here i am . once again . deleted . haha . this sucks . it really shows how i am not valued by persons around me . so i dont need to do so on myself . i really hate marga . TRASH . i really dont blame them . she is garbage bin worthy
i wasted 4 hours waiting infront of some stupid stupid hospital lane only to find out the check up took us no less than a minute . and we had to leave . i wasted time like hell in manila earlier . i was forced to wake up early today . to the extent of a 5 minute shower to come early . i was so damned . i guess this is really the saddest christmas i would spend in my life . i am wishing i was like the guy from 'the man who cant be moved' . well basically i cant . first . im too weak and too sensitive to feel like stone . im a cry baby . i loathe myself . i loathe how i run my life . i seriously hate myself . argh ! for the third time . i despise myself . i freakin do . how can i dare like myself when all reasons tell me not to .
i have to admit my heart hurts a lot . i have tons of load on my chest . ive got loads of reasons to cry now adays . i loathe my self . ive got no one to depend on now . i feel totally lost . damn im crying infront of my pc . stupid marga . im guessing i wont finish this . ive got myself lost because of my stupid decisions . i am totally surrounded by people who are so self centered that my heart hurts thinking of how much i love them and in return i dont mean anything to them . why do they have to ask me if im fine if really i know they just want to slap on my face my mistakes and it hurts that i have to tell them when they force me . and it hurts me a lot . damn corrections . i wont look at my monitor . tears are falling at my keyboard . why does it have to be to the point i pity myself for living ? i want to move on . but im so totally tied . damn .
actually this is my for my sister's reaction paper with my work . i just want to share O.oRomeo and Juliet (Tragedy)
This story is one of the best know tragedies in the world. Made by the greatest writer in the English language, William Shakespeare. Shakespeare is known for his 38 plays, 154 sonnets, 2 long narrative poems and other poems. His early plays were mainly comedies and histories. He then wrote about tragedies and tragicomedies.
“Romeo and Juliet” is among Shakespeare’s most popular plays, along with Macbeth and Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet is a story about two young “star-cross’d lovers” whose death are ultimately unite their feuding families, Capulet and Montague.
Most stories now a days copy Shakespeare’s version of Romeo and Juliet but differ in names, places and authors. This tragedy is what people consider the original story of “star-cross’d lovers”. This story shows how the innocence of an infatuation can bring peace to their family as well as their city. The havoc of the family’s feud caused chaos in Verona. I personally think it is unfair that civilians may get harmed because of their feud. Thankfully, Prince Escalus made a decree that anyone who would destroy the peace in Verona would be exiled or is punishable of death.
Romeo met Juliet on the Capulet’s ball. He first thought of coming there in hopes of seeing Rosaline, his first love. However, Romeo instead falls in love with Juliet, the daughter of Lord Capulet. They profess their love for one another during the balcony scene. They get infatuated with one another and promised to one another to marry the next day. I think that most modern people would not fall for the opposite sex that quick but there are still some who gets infatuated as well at first sight. Most modern people would leave what they think of the opposite sex as first impression and does not fall too easily for one another. It is also too ideal that they promise to marry one another they next day they meet one another. It is almost as if they are marrying a stranger. It is also not practical to marry one another in the midst of their family’s feud. It is also too childish that they do not ask consent of their parents. I think that they should have thought over their decisions first before letting their feeling take over.
The Capulet’s kinsmen, Tybalt, sensed the presence of Montagues on the ball. He then challenges Romeo for a duel. I really didn’t get this part of the story. Is it Tybalt’s way of showing he is territorial or just plain annoyance of the fact they got through under his nose. Romeo turned down Tybalt’s challenge because he considers him as kinsman as well. Mercutio got annoyed of Tybalt’s insolence and Romeo’s vile submission so he accepted the duel on behalf of Romeo. Mercutio got wounded and Romeo got in the fight as well. Romeo then accidentally kills Tybalt. Having known of the duel, Prince Escalus exiled Romeo. Romeo then secretly spends the night with Juliet where they consummate their marriage. This is the most complicated part of the story where Romeo accidentally kills Juliet’s cousin and gets exiled and takes the opportunity to have sex with his wife. It’s also odd they have sex to make their marriage official. I’m guessing its part of old tradition.
