . its like ive got no right to talk because of me being new . im not like joshua guanco . he is very friendly and came to be friends with the guildmasters first before becoming a member . its all my blah blah again . anyways . the real reason why im blogging is about college . well basically i have to say i saved a trait my mom has always haved . its the part where she takes things into reality by a random thought . she really is straight forward . the something i didnt have i guess ? its my sister who has that . man . im really the other end of my sister's magnetic pole . but i guess it is both good and bad . one negative is too much difference . but if i weigh it . i have to say we have a lot positive . we get along . we fill in for the needs of one another . oh by the way im sick again . im not saying again . haha ! anyway . back to the college thing . well basically it was last wednesday . i was with my special friends during lunch time . one of them will study at lyceum . another in mapua . those words shot me through . all of a sudden . my insides told me i needed to stay near the university belt as well . and i asked them to suggest a school . all of a sudden they suggested la salle . . . . BOOM haha ! to the point i didnt listen to the succeeding techers . haha . sorry x] . but i was busy planning in my head x] haha ! anyway . i still cant print my application form . haha scary >.<>

good night

~~sleepy loser

np . show me how to love .♥

the end of august

2010-08-31T18:17:00.000+08:00

ok so . i guess today is what i would say . better than yesterday . i will again believe it is one of my witty saying of tomorrow is only either better or worse . anyway . i like this day better because . yesterday . i was in the midst of crying again . i really was awfully tired . and got a sermon for a reason i dont know so . well i really felt a lot sad that day . i really dont know why . maybe because almost everyone was out of the house . and i kind of had a twinge in my heart once more . well basically . the guy from my last post didnt even bother to greet me . i miss my mom . i had a sermon and all that . i really stopped myself from crying . but my tears failed me once again . it bothers me . it annoys me to hell . i wouldnt even believe it was my birthday if the calendar didnt post the oh.eight.thirty.twenty.ten on it . dang . i really was asking god why does the calendar lie ? . but basically it wouldnt . its national hero's day . it wouldnt go wrong . its just the people around me . or maybe its just me . i know its me . i feel more than an idiot again . i hate myself . i wanted to die the same day i was born . it felt like ive got no one on my side anymore . like my friend from my last post being my partner in crime now gone . ive really got no one else to depend on like our crazy schemes . its like i need to act mature . i dont feel mature . i feel more down . i feel more worthless . adding my aunt's anger on me . ive got no one to help me . with my sister on practice that same day . i felt really undeserving to live . maybe thats why i couldnt make myself eat at yanna's house . i really love that group and our presentation :] thanks for the time guys . i really appreciate the effort of making me happy that day . but i guess i really am not a very easy person to force in to being happy . i tend to be plastic . but there are times i dont make an effort to try . it seems like its not too good to tell you im good but im really not . but there are also time i just need to fake it out to please others . well i got used to the fact people dont amuse me . i never really get amused a lot . man . i have so many sides of me i never really got to know . just this third and fourth year high school of my life . man im stupid . i guess its an effort to both parties to make me at least smile and make them believe im happy . i feel numb . and dumb . i miss some person who doesnt even miss me . haha i guess he is pushing me out of his life anyway . i need a new distraction . or maybe an inspiration . i slept in what i guess late . and woke up really sleepy . well basically i got nervous due to costumes . it was all long and unusual . i dont normally go nervous on stage plays and on stage events . i got used to the weird stage of dla . but it was good i guess :] it made me laugh a lot in front of my classmates . haha . my groupmates made us open our mouths while dancing . like the one you do while cheer dancing . we look very funnie . i really couldnt stop laughing when we talked about that on the thirtieth . all that stuff and laughing of my classmates made us smile . well i guess pascal really cant get over the f4 . haha . anyway . i really cant help but be happy also . but i didnt make the effort at joining them at taking pictures of one another . its too much tupperware to bear . its not too healthy . but it made me happy teacher lan greeted me not only in facebook but hugged me at the teachers nook :] ♥ i felt really happy she did :] normal teachers wouldnt even notice my birthday . oh sir erbert greeted me through facebook also :] that made me happy too :] but he didnt bother anymore at class . im not one of his favorites . in recitations maybe . but not those who he really hangs out with . i kinda feel jelous O.o i honestly dont know why also O.o anyway . one again i didnt like physics session . because he made us do venn diagrams . blah blah :| also in tle . sir was out again . maybe for his badminton team again . nothing new i guess ? maybe i just dont know the details . anyway . i got a new product design . haha . its hard T.T haha ! my own product design annoys me . haha . anyway . it looks better than my abstract design of the product . haha ! well it annoyed me he didnt let me join the discussion of new products for the second quarter . but what can i do about it anyway ? . so it looks entirely different . and entirely better . haha . i failed that stupid first design . haha . i wonder what our grade for filipino day is ? O.o i felt a lot better today . i guess maybe another bad one for tomorrow ? wish me luck i guess . tomorrow is wednesday anyway . its cat day . and im guessing ill remove the other event i always do every wednesday and saturday nights . anyway . i need to sleep . before i break down again . oh another song for him .

~the infatuation is always there Typecast

don't understand, what you're trying to say
no need to say it i am leaving
but don't walk away, just stay right there
i'll fall, and i'll just look at you
i'll just look at you, i'll just look at you
i'll just look at you

don't know why, i always feel like this
it's hard to breath when you're around
your big blue eyes, are driving me to sleep
the space is tearing me, i'll stay please stay
i'll stay please stay, i'll stay please stay
i'll stay please stay

words are not important, smiles are all i need from you
the yearning, is getting stronger i'm dumb
i hope you like me too

you're two tables away, and you could see me mesmerize
i wanna talk to you but i'm so scared
before i never cared, the infatuation's never there
and now it's killing me, i really hate myself
i really hate myself, i really hate myself
i really hate myself

words are not important, smiles are all i need from you
the yearning, is getting stronger i'm dumb
i hope you like me too
words are not important, smiles are all i need from you
the yearning, is getting stronger i'm dumb
i hope you like me too

im going back to typecast i guess ? its kind of senti . but i guess it fits my mood . good night . still miss my friend

