plans

I feel hopeless . I just want to make up my mind and make plans for summer . I feel like I'm on a stand still . well plan on top of the rest . TO HAVE GOOD GRADES ! earth to marga . focus first before doing anything . well here is a list with the most probable things I would do :

• if not sec then sci math :] that would be nice :]

• learn a language . most probably self study really . maybe with friends :] they could make me focus

*italian or japanese or french :] are my probable choices :]

• learn a sport or dance . I need to be healthy :] well because I don't feel it

*vball or taekeondo or breakdance or ballet sounds interesting :]

• learn an instrument . I miss the pleasure of listening of the tones I can finally make

*piano or guitar or violin would make me happy :]


[making this blog post is just a way to make my tears go away . so just don't mind it really]

annoyance

thus thou hate is kept . and mouth be sealed . for the greater good of many

I hate thinking of this quotation . its really not healthy . I hate tita . my shoulders shiver with thou hatred . I know that people would find this unusual due to the fact that it is not in my nature to hold hatred . BUT WHO WOULDNT BE ANNOYED ? cmon ? look at her shouting all the time . I hate impatience . I hate noise 。I really don't like the fact that she is like that . well heres the thing . she always shouts at her own child . which I know happens almost all the time . and I don't care really . I just really hate the fact that me and my sisters name is always brought up . like THE HELL ! I like so hate you ! she always says:

wala aco mautusan dito ! nakakahiya naman sa kanila . wala sila ginagawa

like THE HELL ! I really don't like the fact she does that because well basically she doenst ask for help . and the fact she would backstabb us and would now even *parinig* DANG ! my confushian belief is being toggled again . what can I do ? I'm so fed up with her also . I really get annoyed with people with big mouths . why can't they just be like my mom ? just approaching you and asking you to do a favor for her . to do this and do that . and my mom would really wake up very early for us . she wakes up at about 5 and SHE would wake up at 6 so see the reason why nowadays we get to be late ? my mom would even help me search for facts about mesopotamia . my mom let's me do and not do chores . that is why I can't function with her concept . I am crying again . I'm so stupid . and silly . I'm annoyed with myself . but what can I do if I can't cope up and move on ?

[wow my eyes are red again . a cocroach bit me again xD]

confusionism

[: hapii 2o kevxtine :]

mahaba pa ian :]

is it me or something wrong is happening inside me ? i think and do know something is really wrong . well basically . my head is getting more and more unhealthy . well its not just because of my perverted brothers and sisters [curie] [wow brothers and sisters XD feeler :[ ] but i guess its just me . i wonder why in the world would he need to be one of my brothers ? well basically why would God let me see his face everyday ? i get this . . . malevolent feeling all over me . its not that i dont like being around him but looking at him makes me feel odd . i get this feeling with i dont know what . i need to think straight . and i know i dont need that so called keep away from . well argh ! i cant explain . well talking to xtine f i remembered her little message from last year . those small pieces of paper we need to give away to friends . whom of which she send to every lamarck person there is and it struck my head hard again  well i know who i am . but i dont know what and how to express how im feeling . i can interpret the thoughts and emotions of others while i myself cannot identify mine :[   

explaination of exclamation

is menstration a hindrance for self control ? gawdd x.x i noticed i am so not myself these days . what is so totally happening to me ? well . menstration has positive and negative effects . lets breakdown the negative . well . first and foremost . WHY AM i BLOGGiNG ABOUT iT! O.O i am weirded out . but who cares ? i just want to blog . so whatever to the readers who wont read it because it is all about the female human cycle XDD so anyways . another negative effect is that i have dysmenorhea . well that is the very thing why i hate having exclamation point [oh yeah . that is the exclamation in the previous blog] during our health last time . teacher told me that dysmenorrhea is a sign of unhealthiness . it is very weird in the sense it is also is kind of true . well tita was always saying "that's what you get . you dont eat at the right time and you skip meals" well i have to be honest it is true and the fact that i cant help but not eat when im not in the mood due to the people i am with and the fact that i dont eat with the people that i am annoyed with . well i have to be honest and i wouldnt like to clang my plates just because of annoyance of the person who is within reach . i really dont like not being in control . so anyways . i also hate the fact that i become emotional . well i noticed that 2 days before my schedule i literally cried inside the room . i bursted out into tears due to emotional breakdown . well here is what i was thinking of or the reason i cried:

• bad grades

• i miss my mom

• im annoyed at the knowledge of having saturday classes

i am really awful these days . i guess i need mental space :[

*EXCLAMATiON* !!! [part2]

[Tagalog zone . hindi co kaia to . maxado nakakainis]

GRABE ! SiNO BA NAMAN HiNDi MAAASAR ? computer na kakaaios pa lang sira na ? UTANG NA LOOB ! kung kelan aco na ang HEHERAM [PASENXA ! HiNDi SAKiN EE !] kelan pa nasira . diyos co x.x ano to ? disaster number 2 ? hindi co na nga *hinihiram* sinisira pa nila . aiao co na nga ! baka ano pa masabi co dito sa blog na to . ~_~

*EXCLAMATiON* !!!!

i can't stand it ! I need to blog ! ...*calm down*... I feel like making a list of what happened todaii

a small rundown :
• I have satudaii classes for 3 consecutive weeks
• I didnt have lunch because basically the person who woke me up didnt make any food for me
• out of the blue I got an exclamation point [ask me what it is in plurk]
• I have pains due to that annoying point
• I am kind of annoyed also [effects tsktsk]
• so it also counts that I am annoyed of the fact that someone had to dental on the day I had that annoying exclamation point
• don't say I am also annoyed of the fact I had to wait for kath when really i was going to go home alone
• and now I am also annoyed of the fact that my cousin is still allowed to use the computer even if she is a so total witch
• am also thinking if I got my masochistic personality from my aunt

gawdd I hate exclamation point . see why ? go figure darn . gawdd oh yeah I'm on itouch so I'll just post this and try to do another blog

nakababagot no more xD

haha here i am in imus . it is kind of odd though . im home alone at the moment . well tita went out to the doctor . well i wasnt expecting that . but maybe that is the reason why we are here in the first place . so anyways . its just me and spongebob mode . i dont have a choice . well as if i can stop tita from going to the doctor or something . well i dont know if i have loads to share but here goes . well ill first share about the recollection . well i cried that day . well basically you would know the reason really if we are that really close . well i only have one person in the world who can really make me cry [exept god and mother nature for being the fact of not being humans] is my mom . well when i was a kid only she can scare me really . and she once told me that i should not be afraid of this . afraid of that . and of course i wouldnt . well share . michaella is the scaredy cat while im her sister saviour . so anyways . well it is kind of sad really . i still remember the day she needed to go to italy . it was june 8 . 2 days before my plurk nirvana . and the day after brent's birthday celebration . well i was crying on the way home after brent's birthday celebration . and well tito told my mom really . and i was crying also when my mom fell asleep already . well my sister said that she shed a tear . but she said it was better than shedding non . i also cried last august so hard my eyes were swollen . almost everyone noticed . i kept quiet about it but who knows . it was my fault really . i guess i needed that slap in the face real hard if i needed to eat healtily . well kuia ivan just complimented me i was getting slimmer . well heres the thing . tita told me a few weeks before that i was getting fat . so which is true ? o.O and oh yeah . i guess i really dont like taking pictures nowadays . well when we were in mendez this week . they kept on taking pictures while i noticed that i myself was really not in the mood to do so . what is with me . and oh yeah . i also had rounds of . . what i should say discriminations . well it was not too negative really . but it peirced right through me . it was kind of sad really . but also true so i dont really need to look at it negatively couz i know they only did that for my good . exept the part that they were drinking x.x it made me dizzy too x.x so anyways i try to eat as much as possible now . i dont want tita to worry about me too much now . well basically that was kind of the reason why my eyes got swollen in the first place . well lonely as ever . i feel left out really . in school . im not a loner really but we are so quiet together that you cant help but feel lonely from time to time . i love anthea's company . but sometimes we become too quiet . haha all of a sudden i want to bring spongebob everyday to school xD haha . just for the sake of not being too lonely ee ? so all of a sudden i like this borrowed computer . . . . . what ? o.O well this is apple . so what is weird ?