Lord Capulet misinterprets Juliet’s grief for Romeo and thinks that it is for her cousin Tybalt. Lord Capulet then agrees to marry her to Count Paris. Juliet then asks Friar Lawrence for help and offers her a drug that would put her in a death-like coma for a day. It is a way to take her out of the marriage and save their relationship from their family’s feud. The plan would work. They’d be free from their family’s strife. Friar Lawrence asked Friar John to inform Romeo of the plan. But Friar John did not reach Romeo and, instead learns of Juliet’s false death from his servant Balthazar. He then hurries to the Capulet’s burial vault. Romeo then sees Paris in the vault kills him. Believing death is the only way to reconcile with Juliet, he drinks a poison, which he bought from an apothecary. Juliet then wakes up and found Romeo dead. She then stabs herself with the dagger she found near her love’s hand. This part of the story is really complex. I also couldn’t believe Shakespeare would be so barbaric of his characters. Especially the part where Juliet wakes up just after Romeo drinks the poison. The death of the lovers was not put to waste. The peace Friar Lawrence has been asking for came after their death. It was very odd that they had to sacrifice their only offspring to make peace with the other party. It was really mean for the 2 parties to do so. They had to make their children find a way to lie to them and make their child turn away from them or have resentment that would really cause their children’s death. They are very self-centered people having thought only of themselves before their children especially of the civilians involved. But if they weren’t this would not be the Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet. It would be just a simple love story of a happily ever after.
dear blog . haha . dang . ive been too depressed for my good again . haha . here i am again . i really cant abandon you my dear . you see . i cant tell everyone what i feel . and i feel better addressing a stranger to you than to them . haha . anyways . i feel my heart really aching for days along with my other body pains . haha . i hate stress so much . haha . i hate all this aching as well . haha . i keep on laughing even if i know inside myself im hurt . dang . haha i feel stupid again . anyways . i get all these feeler feelings about myself . like i dont need to keep on waiting for a something which isnt mine to claim anymore . there are a lot of thing in this world i would like to greedily take claim of and credit as mine . i feel like im being to ambitious and greedy . i loathe myself . haha . im seriously not allowed to tell everything i feel . it would cost me to lessen my dignity x] i really hate myself right now . for not being allowed to blog everything i want to express . i feel really limited . and closed . i cant even write on paper what i truly feel right now at the fear of anyone passing through my bones and hack into my brain . anyway i deserve this things anyway . i really dont deserve anything from anyone . i loathe myself . i rebuke stress . haha
ok so . i have to admit . now a days i cant stop my mouth from saying too many bad words . i feel evil . but it feels good too . ive never been like this before . its a something that i feel like ive gone against my old self . its like im a new person . and its a someone who keeps on cursing . honestly that is what it is . i feel a lot evil . and a lot like not myself . oh by the way . i really cant help it . is it my fault one of my classmates is also a member of phoenix1 ? he is convincing me to come back . well it is very tempting . phoenix1 and opusdei . 2 guilds of different schools trying to make a connection for the good of both guilds . but i have a feeling if i go back i will be very lonely . its not healthy for me to even be there . with all my stalkers and all that . will my guildmates not very open to new members . its like the only ones who always talk in the ally chat are the seniors . its like ive got no right to talk because of me being new . im not like joshua guanco . he is very friendly and came to be friends with the guildmasters first before becoming a member . its all my blah blah again . anyways . the real reason why im blogging is about college . well basically i have to say i saved a trait my mom has always haved . its the part where she takes things into reality by a random thought . she really is straight forward . the something i didnt have i guess ? its my sister who has that . man . im really the other end of my sister's magnetic pole . but i guess it is both good and bad . one negative is too much difference . but if i weigh it . i have to say we have a lot positive . we get along . we fill in for the needs of one another . oh by the way im sick again . im not saying again . haha ! anyway . back to the college thing . well basically it was last wednesday . i was with my special friends during lunch time . one of them will study at lyceum . another in mapua . those words shot me through . all of a sudden . my insides told me i needed to stay near the university belt as well . and i asked them to suggest a school . all of a sudden they suggested la salle . . . . BOOM haha ! to the point i didnt listen to the succeeding techers . haha . sorry x] . but i was busy planning in my head x] haha ! anyway . i still cant print my application form . haha scary >.<>good night~~sleepy losernp . show me how to love .♥