~distressedloser

shoot me through

2010-08-29T22:25:00.000+08:00

before you read . note:

this blog is very self centered . . pls forgive me if you will not appreciate it

ok . so its my time to shine . and the same time to weep . well basically i feel kind of awful . and . the reason is . because . someone hates me . but he isnt telling me the truth why . so here i am supposing . that i am once more an eyesore for anyone who meets me by . its really unfair . i feel wasted . its like he just blew up our friendship . we have been through an awful lot . and its really not good that he just threw away our friendship like some kind of garbage which means i am a waste in his life . its really not good also not being without him . i like have a thousand stories to tell almost everyday . . . . but now . im blocked . and annoyed . and hurt . there is this feeling i got used to his presence . and i really cant think straight . i know in myself i did not do anything wrong to make him hate me . it feels like i lost a something once more . but this time its hard to trust if i could still find it . well i have to say . i adjusted almost my personality for every person i like to be with . like hazel garcia wanting me to be more responsible . like anthea always being at her side . also like arjone never used to having me annoyed or her hurting me . anyway . the point is . i changed because of him too . im just not sure . but some others noticed it . i know in myself there are a lot to count . i feel awful . like i was only used for a purpose . like im not a friend . anyway . i look like a toy . so why bother treat me as a person right ? i get it . thats why i was depressed . im having my self esteem lowered once more . thats why its a heart break . tsk . this is more than bitch slap . weit . what am i talking about . he's a guy . tsk . such a loser once more . wrecked body . i feel distorted . rawr ! i have to say . for me . he has no right to block me from his friend list . from his life . well basically there are a lot of things . and memories we promised and care for . man . this is so unfair for me . breaking everything we have . even connections . its like im a stranger to you once more . like . argh i dont know where to put myself in your life anymore . well basically i used think in myself that . you will be one of the persons in my life that i will not forget about whatever happens . like comrades not moving without the other . but i guess i was just an illusion . not a something you will need someday . just a paper to right on for today . a note you will need for a period of time . and a paper you will throw away someday . i feel that i dont want to be recycled by someone else . its really depressing to think that . i cared for you and you will treat me like this . im guessing we wasted our time together . the small and big events we done . our simple joys and glorious hours . every achievement . disregarded . what a simple answer of rejection . for a very deep meaning of friendship for me . typecast is piercing me to the bones . ill just put the lyrics if i have to . haha . ill just put it later maybe . ahm . im guessing i am very redundant by now . still . it hurts to think . the person you have always trusted and gave up a lot of time for to be together with pushed you away from his life like junk . my heart hurts :[

~boston drama Typecast

Standard pick-up lines that seems to wreck your bones
Can this be a sequel of my dying hope?
Chasing down a never ending make-believe
But you're a perfect match of consistency

Will you come back in a heartbeat?
Don't be confused of what a great thing we could be
We'll take a walk on the same street
Can you tell me how Boston is like without me?

You're image is stamp beneath the insides of my heart
Now you're gone I don't know where to start
The evidence is showing like a stable apprehension
But you're the only one who's apt for this affection

~my heroine Silverstein

the drugs began to peak
A smile of joy arrives in me
But sedation changes to panic and nausea
And breath starts to shorten
And heartbeats pound softer.

You wont try to save me
You just want to hurt me and leave me desperate.

You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine.

You won't leave me alone
Chisel my heart out of stone
I give in everytime.

You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine

I bet you laugh
At the thought of me thinking for myself (myself)
I bet you believe (bet you believe)
That I'm better off with you than someone else

Your face arrives again
All hope I had becomes surreal
But under your cover's
More torture than pleasure
And just past your lips
There's more anger than laughter
Not now or forever will I ever change you
I know that to go on I'll break you, my habit

You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine

~~disregardedloser

chore problem O.o

2010-08-21T15:56:00.000+08:00

annoyance once more prevails my insides . it annoys me once more that my aunt shouts all over the house at the top of her lungs . trying to annoy us all . well i can say i can do all of that . if . for one . she would make a list and just shut up . number two . let me do what i want FIRST . then ill do her chores . even her lecturing . it looks like she is cursing with a voo doo doll in hand . freaky O.o . haha . with my personality . i know i need to take care of my hair fall now x] haha ! i might see a real shaman x] haha . or maybe . my cough would kill me first x] . haha . anyway . i have to say . i have lots of fans and its scary now O.o seriously . ran isnt very good at times . people think its good to just stalk somebody they dont even know personally . its both annoying and scary . well basically ill just pretend i have a boyfriend in ran x] minus problems x] anyway . i have to say some thing first O.o i know in myself i can do house chores . but . i really like the feeling of cleaning a house when i do it with no one is talking and maybe [just maybe] i would like to do that stuff alone . maybe like the summer 2 years ago . it was always just me and my sister in this house . it made me feel at ease to clean house . with no one shouting and making me do what they want . i like the feeling of i pick up things with my own will and not someone directing me to do it so . oh ! haha i have an observation . but its kind of evil . haha . well basically i think that it is my aunt and her aunt's behavior to mutter things to themselves . its really weird . and basically not good to the ears . -____- anyway ill blog maybe later . need to do a reaction paper i guess O.o

loves

~distressed :]

im back '

2010-08-14T22:07:00.000+08:00

ok so my im really back to blogging . ive got a new perspective now . i guess i dont need to make my blog posts too long . it actually causes me to stop . so for now on . ill just post whatever and whenever i feel like stopping . i actually deleted lots of drafts . i get so bored and just delete them . and im guessing . its kind of a waste . this blog is made for me to express anyways . so ill just pin it to that . so anyways . yesterday was august 13 2O1O . the day when i first made my blog post here in blogger . [it just popped out of my head] so happy anniversary . i guess O.o anyways i guess its not always friday the thirteenth the scarily unlucky day . its really kind of happy :] i guess i dont want to elaborate more . but i dont feel anymore . so anyways . friday was really lovely for me . and today was really tiring . :| i feel my body all the way exhausted . i almost feel sick . but i kind of thank god i dont get my body temperature high here in this house . well basically its 12 and my head hurts more . haha . stupid me . so today ive got cat and i am really not in the mood to study today because of the cat . oh btw . i kind of slept on the afternoon . thats new O.O and oh ! a few days ago we got a package from italy . we have new games for nitendo ds ;] well we kind of call it DSP . my baby sister kind of mixed PSP and nitendo DS . its kind of cool . you call call either of the 2 dsp x] anyways . i feel kind of wasted . really . my eyes head and throat hurt . and i have again the feeling of not being important . haha . im such a loser . haha . dang . i suddenly forgot everything im supposed to blog about maybe its just too deep in the night and my head feeling sore . i guess ill just try to blog tomorrow . i love you blog ^_~ miss you ♥

literally

~distressed

a total

~loser

blah blah : kesha

2010-05-31T02:22:00.000+08:00

i srsly cant think of anything good to blog . well basically . im pissed . with 2 people out there . well basically they wont be reading this anyway . and im just putting a period that im pissed . and oh yeah . i remember . my playlist keeps repeating . we the kings . it doesnt annoy me . the other morning it was charice . well anyways . i think i really need money control @_@ well basically my palms are itching again . im wating and CRAViNG for :

★july 2 2O1O

★november 19 2O1O

★the frog umbrella

★my new stabilo ballpen set

★thesis

★graduation >> i get to be with mom

haha . im getting a bit demanding but thats what i want right now . and to be fair lets put the things i DONT want x] :

