adventitious .

ok so i am still an epic fail . but editing my blog was fun . at least i did something that made sense . anyway . i still feel incomplete . i want to do a lot of things yet i still feel hindered by an invisible force field . and its freakin not magnetic ~.~ i am guessing my head is currently not over princess diaries yet . i seriously want to finish the whole set now . well . michael moscovitz is kinda interesting . haha . i am compelled i guess . i never encountered a michael moscovitz scenario before *senior-freshmen relationship* but i do know it does happen . i guess its kinda normal to the american society . well my reading books and watching movies show me a lot of those anyways . but here in the phils ? its kinda not normal . so as to say . filipinos are more of the same age line . that is based on my observations . well i have encountered once an unlikely couple . a 25 year old guy and an 18 year old gal . its kinda weird . i guess its out of custom . yet its acceptable by law . i guess i really should stick to teenage drama genre . its weird reading about old people when your mind is totally on being a kid . im totally gonna miss this . all this free time i guess . ill be on being busy next year . im not sure . at least im expecting to get a lot of work overload on my desk . i do that now . i will do that as well next year . i have a right to prognosticate ~.~ deal with it ~.~ btw i miss having practices . i dont need to worry i guess . couz we have a new one next week . but its different . wait . its different . but i think they have something in common . im just guessing . i used to think that . i would hate practicing for prom because i'd hate the said event . but to my unfortunate expectation . its one of the best nights i had on my life . but i think this is a lot different . after this event . there would be nothing after it . our very close and whole batch is about to disperse into other colleges . we are about to let go of one another and move on . i seriously think moving on is the hardest part . im just guessing . it would not come as well . well i could . couz i dont feel like i belong anyways . but they would always feel like something is missing . they need one another anyways . im guessing ill be living on my own next year . i will be a stranger to everyone else next year . *grr here comes the drama again* . at least now i dont get to spend 1O hours in a single room pretending to like every person in the room . well im just being defensive . they dont like me . so ill try my best to not be on their way . i am what people say i am . i am an introvert and like it that way . i am kinda starting to let go of them now . well i dont have a group for physics and i wont have any anymore . i dont want to do the seatwork anymore . they dont care about me . so i will try my best to not let the hurt show anymore . what really hurt is not the part where i dont have a seatwork . what hurts most is the part where they dont bother to ask me if i have a group or not . i will just leave tomorrow a lot earlier than they will . god i am procrastinating again :| i dont want to bother . i want to have time for myself i guess . at least i dont always feel too loser when i spend my time here . i wish blogger can let me know who my viewers are ~.~ just thought of it all of a sudden . i wonder . when will my father have his foot on the country again ? its march 1 and he hasn't told me anything . i just wish he wouldn't surprise me ~.~ that'd be a bummer :| your dad all of a sudden rushing to see you without any idea he'd be coming . anyways . i hate this week i guess . i am sluggishly tired . and we had only half of the day . btw i will share . we had 3 tests today . and i slept on all of them . that is how freakishly tired i am . and i was dreaming like a weirdo alien . and they told me i was smiling on my sleep again ~.~ that happened before during physics and labs told me i looked like an angel . wait . how the hell in the world does an alien look like an angel ? freakin camouflage ? haha dang x] speaking of sleep im becoming sleepy again . haha . and i still havent accomplished anything . thats fine . NOT . tomorrow will be the test on physics ~.~ well i guess *hope* i will pass this exam . haha or else i shall weep again for physics . haha . whatever happens . i always weep for physics . some just dont notice . i weep a lot for it . i never really imagined myself weeping for a subject concerning science . maybe arithmetic . but i dont suck as much as i do with physics . wait ! i did weep for analytic geom sometime before prom as far as i can remember . i constantly keep failing . yet i understand each concept . its like my mind is deceived . i keep thinking if ive gone too stupid to fail and not graduate and not go to college and not go old and not have a family someday . man . i really should stop being too ridiculous . i feel a lot foolish . i need your attention . attention needed ~.~ yet he doesnt understand . he doesnt give me too much . he just gives me whenever he has a chance . well next year he wouldnt have any anymore . im giving him all of my attention . but he doesnt know me when im not at school or anything . like what i said earlier . i am a stranger outside the walls of our school . im guessing 2 years wouldnt happen . i should stop daydreaming by now . anyways . itouch loves is still singing paramore . like wow . since i started blogging hayley has been sining . untill now she is still isnt tired . i didnt know she had that too much song to sing . and the fact that not all her songs are here . weird ~.~ anyways i dont like hayley anymore ~.~ only harley x] well i still feel like she is too bitter to keep paramore as it was . everything has changed for them . anyway i am going back to loving my old favorite singers . like alanis moristte and natasha bedingfield . it makes me remember ma dear . i really love singing with her those songs . i still wish it was her coming here to the phils . i really miss being with her . and everything we used to do together . i really wish my mom all the best . i love her so much . and i miss her jokes as well . im learning discipline all by myself . booooring . anyway i have to go now . or else this will go on and on and on till 11 . id better stop myself before it gets worse . and im getting hungry as well ~.~ ill post tomorrow ? this is still short compared to soliloquy . and that time i was freakin sleepy already . tsk . ill do a lot of these this week . and i hope i beat soliloquy :]


--hungryloser x]