ok so . i guess today is what i would say . better than yesterday . i will again believe it is one of my witty saying of tomorrow is only either better or worse . anyway . i like this day better because . yesterday . i was in the midst of crying again . i really was awfully tired . and got a sermon for a reason i dont know so . well i really felt a lot sad that day . i really dont know why . maybe because almost everyone was out of the house . and i kind of had a twinge in my heart once more . well basically . the guy from my last post didnt even bother to greet me . i miss my mom . i had a sermon and all that . i really stopped myself from crying . but my tears failed me once again . it bothers me . it annoys me to hell . i wouldnt even believe it was my birthday if the calendar didnt post the oh.eight.thirty.twenty.ten on it . dang . i really was asking god why does the calendar lie ? . but basically it wouldnt . its national hero's day . it wouldnt go wrong . its just the people around me . or maybe its just me . i know its me . i feel more than an idiot again . i hate myself . i wanted to die the same day i was born . it felt like ive got no one on my side anymore . like my friend from my last post being my partner in crime now gone . ive really got no one else to depend on like our crazy schemes . its like i need to act mature . i dont feel mature . i feel more down . i feel more worthless . adding my aunt's anger on me . ive got no one to help me . with my sister on practice that same day . i felt really undeserving to live . maybe thats why i couldnt make myself eat at yanna's house . i really love that group and our presentation :] thanks for the time guys . i really appreciate the effort of making me happy that day . but i guess i really am not a very easy person to force in to being happy . i tend to be plastic . but there are times i dont make an effort to try . it seems like its not too good to tell you im good but im really not . but there are also time i just need to fake it out to please others . well i got used to the fact people dont amuse me . i never really get amused a lot . man . i have so many sides of me i never really got to know . just this third and fourth year high school of my life . man im stupid . i guess its an effort to both parties to make me at least smile and make them believe im happy . i feel numb . and dumb . i miss some person who doesnt even miss me . haha i guess he is pushing me out of his life anyway . i need a new distraction . or maybe an inspiration . i slept in what i guess late . and woke up really sleepy . well basically i got nervous due to costumes . it was all long and unusual . i dont normally go nervous on stage plays and on stage events . i got used to the weird stage of dla . but it was good i guess :] it made me laugh a lot in front of my classmates . haha . my groupmates made us open our mouths while dancing . like the one you do while cheer dancing . we look very funnie . i really couldnt stop laughing when we talked about that on the thirtieth . all that stuff and laughing of my classmates made us smile . well i guess pascal really cant get over the f4 . haha . anyway . i really cant help but be happy also . but i didnt make the effort at joining them at taking pictures of one another . its too much tupperware to bear . its not too healthy . but it made me happy teacher lan greeted me not only in facebook but hugged me at the teachers nook :] ♥ i felt really happy she did :] normal teachers wouldnt even notice my birthday . oh sir erbert greeted me through facebook also :] that made me happy too :] but he didnt bother anymore at class . im not one of his favorites . in recitations maybe . but not those who he really hangs out with . i kinda feel jelous O.o i honestly dont know why also O.o anyway . one again i didnt like physics session . because he made us do venn diagrams . blah blah :| also in tle . sir was out again . maybe for his badminton team again . nothing new i guess ? maybe i just dont know the details . anyway . i got a new product design . haha . its hard T.T haha ! my own product design annoys me . haha . anyway . it looks better than my abstract design of the product . haha ! well it annoyed me he didnt let me join the discussion of new products for the second quarter . but what can i do about it anyway ? . so it looks entirely different . and entirely better . haha . i failed that stupid first design . haha . i wonder what our grade for filipino day is ? O.o i felt a lot better today . i guess maybe another bad one for tomorrow ? wish me luck i guess . tomorrow is wednesday anyway . its cat day . and im guessing ill remove the other event i always do every wednesday and saturday nights . anyway . i need to sleep . before i break down again . oh another song for him .