★sir lino for trio . dang . its good to have him as a teacher . but can i get a go with serbs ? x.x

★haircut

★cut my fingernails . this is a democratic country . dang

★get thinner

★PROM ! DANG IT !

well basically i kind of hate my physical body . i look like a zombie now . i like can sleep in the morning . dang i need to sleep early . for peeps sake . i hate being hapontukin haha . we are not getting any taller guys ! look its 2:39 am in my clock right now . tsk . oh btw . i wont reveal what the 2 dates where . google can ;] haha ! oyeah . i guess i really need supplements now . and stress tabs haha . my new best friend haha . i have 3 reasons and 3 reasons alone to hate summer . well basically its el niño and im hating every hell second of it . second i dont have a single cent on me now . except the expenses made for ran . shhhh -____- and third is this not getting healthy thing im doing . its all in one . not eating right . not sleeping at the right time and not exercising my body . well basically this 4'1O" SMALL girl and the more or less 38 kilogrammed bitch might shrink . impossible for the height . but the weight is . god im turning to bones -____- . better be stoned than boned -____- . god . whats wrong with me ? im getting slower and slower in making this blog . i feel this is too short than my older ones too . and it took me shorter periods of time also . god . maybe because of the birthday craze . this is damned i guess . im changing format of this blog . im going back to my blog and tumblr . and i mean it . *period* tsk . i guess im really used to leisure . i guess i grew up with it . it really annoys me when i dont get what i want . which is also annoying . tsk . and maybe i need to really to sleep early . grrr next topic -____- well a few hours from now . me and the hundreds of students of dla *rich kids* will know what rooms we will be assigned and who are the persons we will backstabb . annoy . enjoy and share those stupid 5 cornered rooms . well basically i miss the 2 aircons of dla . x] but im not going there later . im broke . and thats stupid . i can just look at the online posts . anyways my headphone is dead . joke its broken . haha idk anymore . haha . what the hell . damn got to sleep its 3:30 .

love yah ;]

~distressedloser

little distressedloser is back ;]

2010-05-28T02:56:00.001+08:00

ok so i cant help it x.x i need to be productive x,x i am so totally getting hooked on some nutty mmorpg game . tsk . anyways its not my fault my mind is searching more than what it is provided with . well basically its not your fault i got hooked ;] haha oyeah . anyways . at least i achieve things i did not expect . i now have shoulders to cry on . i have friends to laugh at and guffaw back at me . [oyeah guffaw] haha . well the thing is i think i really need my blog back . staying at an mmorpg game means risking your own english skills x]] which is kinda bad . haha who cares . my english is always better when i hear it rather than type it . well basically my hands are always berserk . which means more typo done than intended . well basically im blogging because . its 3:oo in the morning and i cant take my mind off the mmorpg game . which is kind of bad . well basically im gonna be a graduating student in less than 3o days from now . and i guess later today . i will have a peek of the list of students that i will be sharing a four cornered [5 rather] room . well basically . i am still wishing we would stay at the third floor rather than the fourth . well . my legs are too short . and with my now smaller stomach . i need all the energy contained in my small body . well basically . in the 6o day alloted time for change i have done for myself . the change did not progress rather it deteriorated . man . i miss my dictionary . well basically my head is now sleepy but my mind tells me to make this blog . in which i will wake up again late . well . it is kind of bad for me to be blogging this time of the day . . . nevermind . i used to make my older blogs this time of day also . anyways . i am STiLL currently annoyed at the people whom of which i have trusted my dear itouch loves . in which i presume is now visible with damages . well it is clear of evidences x,x hate it . i now also should listen to teacher aida

be wise as a serpent . be meek as a lamb

you really cant help but trust somebody you trusted then . it is also depressing to listen to the fact that . you trusted something precious to somebody and then again they dont treat the same respect to the object you consider dear to your self . anyways . online movavi is a loser . it is so slow . its so boring i dont have my own converter . sucks . anyways . im guessing . from one of my previous post . super previous post centering about cory aquino and marcos and all that stuff . well basically . her son . noy noy i guess will be the next president . talk about monarchy . well basically i think filipinos chose something they are not sure of . they are only imitating what they think is on trend . and i am guessing . it is a bad habit of filipinos . speaking of bad habits . i also noticed on tv . the reality show . it is quite bad that filipinos have the habit of speaking destructive criticism about one another behind each others back . well basically i think it is good if it is constructive criticism behind one persons back rather than the negative one . well it is true . and i cant deny the fact that most people . including myself do so even if it is not on purpose . well i realize that and i hate the fact that i cant help myself from doing so it is also quite annoying after i realize so . i am now developing my mind of erasing ill thoughts about others . . . which is VERY hard . considering the people i live with . i cant help but think ill of them also . considering the fact i live with them and know all their secrets . it is VERY hard not to think ill of them x.x anyways . i have a confession . i cannot reach the very bottom of my facebook page anymore x]] haha ! i have so many wall to walls with a lot of persons by now . haha ! i can only imagine how many notifications i have . haha ! well basically i checked my mail earlier this morning to find out 2000+ mails only from facebook O_+ and i only got 5 from ebay ! O_+ god facebook . i guess im really social ;] haha ! jokes x] anyway . the other night . me and my mumu [juliuz] knew that some of the people he trusted . was basically . . . unreliable . we kind of decided to change his pass . but the only way to do that is to reset . we kinda started all the drama he wouldnt see his avatar anymore and all that . and i was guessing he laughed his gut out when he got his new password . it was kind of weird . his account was blocked for about a minute or two . haha . whats funny was all the drama . anyways . i would like to share this cute stuff i got from the mmorpg game i am totally hooked on :

well basically i kinda realize that . that cute weapon is now precious . i cant even make myself upgrade it . haha . cant make myself risk x.x haha the thing that makes this precious is the fact it was so hard to hunt this thing x,x haha ! and now . i have 4 more wands in mind x] haha ! im kind of laughing at my avatar at time . well basically . i never had a set . and only experienced 2 +7 x] haha ! the stupid shadow staff and the playful thunder wand . i really loathe shadow staff now x] haha oh yeah . the 4 wands that are on my hunt list

