annoyance

thus thou hate is kept . and mouth be sealed . for the greater good of many

I hate thinking of this quotation . its really not healthy . I hate tita . my shoulders shiver with thou hatred . I know that people would find this unusual due to the fact that it is not in my nature to hold hatred . BUT WHO WOULDNT BE ANNOYED ? cmon ? look at her shouting all the time . I hate impatience . I hate noise 。I really don't like the fact that she is like that . well heres the thing . she always shouts at her own child . which I know happens almost all the time . and I don't care really . I just really hate the fact that me and my sisters name is always brought up . like THE HELL ! I like so hate you ! she always says:

wala aco mautusan dito ! nakakahiya naman sa kanila . wala sila ginagawa

like THE HELL ! I really don't like the fact she does that because well basically she doenst ask for help . and the fact she would backstabb us and would now even *parinig* DANG ! my confushian belief is being toggled again . what can I do ? I'm so fed up with her also . I really get annoyed with people with big mouths . why can't they just be like my mom ? just approaching you and asking you to do a favor for her . to do this and do that . and my mom would really wake up very early for us . she wakes up at about 5 and SHE would wake up at 6 so see the reason why nowadays we get to be late ? my mom would even help me search for facts about mesopotamia . my mom let's me do and not do chores . that is why I can't function with her concept . I am crying again . I'm so stupid . and silly . I'm annoyed with myself . but what can I do if I can't cope up and move on ?

[wow my eyes are red again . a cocroach bit me again xD]