don't understand, what you're trying to say
no need to say it i am leaving
but don't walk away, just stay right there
i'll fall, and i'll just look at you
i'll just look at you, i'll just look at you
i'll just look at you
don't know why, i always feel like this
it's hard to breath when you're around
your big blue eyes, are driving me to sleep
the space is tearing me, i'll stay please stay
i'll stay please stay, i'll stay please stay
i'll stay please stay
words are not important, smiles are all i need from you
the yearning, is getting stronger i'm dumb
i hope you like me too
you're two tables away, and you could see me mesmerize
i wanna talk to you but i'm so scared
before i never cared, the infatuation's never there
and now it's killing me, i really hate myself
i really hate myself, i really hate myself
i really hate myself
words are not important, smiles are all i need from you
the yearning, is getting stronger i'm dumb
i hope you like me too
words are not important, smiles are all i need from you
the yearning, is getting stronger i'm dumb
i hope you like me too
before you read . note: this blog is very self centered . . pls forgive me if you will not appreciate itok . so its my time to shine . and the same time to weep . well basically i feel kind of awful . and . the reason is . because . someone hates me . but he isnt telling me the truth why . so here i am supposing . that i am once more an eyesore for anyone who meets me by . its really unfair . i feel wasted . its like he just blew up our friendship . we have been through an awful lot . and its really not good that he just threw away our friendship like some kind of garbage which means i am a waste in his life . its really not good also not being without him . i like have a thousand stories to tell almost everyday . . . . but now . im blocked . and annoyed . and hurt . there is this feeling i got used to his presence . and i really cant think straight . i know in myself i did not do anything wrong to make him hate me . it feels like i lost a something once more . but this time its hard to trust if i could still find it . well i have to say . i adjusted almost my personality for every person i like to be with . like hazel garcia wanting me to be more responsible . like anthea always being at her side . also like arjone never used to having me annoyed or her hurting me . anyway . the point is . i changed because of him too . im just not sure . but some others noticed it . i know in myself there are a lot to count . i feel awful . like i was only used for a purpose . like im not a friend . anyway . i look like a toy . so why bother treat me as a person right ? i get it . thats why i was depressed . im having my self esteem lowered once more . thats why its a heart break . tsk . this is more than bitch slap . weit . what am i talking about . he's a guy . tsk . such a loser once more . wrecked body . i feel distorted . rawr ! i have to say . for me . he has no right to block me from his friend list . from his life . well basically there are a lot of things . and memories we promised and care for . man . this is so unfair for me . breaking everything we have . even connections . its like im a stranger to you once more . like . argh i dont know where to put myself in your life anymore . well basically i used think in myself that . you will be one of the persons in my life that i will not forget about whatever happens . like comrades not moving without the other . but i guess i was just an illusion . not a something you will need someday . just a paper to right on for today . a note you will need for a period of time . and a paper you will throw away someday . i feel that i dont want to be recycled by someone else . its really depressing to think that . i cared for you and you will treat me like this . im guessing we wasted our time together . the small and big events we done . our simple joys and glorious hours . every achievement . disregarded . what a simple answer of rejection . for a very deep meaning of friendship for me . typecast is piercing me to the bones . ill just put the lyrics if i have to . haha . ill just put it later maybe . ahm . im guessing i am very redundant by now . still . it hurts to think . the person you have always trusted and gave up a lot of time for to be together with pushed you away from his life like junk . my heart hurts :[
Standard pick-up lines that seems to wreck your bones
Can this be a sequel of my dying hope?
Chasing down a never ending make-believe
But you're a perfect match of consistency
Will you come back in a heartbeat?
Don't be confused of what a great thing we could be
We'll take a walk on the same street
Can you tell me how Boston is like without me?