★poker wand

★fly trap wand

★deadly spirit wand

★quinlun staff

well i never thought i would dream of that quinlung staff but here it is now on my hunt list . im after the hp haha . the dsw im after the attack . well basically they are turning me into an attack type now . tsk . well as goes for the poker wand . i guess that will only be a dream x] haha ! that one is way out of my league haha . fly trap ? i just need luck i guess . and i need to have patience . couz im getting annoyed at the brawlers . that is the class i am really annoyed at i guess . tsk . i am wishing only a few gamers would see this x,x haha i dont want to spread the word about my destroyed little build . haha i wish my preferred build would work x,x lets keep our fingers crossed and see how my non set little character can last the game haha . at least i know i can tank the macho astral and crimson swordies on rh ;] haha . and i can lure ;] oyeah haha . oh my gosh ! its 4 in the morning O_+ got to sleep haha . im going to have a little party in s3 tomorrow . and by the way . whoever can read this . lets support dj tado for hurado ! oyeah haha ! lets delete that nutty prescilla haha . i totally spaced this afternoon and forgot to open the radio again x.x well basically i dont have a radio . i dont have my cellphone . my sister wont give it back . it is quite annoying . i would really enjoy my summer with my phone but basically her phone got missing in this house under my name . quite annoying , QUITE . its not my fault jejemon wanted to do something with her phone . anyways i really need to control myself from typing bad things . grrr . i miss my phone . i miss brewrats . i miss school . i miss sleeping early . speaking of sleeping early i really need to go x.x before my mind changes . by the way . this blog is quite smaller than my previous ones x.x its really sad . i really need to be active now that im back to blogging . ill keep in touch ;]

one last oyeah ;]

~distressedloser

oh ps : maybe in my next blog ill talk about the people i really appreciate in ran and maybe some ss with them ^_^

election sickness ?

2010-05-11T09:33:00.000+08:00

may 11 2o1o

i feel sick . i was bearing intolerable pain yesterday . well . i was a month late with regard my exclamation point . well basically im hating my body more and more -____- . im quite annoyed . i was supposed to make this blog yesterday . but i guess . the pain got to me before the net even got connected . well . i have loads to blog . well basically i had a dream last night that totally broke my heart . which is very weird . i dont know why my heart was broken by that . ill just keep my dream to myself -____- i dont know who reads my blog now -____- anyways . yesterday was elections . basically i was supposed to watch tv and support the candidate i idolize . its nick perlas x] im kinda sad due to the fact he didnt get the support he needed . he is an ideal candidate for me . well sad he only got 4ok+ votes . sad :[ well i was kind of really dead sick yesterday . first i just thought i was sick because of my exclamation point . next thing i knew i was vomiting all over the place . my throat was all the way dry . at the afternoon i let myself vomit unwillingly . and by the night i was forced to eat skyflakes which i knew was a bad idea . well basically it damn solid and my throat was damn dry . that sucked . i then forced myself to vomit that dry thing out of me . and my aunt thought i was forcing myself to vomit . which was true . but what can i do ? my whole body is useless and has no nutrition to replenish me . it sucked really . i already had my exclamation point to hurt my tummy then that stupid vomiting to worsen it . hmmm . let say im just talking about my tummy there . excluding my eyes that hurt also . well i was kind of crying . well . mothers day was only a few days ago . and i REALLY miss my mom . and i was also crying to God to help stop the pain all over my body . i was crying because i really hate vomiting . i rarely get sick to be honest . and when i do . its like the world is torturing my small body . its like you want to quit living . but i know in myself i need to fight it . most of the time when i get sick . i happen to be for a week or so . grrr cant stop thinking about my dream -_____- its a good thing i dont vomit anymore . i dont want to anymore . oh ! btw . i have a reason why i wanst blogging for about 4 months . well i got hooked at my old online game . ran online . im kind of bad of it now -____- im just level 168 -_____- loser me . i named it after you blog :] haha . oh yeah . ive got something to say as well . my sister called me distortedloser . haha loser sister . doesnt even know the spelling of distressed . im a damsel ;] well basically she has a blog now also :] its kind of weird . but who cares . anyone can blog . only difference is im on english forte and she's on filipino i guess . im still thinking if blogging is healthy for her . well basically it kind of brought her to trouble last time . at least i read my blog before posting and seeing if im stepping on somebody else's name . well i am not a backstabber . i may talk about some people . but i dont do it for evil . i just want to talk about them . or something like that . wow . i miss the efficiency of my fingers to just talk about this stupid damsel's life . hey ! im distressed ;] oh btw i would like to thank those who prayed for me yesterday . i just dont know if someoine did O_+ . we should always thank God for the things he makes possible and provides us mortals . we should always pray for and thank God for food . wealth . siblings . countrymen . life and love . good day guys . i wish i could feel much better now

np : the only exeption

feel the rain on your skin

2010-01-18T21:33:00.000+08:00

how i wish really . i love the rain and all . i should be singing with joy the rain fell down on my skin once more . but thus i have not been in love to this rain . this rain is the sign of my hurt and stupidity . and i have thus now know that stupidity should not be forced down the throat of reality . i am happy . yet ugly . i have thus not want to speak of the dilemma . but the predicament is there to speak for itself . i have once more broken my own heart for the safety of my own sanity . i guess it is somehow suicidal . to let the tears flow like the rain.;[

-- let the tears fall though the gashes of my distressed heart will never change . cannot find self actualization . a big faux pas . a different faux ami

frustrations

2009-11-17T18:54:00.000+08:00

ok i really need to blog . my mind cant function for english . gawdd i miss verdana x-small . i really miss my computer too . i so totally hate this . i hate everything about myself . well here is what i want to say . i really am totally annoyed with myself and everything connected with myself . well lets start with home . i guess maybe im just annoyed with home so anyways . i had another heart to heart talk with uncle dearest . i guess he is becoming the godfather i used to imagine he is . well his name is the only name i see in my baptismal certificate . well i guess i have to side with him with my cousin being a biatch . well basically she is . i hate using foul words but my head is really troublesome and i guess i just cant help it anymore . this is my outlet and i miss it and i hate that biatch for not letting me have my outlet and i get my mess everywhere . so now i can keep my mess on one place again . wow i guess im coming back to my senses and making this blog . well i dont want to be a biatch either and not express my dear annoyance [oxymoron ohh XD] well i need to blog this because i cannot restart my mind with elegy written in a country churchyard . i really hate life when i really cant express . id rather leave or fail or anything . but i really need an outlet . in school i cannot speak myself out . i cannot make everyone listen to me . well basically they just listen to themselves . well heres an insight . well i really hate some persons inside of the very room i consider as another home . well since i realized that i dont consider that place as anything but a study room now . so anyways heres the thing . i really hate pushovers who think they are the ones who people need to listen to when really they are just some other losers who really just feel like they are authority when really they arent . so going back . its not just this thing but i know behind my back they talk about me like im a burden and unneeded like a little baggage needed to be disposed of . so anyways i really dont like their attitude . getting all of the tasks needed to be done for themselves alone and telling you . you dont have anything to do while they are all stressed out . like hell ! you are not a god to get all of the tasks done with one hand and you complain to the ones who dont do anything because you guys did everything already . well . im saying im not like those too dependents but i really just hate it when you offer help and they dont accept they sometimes blame you for their fault already . wow . im getting lesser pains in my chest now . so another is for todaii . well i just learned that the 2 persons i love and respect in school [take note the only 2] are half day . well i was thinking kath wouldnt because she actually was quite happy with me during break and even took me out and dragged me to the cafeteria . well i feel like she will have a check up or something . i hope she's ok . and the other person i love and respect in school is max . well i was quite worried of him also . well he is really sick and i cant help but think of him like crazy . well it is vomiting . the thing i used to hate for one month . well i know his isnt anxiety . thats good . you really wouldnt like the feeling of having to look around you and feel the person you are waiting for isnt coming back . . . . . btw i got an anxiety attack when my dad first came back to the phils and he needed to go back to italy which caused a curse in my heart . so anyways if i were to write all the curses in my life it wouldnt fit in this very blog post . i just want my chest to open up a bit . its not healthy not having my blog around . i missed my blog well i feel a bit better . . . . . i guess at least . well its not like my old blogposts like august :[ i miss august :[

