i wasted 4 hours waiting infront of some stupid stupid hospital lane only to find out the check up took us no less than a minute . and we had to leave . i wasted time like hell in manila earlier . i was forced to wake up early today . to the extent of a 5 minute shower to come early . i was so damned . i guess this is really the saddest christmas i would spend in my life . i am wishing i was like the guy from 'the man who cant be moved' . well basically i cant . first . im too weak and too sensitive to feel like stone . im a cry baby . i loathe myself . i loathe how i run my life . i seriously hate myself . argh ! for the third time . i despise myself . i freakin do . how can i dare like myself when all reasons tell me not to .
oh darling i wish you were here
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