You're image is stamp beneath the insides of my heart
Now you're gone I don't know where to start
The evidence is showing like a stable apprehension
But you're the only one who's apt for this affection
the drugs began to peak
A smile of joy arrives in me
But sedation changes to panic and nausea
And breath starts to shorten
And heartbeats pound softer.
You wont try to save me
You just want to hurt me and leave me desperate.
You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine.
You won't leave me alone
Chisel my heart out of stone
I give in everytime.
You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine
I bet you laugh
At the thought of me thinking for myself (myself)
I bet you believe (bet you believe)
That I'm better off with you than someone else
Your face arrives again
All hope I had becomes surreal
But under your cover's
More torture than pleasure
And just past your lips
There's more anger than laughter
Not now or forever will I ever change you
I know that to go on I'll break you, my habit
You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine
annoyance once more prevails my insides . it annoys me once more that my aunt shouts all over the house at the top of her lungs . trying to annoy us all . well i can say i can do all of that . if . for one . she would make a list and just shut up . number two . let me do what i want FIRST . then ill do her chores . even her lecturing . it looks like she is cursing with a voo doo doll in hand . freaky O.o . haha . with my personality . i know i need to take care of my hair fall now x] haha ! i might see a real shaman x] haha . or maybe . my cough would kill me first x] . haha . anyway . i have to say . i have lots of fans and its scary now O.o seriously . ran isnt very good at times . people think its good to just stalk somebody they dont even know personally . its both annoying and scary . well basically ill just pretend i have a boyfriend in ran x] minus problems x] anyway . i have to say some thing first O.o i know in myself i can do house chores . but . i really like the feeling of cleaning a house when i do it with no one is talking and maybe [just maybe] i would like to do that stuff alone . maybe like the summer 2 years ago . it was always just me and my sister in this house . it made me feel at ease to clean house . with no one shouting and making me do what they want . i like the feeling of i pick up things with my own will and not someone directing me to do it so . oh ! haha i have an observation . but its kind of evil . haha . well basically i think that it is my aunt and her aunt's behavior to mutter things to themselves . its really weird . and basically not good to the ears . -____- anyway ill blog maybe later . need to do a reaction paper i guess O.o
ok so my im really back to blogging . ive got a new perspective now . i guess i dont need to make my blog posts too long . it actually causes me to stop . so for now on . ill just post whatever and whenever i feel like stopping . i actually deleted lots of drafts . i get so bored and just delete them . and im guessing . its kind of a waste . this blog is made for me to express anyways . so ill just pin it to that . so anyways . yesterday was august 13 2O1O . the day when i first made my blog post here in blogger . [it just popped out of my head] so happy anniversary . i guess O.o anyways i guess its not always friday the thirteenth the scarily unlucky day . its really kind of happy :] i guess i dont want to elaborate more . but i dont feel anymore . so anyways . friday was really lovely for me . and today was really tiring . :| i feel my body all the way exhausted . i almost feel sick . but i kind of thank god i dont get my body temperature high here in this house . well basically its 12 and my head hurts more . haha . stupid me . so today ive got cat and i am really not in the mood to study today because of the cat . oh btw . i kind of slept on the afternoon . thats new O.O and oh ! a few days ago we got a package from italy . we have new games for nitendo ds ;] well we kind of call it DSP . my baby sister kind of mixed PSP and nitendo DS . its kind of cool . you call call either of the 2 dsp x] anyways . i feel kind of wasted . really . my eyes head and throat hurt . and i have again the feeling of not being important . haha . im such a loser . haha . dang . i suddenly forgot everything im supposed to blog about maybe its just too deep in the night and my head feeling sore . i guess ill just try to blog tomorrow . i love you blog ^_~ miss you ♥
i srsly cant think of anything good to blog . well basically . im pissed . with 2 people out there . well basically they wont be reading this anyway . and im just putting a period that im pissed . and oh yeah . i remember . my playlist keeps repeating . we the kings . it doesnt annoy me . the other morning it was charice . well anyways . i think i really need money control @_@ well basically my palms are itching again . im wating and CRAViNG for :