-- stop the tears from falling . need to find self actualization . stop faux pas . stop faux ami

fridaii the 13th x.x

2009-11-13T18:57:00.000+08:00

wow . so happy fridaii the 13th . . . . on second thoughts . not really happy . im really dizzy and all that stuff . it is kind of really annoying . well from all of the commotion for today its really not lucky . haha . well to be honest i just wanted to put friday the thirteenth on my blog XD haha so anyways . speaking of friday the thirteenth . friday the thirteenth is a superstition that so many bad things will happen today . one example is those unluckiness of people . for me this is a superstition not to follow . well some people really do have bad luck and some even have accidents on these days and put their blame on such days . on my opinion it is not luck . it is their own stupidity [is it me or my exclamation point or is it just random ?] well i think and know they are stupid . well how dare they blame a date ! what losers . well is it just by chance that we dont have water running down our faucets the next 3 days due to the cleaning of the tank . so i guess i dont and wont care . but it is not very healthy . well how about school ? x.x well i will go to school tomorrow . x.x how about me ? x.x so anyways today is really not a bloggable day . its just i want to focus on superstitions . well i really dont like superstitious people . i think it is a faux pas . well . you keep on getting away from black cats . friday the 13th and all those stupid stuff . i just think it is really silly and all of that . argh i need to go . i have to clean myself up . we still do not have stupid net . i really hate globe . i guess unluckiness just happen to be here . no net . no water . i can live :] ill read noli me tangere :]

-- stop the tears from falling . need to find self actualization . stop faux pas . stop faux ami

annoyance

2009-11-12T19:27:00.000+08:00

i loathe globe ! condemn them to hell ! (¬.¬) i so totally miss my comp :[ i really want to play ran :[ well my life is getting more and more miserable . well basically i dont know how to function without a computer . well basically . i really want to punch bon bryan pasuquin in the face. he really deserves it . well basically an idiot like him needs to have realization he is . well basically he is so totally a waste and he gets a laptop . well a person like him for me doesnt deserve anything . well its not my problem because of his laziness plus his stupidity got him to study at a public school . argh . and what will he do ? boast it to poor people ? and so ? some poor people are much more deserving than him really . well i am SUPER not wanting this laptop but the thing is that . i really hate his BiG MOUTH ! CANT HE JUST SHUT UP ! i like so dont care about stupid laptops . well basically i have a desktop and a laptop which will come soon [i just dont know when] but basically i dont care . but why does he boast at me ? like the hell i care . he doesnt even have a face that he can boast . well look at us tres marias unlike that ugly guy . maybe ugliness also have their positive thing . people pity them >:]] well im getting evil . . . . . . . . . well basically i am >:]]

ciao >;]

-- stop the tears from falling . need to find self actualization . stop faux pas

patapon

2009-11-03T19:24:00.000+08:00

its time to blog . well I haven't been blogging for ages . look at how few my posts are last october and september compared to last august . :[ sorii . oh yeah . maybe because of the birthday stuff . I feel more and more pathetic . well basically I made a good habit and not follow it *idiot* I want to burry myself again . how many people are reading my blog anyways ? please comment on this post if you read my posts . couz at times I really feel like an idiot feeler . I dont know if people are even reading my posts . another faux pas . btw . my fave word in the world is faux pas :] its a French word meaning 'false step' or 'social blunder' well it means the disregard or wrong manners/etiquette :] I dont know why but I feel like I want to learn french :] its a very lovely language *i guess* well . moving on . PSP iS BROKEN TT.TT . no more patapon TT.TT well share . I feel like Bon doesn't deserve a psp go . well basically he doesn't even study . it might not look like it I'm smart . but laziness takes over . i can prove it ! make me talk about algebra . nature . genetics . human psychology . codes . rubiks cube . sudoku . and even spongebob I can give you a very favorable conversation and answers while if he reaches my level [third year] or even fourth year ! he can't answer you properly . this is only basing from his mind status at grade 5 . well basically he doesn't even know what 8x7's product is ! I really dont trust him . I picture his future as a assistant . or maybe a vulcanizing boy . well I'm basing from a third year's perspective with good human psychologic analization xDD well . basically if you talk to him all he talks about is facebook cheats . bike . and going out with MY uncle ! well whatever . i dont want to go and change him . he is very hard headded . and I guess I dont want to spent time with Tito anymore . well basically I dont want to change his mind also . why does he even think like that ? saying . I dont eat regularly and is therefore "evil" *joke* "disobedient" to my dear tita . gawdd ! I cried for that real hard . well . basically I was hoping real hard . that he ! of all the people in the world would understand me . he of all the people here . prior to the fact he is not with his only child and longing for him dearly . didnt he ever think a moment or so to fully understand my situation . of how I am so not used to living with other people . as respect I dont count them as strangers . I give full respect and all . but I am so not liking the way they they always talk about me like im nothing but a slut ..... wow a bad word on my post . but basically I feel like that . they judge me as if we dont live together and they say stuff as if I am 'evil' wow . they are like claming in a traditional view from tle our topic in conflicts in business management . what more can I do ? he doesn't even know he is my godfather and even disregarded it . I'm just a stupid person who needs to be fed and whom of which is hard headded and wouldnt do so . gawdd I feel like crying again . I feel miserable again . I hate this . well now I just can say possibilility I'll have another exclamation point . I feel more stupid . well nothing new . I already am . already was stupid .

