i miss my mom

i therefore conclude . i suck at making blogs . haha . well basically . i saw 2 blogs from my school that are seriously worth reading . and are real literature . mine is almost like a journal i guess . its not like im in love like them . they always have a sure reader or something . im trying my best to not get jealous . haha . who am i anyways ? i dont see my own worth . btw this blog is a day late couz i talked to my virtual brother . he told me a lot . it really fun to have him around . and its really cute to have a guy tell you a KV story . its very unlikely he told me the story . and yet he knows that i would always listen to his stories . how i wish he is a real brother of mine :| btw . im guessing im saying goodbye to ran online ? i now quit on trying to make it work on windows 7 . i know i can but i really dont want to anymore i guess . its just . i dont know . well im currently playing dragonica and the funny thing is . its not very entertaining as much as ran . well . i guess its time to uninstall it . i really dont stand a chance . im still a nutter when it comes to computer . i get a feeling this day is wasted as well . seriously dont like feeding my boredom with games anymore . i dont have a pen to use to write my notes yet . haha im such a loser . i didnt even have a leatherette to finish my project . im such a loser . im dead bored i guess . i freakin dont have anyone to talk to during weekends . maybe thats why i hate it so much now . i miss someone who always used to talk to me during my free time . anyways . i am a no one to him now . i take that as a fact and accept fate couz its my freakin fault . btw yesterday bhez decided i walk her home . to my house . couz after so she will go to Eugene's house . when she told me she needed my guide . someone unexpected decided to join as well . he is basically the person who always want to sit next to me . and decided to want to walk with me as well . haha its weird . what i just typed was so wrong couz basically he already danced with me . im so freakin stupid ¬.¬ . i really dont know but i really wish hope he isnt like the others before him . or maybe im just really not worth anything . here goes my low self esteem again . i talked about it with my virtual brother yesterday . and maybe he's right i just need a someone to take care of my freakin world . i am now seriously afraid of trust issues . and i am also afraid of myself now . i know and i get the feeling i am a very horrible person whenever i am alone or something . i really dont get myself . a huge part of me tells me that i need to go and trust other persons while another tells me i dont matter to them and i just need to keep hold of myself and keep everything to myself . my happiness . my stories . i get the freakin feeling no one is really going to listen to me but my blog . no one looks at my blog . i know . based on my stat as well . i just . i dont know . i need someone that trusts whatever i freakin do and doesnt complain who im with . maybe thats all i want for now . maybe i also need a someone who will seriously wait for me for 2 years . i hope he's the one :3

totally random

damsel'dloser