ok so i cant help it x.x i need to be productive x,x i am so totally getting hooked on some nutty mmorpg game . tsk . anyways its not my fault my mind is searching more than what it is provided with . well basically its not your fault i got hooked ;] haha oyeah . anyways . at least i achieve things i did not expect . i now have shoulders to cry on . i have friends to laugh at and guffaw back at me . [oyeah guffaw] haha . well the thing is i think i really need my blog back . staying at an mmorpg game means risking your own english skills x]] which is kinda bad . haha who cares . my english is always better when i hear it rather than type it . well basically my hands are always berserk . which means more typo done than intended . well basically im blogging because . its 3:oo in the morning and i cant take my mind off the mmorpg game . which is kind of bad . well basically im gonna be a graduating student in less than 3o days from now . and i guess later today . i will have a peek of the list of students that i will be sharing a four cornered [5 rather] room . well basically . i am still wishing we would stay at the third floor rather than the fourth . well . my legs are too short . and with my now smaller stomach . i need all the energy contained in my small body . well basically . in the 6o day alloted time for change i have done for myself . the change did not progress rather it deteriorated . man . i miss my dictionary . well basically my head is now sleepy but my mind tells me to make this blog . in which i will wake up again late . well . it is kind of bad for me to be blogging this time of the day . . . nevermind . i used to make my older blogs this time of day also . anyways . i am STiLL currently annoyed at the people whom of which i have trusted my dear itouch loves . in which i presume is now visible with damages . well it is clear of evidences x,x hate it . i now also should listen to teacher aida
be wise as a serpent . be meek as a lambyou really cant help but trust somebody you trusted then . it is also depressing to listen to the fact that . you trusted something precious to somebody and then again they dont treat the same respect to the object you consider dear to your self . anyways . online movavi is a loser . it is so slow . its so boring i dont have my own converter . sucks . anyways . im guessing . from one of my previous post . super previous post centering about cory aquino and marcos and all that stuff . well basically . her son . noy noy i guess will be the next president . talk about monarchy . well basically i think filipinos chose something they are not sure of . they are only imitating what they think is on trend . and i am guessing . it is a bad habit of filipinos . speaking of bad habits . i also noticed on tv . the reality show . it is quite bad that filipinos have the habit of speaking destructive criticism about one another behind each others back . well basically i think it is good if it is constructive criticism behind one persons back rather than the negative one . well it is true . and i cant deny the fact that most people . including myself do so even if it is not on purpose . well i realize that and i hate the fact that i cant help myself from doing so it is also quite annoying after i realize so . i am now developing my mind of erasing ill thoughts about others . . . which is VERY hard . considering the people i live with . i cant help but think ill of them also . considering the fact i live with them and know all their secrets . it is VERY hard not to think ill of them x.x anyways . i have a confession . i cannot reach the very bottom of my facebook page anymore x]] haha ! i have so many wall to walls with a lot of persons by now . haha ! i can only imagine how many notifications i have . haha ! well basically i checked my mail earlier this morning to find out 2000+ mails only from facebook O_+ and i only got 5 from ebay ! O_+ god facebook . i guess im really social ;] haha ! jokes x] anyway . the other night . me and my mumu [juliuz] knew that some of the people he trusted . was basically . . . unreliable . we kind of decided to change his pass . but the only way to do that is to reset . we kinda started all the drama he wouldnt see his avatar anymore and all that . and i was guessing he laughed his gut out when he got his new password . it was kind of weird . his account was blocked for about a minute or two . haha . whats funny was all the drama . anyways . i would like to share this cute stuff i got from the mmorpg game i am totally hooked on :
how i wish really . i love the rain and all . i should be singing with joy the rain fell down on my skin once more . but thus i have not been in love to this rain . this rain is the sign of my hurt and stupidity . and i have thus now know that stupidity should not be forced down the throat of reality . i am happy . yet ugly . i have thus not want to speak of the dilemma . but the predicament is there to speak for itself . i have once more broken my own heart for the safety of my own sanity . i guess it is somehow suicidal . to let the tears flow like the rain.;[
-- let the tears fall though the gashes of my distressed heart will never change . cannot find self actualization . a big faux pas . a different faux ami