-- stop the tears from falling . need to find self actualization . stop faux pas

lessons :]

2009-11-01T20:59:00.000+08:00

[happy all saints daii ü]

wow i just came home from mandaluyong :] my old home :] i still consider it as a home . but i dont have a house there anymore XD so anyways . i noticed that i only come there if something is happening XD haha . i really miss living in that place . but i guess i dont know if i could . maybe in college or something . so anyways . at first i was really annoyed that i joined in the mass . well basically they made me join but they wouldnt even talk to me . and they even talk about me . so im really annoyed . so in order to let my annoyance put to good use . i carried iison from the 5th floor to the 2nd floor using the stairs :] haha . well i felt better after it . and what else could i do ? and so when we got back to where we were staying . i wasnt in the mood to eat again because of them . and so after they ate they lectured me again . well they said ulcer is a family sickness . and some of the elders really did die because of those reasons . well i cant help it . well the thing that really annoyed me today is they said to strangers [to me] that im afraid of gaining weight when im trying my very best to gain weight . after a few . tita just told me to go to sleep couz maybe she felt my crankiness . well i noticed just now i looked cranky XD so i slept until 4 . when i woke up my sister told tita she wants to go home already O.O like what ? O.O we havent even visited our sister yet . so anyways . we like walked towards the cemetery . like what ? i just woke up and now im walking . well whatever . its better than waiting long hours . so anyways . i like lighted up a candle for baby fatima and i like prayed and wished she take care of mama ü well after lighting the candle i saw a childhood friend looking at me . well basically he was my hero before XD haha . and i dont know why but my sister told me he was looking for me during my uncle's wake my sister told me he was looking for me O.O what ? O.O and he was drunk XD haha . manila teenagers tsktsk so anyways . he was looking . good thing we were only there for a brief period of time . and so we left . but before doing so . we met some unexpected people XD my cousin . from the father side . and a family friend whom also lives here in cavite . so anyways its just me and mikee . well its normal . so anyways . we got to buy ballpen because of the national bookstore we saw XD so after that we said we would buy food at chowking . well we really did . and after doing so i feel like singing my favorite song again X.X well i dont like their chowfan anymore . and the service is very slow . gawdd ill go back to tokyo tokyo . even if there isnt any in molino . oh yeah . tita told us to go online because mama told us to . well we waited for them really . but they got online when tita got home . so . lets go to that . well one of my exes [wow exes] added me in facebook . and i like posted on his wall . and i really had a good conversation with him :] well it is kind of nice to know that friendship is always there even if you once broke each others faces XD joke . so anyways . here is a list of

LESSON LEARNED :

★ dont join something/someone if you dont really feel like you are needed . they will only use you [sometimes]

★ its healthy to look and talk with people from the past . like childhood friends and exes . you dont realize that you miss them :]

★ the future possibilities of marga's death are : x.x

• breast cancer [haha funny just ask me personally why XDD]

• ulcer [family thing ?]

• anything that has to do with the digestive system XDD

• or maybe anl accident XDD im so prone to those things XDD

and so i end this blog again . im too tierd to tell

plans

2009-10-28T21:26:00.000+08:00

I feel hopeless . I just want to make up my mind and make plans for summer . I feel like I'm on a stand still . well plan on top of the rest . TO HAVE GOOD GRADES ! earth to marga . focus first before doing anything . well here is a list with the most probable things I would do :

• if not sec then sci math :] that would be nice :]

• learn a language . most probably self study really . maybe with friends :] they could make me focus

*italian or japanese or french :] are my probable choices :]

• learn a sport or dance . I need to be healthy :] well because I don't feel it

*vball or taekeondo or breakdance or ballet sounds interesting :]

• learn an instrument . I miss the pleasure of listening of the tones I can finally make

*piano or guitar or violin would make me happy :]

[making this blog post is just a way to make my tears go away . so just don't mind it really]

annoyance

2009-10-28T20:28:00.000+08:00

thus thou hate is kept . and mouth be sealed . for the greater good of many

I hate thinking of this quotation . its really not healthy . I hate tita . my shoulders shiver with thou hatred . I know that people would find this unusual due to the fact that it is not in my nature to hold hatred . BUT WHO WOULDNT BE ANNOYED ? cmon ? look at her shouting all the time . I hate impatience . I hate noise 。I really don't like the fact that she is like that . well heres the thing . she always shouts at her own child . which I know happens almost all the time . and I don't care really . I just really hate the fact that me and my sisters name is always brought up . like THE HELL ! I like so hate you ! she always says:

wala aco mautusan dito ! nakakahiya naman sa kanila . wala sila ginagawa

like THE HELL ! I really don't like the fact she does that because well basically she doenst ask for help . and the fact she would backstabb us and would now even *parinig* DANG ! my confushian belief is being toggled again . what can I do ? I'm so fed up with her also . I really get annoyed with people with big mouths . why can't they just be like my mom ? just approaching you and asking you to do a favor for her . to do this and do that . and my mom would really wake up very early for us . she wakes up at about 5 and SHE would wake up at 6 so see the reason why nowadays we get to be late ? my mom would even help me search for facts about mesopotamia . my mom let's me do and not do chores . that is why I can't function with her concept . I am crying again . I'm so stupid . and silly . I'm annoyed with myself . but what can I do if I can't cope up and move on ?

[wow my eyes are red again . a cocroach bit me again xD]

confusionism

2009-10-23T19:59:00.000+08:00

[: hapii 2o kevxtine :]

mahaba pa ian :]

is it me or something wrong is happening inside me ? i think and do know something is really wrong . well basically . my head is getting more and more unhealthy . well its not just because of my perverted brothers and sisters [curie] [wow brothers and sisters XD feeler :[ ] but i guess its just me . i wonder why in the world would he need to be one of my brothers ? well basically why would God let me see his face everyday ? i get this . . . malevolent feeling all over me . its not that i dont like being around him but looking at him makes me feel odd . i get this feeling with i dont know what . i need to think straight . and i know i dont need that so called keep away from . well argh ! i cant explain . well talking to xtine f i remembered her little message from last year . those small pieces of paper we need to give away to friends . whom of which she send to every lamarck person there is and it struck my head hard again well i know who i am . but i dont know what and how to express how im feeling . i can interpret the thoughts and emotions of others while i myself cannot identify mine :[

explaination of exclamation

2009-10-13T13:21:00.001+08:00

is menstration a hindrance for self control ? gawdd x.x i noticed i am so not myself these days . what is so totally happening to me ? well . menstration has positive and negative effects . lets breakdown the negative . well . first and foremost . WHY AM i BLOGGiNG ABOUT iT! O.O i am weirded out . but who cares ? i just want to blog . so whatever to the readers who wont read it because it is all about the female human cycle XDD so anyways . another negative effect is that i have dysmenorhea . well that is the very thing why i hate having exclamation point [oh yeah . that is the exclamation in the previous blog] during our health last time . teacher told me that dysmenorrhea is a sign of unhealthiness . it is very weird in the sense it is also is kind of true . well tita was always saying "that's what you get . you dont eat at the right time and you skip meals" well i have to be honest it is true and the fact that i cant help but not eat when im not in the mood due to the people i am with and the fact that i dont eat with the people that i am annoyed with . well i have to be honest and i wouldnt like to clang my plates just because of annoyance of the person who is within reach . i really dont like not being in control . so anyways . i also hate the fact that i become emotional . well i noticed that 2 days before my schedule i literally cried inside the room . i bursted out into tears due to emotional breakdown . well here is what i was thinking of or the reason i cried:

• bad grades

• i miss my mom

• im annoyed at the knowledge of having saturday classes

i am really awful these days . i guess i need mental space :[

EXCLAMATiON !!! [part2]

2009-10-10T23:23:00.000+08:00

[Tagalog zone . hindi co kaia to . maxado nakakainis]

GRABE ! SiNO BA NAMAN HiNDi MAAASAR ? computer na kakaaios pa lang sira na ? UTANG NA LOOB ! kung kelan aco na ang HEHERAM [PASENXA ! HiNDi SAKiN EE !] kelan pa nasira . diyos co x.x ano to ? disaster number 2 ? hindi co na nga *hinihiram* sinisira pa nila . aiao co na nga ! baka ano pa masabi co dito sa blog na to . ~_~

EXCLAMATiON !!!!

2009-10-10T18:29:00.000+08:00

i can't stand it ! I need to blog ! ...*calm down*... I feel like making a list of what happened todaii

a small rundown :
• I have satudaii classes for 3 consecutive weeks
• I didnt have lunch because basically the person who woke me up didnt make any food for me
• out of the blue I got an exclamation point [ask me what it is in plurk]
• I have pains due to that annoying point
• I am kind of annoyed also [effects tsktsk]
• so it also counts that I am annoyed of the fact that someone had to dental on the day I had that annoying exclamation point
• don't say I am also annoyed of the fact I had to wait for kath when really i was going to go home alone
• and now I am also annoyed of the fact that my cousin is still allowed to use the computer even if she is a so total witch
• am also thinking if I got my masochistic personality from my aunt

gawdd I hate exclamation point . see why ? go figure darn . gawdd oh yeah I'm on itouch so I'll just post this and try to do another blog

nakababagot no more xD

2009-10-03T11:54:00.000+08:00

haha here i am in imus . it is kind of odd though . im home alone at the moment . well tita went out to the doctor . well i wasnt expecting that . but maybe that is the reason why we are here in the first place . so anyways . its just me and spongebob mode . i dont have a choice . well as if i can stop tita from going to the doctor or something . well i dont know if i have loads to share but here goes . well ill first share about the recollection . well i cried that day . well basically you would know the reason really if we are that really close . well i only have one person in the world who can really make me cry [exept god and mother nature for being the fact of not being humans] is my mom . well when i was a kid only she can scare me really . and she once told me that i should not be afraid of this . afraid of that . and of course i wouldnt . well share . michaella is the scaredy cat while im her sister saviour . so anyways . well it is kind of sad really . i still remember the day she needed to go to italy . it was june 8 . 2 days before my plurk nirvana . and the day after brent's birthday celebration . well i was crying on the way home after brent's birthday celebration . and well tito told my mom really . and i was crying also when my mom fell asleep already . well my sister said that she shed a tear . but she said it was better than shedding non . i also cried last august so hard my eyes were swollen . almost everyone noticed . i kept quiet about it but who knows . it was my fault really . i guess i needed that slap in the face real hard if i needed to eat healtily . well kuia ivan just complimented me i was getting slimmer . well heres the thing . tita told me a few weeks before that i was getting fat . so which is true ? o.O and oh yeah . i guess i really dont like taking pictures nowadays . well when we were in mendez this week . they kept on taking pictures while i noticed that i myself was really not in the mood to do so . what is with me . and oh yeah . i also had rounds of . . what i should say discriminations . well it was not too negative really . but it peirced right through me . it was kind of sad really . but also true so i dont really need to look at it negatively couz i know they only did that for my good . exept the part that they were drinking x.x it made me dizzy too x.x so anyways i try to eat as much as possible now . i dont want tita to worry about me too much now . well basically that was kind of the reason why my eyes got swollen in the first place . well lonely as ever . i feel left out really . in school . im not a loner really but we are so quiet together that you cant help but feel lonely from time to time . i love anthea's company . but sometimes we become too quiet . haha all of a sudden i want to bring spongebob everyday to school xD haha . just for the sake of not being too lonely ee ? so all of a sudden i like this borrowed computer . . . . . what ? o.O well this is apple . so what is weird ?

borrow xD

2009-09-29T19:32:00.000+08:00

nirvana ! i finally got a chance to borrow a computer . well basically i cant borrow michaella's laptop . well . the computer has just been destroyed . well its not my fault . it is very annoying . well me and tito will try to repair it tomorrow . well its kinda unfair . well basically im not using it already and i have to be the one to be responsible of reviving it . well picture it out for peeps sake ! well it really annoys me to death . so anyways i still dont know what to do . well tito and i discovered the hard wares and stuff are either broken or dusty . well i dont know what to do now . i guess ill just work with tito tomorrow about it

well here is the real reason why im blogging . to share things about mendez and our stay here XD

well lets start from the beginning .well my first plan was joining curie in their quest in surprising our dear ADViSER a warm happy birthday . well i dont know if it was still a surprise to her or anything but i was sure they had fun well heres the thing . instead of joining dear curie . i was going to mendez because of a burial :[ well it is really sad :[ considering the fact that the person who just died is very dear to our hearts :[ well we were supposed leave and go to mendez at about 8 in the morning . but it just so happens me and my insan woke at 8 xD so anyways . anyhow we just went and do our self routine . well i was kind of fast xD . it was less than 1o minutes xD [well almost all the next days was kinda like that xD] so anyways i also packed my stuff i didnt do so the previous day xD so anyways the next thing i knew was that we were going to catch a ride from our cousins xD haha so anyways it was kind of a long wait couz their car crashed xD well they didnt share how it got repaired xD so anyways well we got the ride at about 1o xD haha it was kind of long xD when i couldve joined curie :[ well it was kind of raining and when it rains [song ? XD paramore ! xD] i really dont like going out and doing stuff out of the house . even if i dont feel anything when i sleep . i like the feeling of sleeping when it rains . and oh yeah it wakes me up xD couz it sometimes become too cold for me to bear xD so anyways i forgot what time we got there but it was surely cold :& haha so anyways i was *emo in the revo mode* xD haha so anyways my insan was teasing me that xD so anyways when we got there we went to their house [a house in mendez almost next to the st agustine church] we rested and left our bags and tried to clean and repair the house because there was a storm called ondoy [ondoy ! haha xD miss that person xD] and went to the other house . so anyways the other house is where the burial is . so anyways oh yeah we kind of dont have any electricity due to the very strong storm . and oh yeah i left all my chargers on the other house . so heres the thing i kind of let my younger cousins play with patapon :] haha i so totally love that game :] and i didnt save xD haha they were just playing and not winning x.x so anyways i let them play with it until it ran out of battery xD so anyways a few moments after the psp crashed they decided to use a generator as a respect for our dearly beloved . and oh yeah . the tres marias [me michaella and bakla] and kuya kevin are in good conversations xD well we now realize how we are of same age mate :] [haha tle XD] so anyways we hang out with him all day . haha and so the lights returned :] haha ill just skip this day xD i cant remember everything . but here is how me and michaella got home . well it was with kuya kevin xD haha just getting out of the house you will really feel the cold breeze xD ! my legs were shaking ! XD ! haha and we really felt the cold water on our legs ! XD it was like cold water with ice :& XD haha so anyways when we got there michaella got to use the comp longest . well obviously . and oh yeah i just used it for a few minutes .

[next day : sunday]

so heres the catch i cant remember anything ! XD ! haha . weit joke . i just recalled . so here it is . i remember not wanting to take a bath due to the cold weather XDD haha so that was embarrassing xD but i did ! x.x ! |>.<| haha so anyways i took a bath after insan . i dont want to be the first . haha its a good thing they have a heater xD even so its still felt cold x.x so anyways well the reason they wanted us to take a bath so badly was because we need to go to a baptismal xD [oh yeah i forgot . we ate at a birthday party the day before] haha so many happenings in just 2 days xD a storm . a birthday party . a baptismal . a burial . and a wedding ! XDDD :]] so anyways XD we also kind of had a VERY short trip to heaven este tagaytay XD so also on the way to tagaytay we had a small trip to heaven XD joke . well there was a fog xD it was cute . and it also gave me a headache :& so anyways . we went to robinsons . well the other tres marias [from the other family : insan jhonna . her couzins wise and mae/marie] went to the cr couz wise was kind of really wanted to pee . so anyways our tres marias went up with kuya justin . ate julianne and ate karen on the elevator xD :] [ate karen . wise and mae are from our cousins other cousins . from the other side :] ] we took pictures and i think ate karen did something at robinsons . and so when the other tres marias came up on the elevator . it was leaving time xD haha our background with the pictures was the fog xD haha and so the tres marias [other] kinda got closed xD haha so they went up another extra floor xD haha poor them xD haha and when it was going down we took also the ride xD haha and few shots XD haha and so on the way home there was still a fog xD haha . also skip the day xD and at night we were kind of finding food xD we dont have any dinner xD and so we went to tagaytay again to eat at mcdo ! XD i love that place xD haha . XD we have a secret xD bon didnt join XDD haha shhh this is our secret XD haha and so after that we went to the burial and stuff and when we went back to the house we stayed at . we also felt like buying ice cream xD hahahaha xD and so rich mode XD we even have cones from 711 and ice cream from mini stop XDD haha . and so poor bon xD couz he is with f4 *slash* wonder pets XD haha us wonder girls just called them that for fun xD

f4 *slash* wonder pets : [the girly girl club xD]
. bon
. aira
. patricia
. maurice
wonder girls :P
. iiison :]
. bakla [nikki]
. michaella
. jhonna
. me
XD we love naming them xD

[next day : mondaii]
haha oh yeah share . michaella accidentally kind of thought that we were leaving for home xDDD haha and so todaii is really the day we leave for home . well oh yeah . ate julianne and kuya justine will stay over :] haha well ate jhonna wanted to tag along but our dear tita doesnt have anyone to stay with . well it was kinda sad :[ but we dont have any choice . and so . we left at 6 something . it was already late for us . but guess what ? we came here at about 6:45 xD kewwl xD haha and oh yeah . we dropped off ate julianne to a hospital in molino . i dont know the name . but its surely here xD haha and so . i slept almost all morning when we came back XD haha and oh yeah we got to use the new foam we got XD haha . and so . the room we sleep at looks like a haven for me now :] its really cute :] and so when it was afternoon we kind of needed to fetch ate julianne couz she doesnt know how to come to our house through commute . couz she also is a car person xD haha and so michaella also went to withdraw . and get a new pair of eye glasses . at first i was like . is she gonna be mad at me or something ? but she didnt . phew :] haha and so . when ate julianne came . she told me to come with her to the national bookstore . couz she wants a new pocket book . addict XD haha and so . i kind of got a glimpse of the new cover of princess diaries again XD and so i told mikee and she pulled me back to national bookstore xD haha and so . we now have conclusions it is either we follow that book cover or the old one :]

[todaii]

free daii at last ! well supposed to be i was gonna fetch spongebob yesterdaii . but . i didnt have the chance to . and so . todaii is the perfect day . but i guess i didnt wake up early enough XD haha xD when i woke up and looked at my itouch which was located outside the room it was 7:3o something ! O.O panic mode ! i was so shocked ! O.O well i like rushed through the air ! XD joke . i like took a bath xD and when i looked at the time it was 7:43 not fast enough ! O.O after that i got everything i needed . rushed downstairs . muffled my teeth and got sermons of my habit of putting all my things in my pocket . well i hate bringing small bags and stuff . and so . i was like . go me ! and i like rushed also on the way to hikos house ! i like told him i wanted him to come . and so super walk ! . i got to his place at 8:o4 ? not fast enough ! adrenaline ! i need air ! no i need to speed up ! and so . while on the way to school i was really thinking hard and biting my lips actually . well i now realize that i am somehow afraid of being late . maybe it comes with my nature of being shy . dunno . bianca is always late to school . nevermind . and so . when i got there teacher chris was actually later than me ! O.O i like payed to ganda.tirjir [teacher mich] and i was like so totally bummed out also . well you were in a hurry and all that to find out that the person you actually need to pay unto is actually much more late than you [super annoyed] and so it doesnt show . i just played patapon out of my annoyance . well on the way home [well to hikos place really] we like walked with annaflor . and she like needed to go back home couz her slippers were kind of destroyed xD oh yeah our topic was about ela week . and when she left hiko was so totally teasing me . and out of all my annoyance that day . i kind of showed him i was annoyed at him rather than the other thing that happened to me . well it was later when we parted ways when i realized it was really just hunger . lack of sleep and annoyance . argh ! im so stupid x.x well i cant really do much to change thing . but i feel so awful :[ and so . we have recollection tomorrow . hope it'll be a success :] and i know i wont have a glimpse of hiko tomorrow :[ but even so . i just want to say how much i love him and i would do anything for him :] love you :] and im still awfully sorii of my behavior :[