good bye

i'm done with the past . its time I let go . I've had enough hurtful words . its time I move on . I'll make a new blog if I have to . I don't want to hold on to memories that are buried . I cannot salvage what is already gone . I can't move on if I still have this fvcking blog . i'll make a new one . start from scratch if I have to . I have someone else to be with now . I don't want to hold on . i'm moving on .




self centered post .

boredom got me posting . well my plans on combing my hair are fail . its tangled and i'm not in the mood to manage it :| it'll end up with a lot of hair fall if I continue this . anyway . Mathplus will start soon and i'm still wondering . how in the world will I wake up and not stay up at 4 in the morning . another problem is the dental thingy . I still got a tooth broken :| and I still haven't had braces . and I dont plans on having one :| My nails look horrible again . i've got them all too long and it all looks horrible again . and my stay at Mendez actually caused me to not use lotion . so my skin is all dry again . my lips are dry as well . at least they aren't chapped anymore :| haha wow am I depressed again ? maybe I kinda am . or just plain sleepy . argh this is getting more and more self centered


*faints from being too self centered*


Marga Weird Facts : Ideals

this blog post is requested by Elmo . I don't exactly know why i'm following him . but I think I suddenly got curious as well :)) I don't freakin know . ill test my sub-conscious again . it might have an answer again . my mind is so fascinating at times . even I am afraid of it :)) . so . bullet post ? I get the feeling this would be hard .

★ I like being with someone taller than me
. I like hugging other people . so maybe that's why my best friends are chubby @.@
★ I like people with long hair
. I go around touching other people's hair
★ maybe people who accept my weirdness
. its really odd to talk to normal human beings . I feel like an alien . maybe I am ?
★ I really appreciate being with people who are very reminding
. esp people who know I am highly forgetful .
★ people who are patient ?
. I tend to always say "wait for me" at an awful lot of times even if I don't want to :(
★ I love being with unpredictable people
. only I don't like the mood changing kind of unpredictable
★ I love being with listeners
. I tell an awful lot of stories . I even tend to repeat them
★ I also love story tellers .
. if a person is a speaker . he/she must also be a good listener (:
★ I don't say everyone has to but I like receiving gifts :))
. I try my awful best to give one in return (:
★ I don't like being with jealous people
. spread the love . don't be selfish . I don't get jealous myself (: only envy :))
★ I love being with music lovers (:
. its a language I use and understand :)
★ I'd love being with sporty
. but i'm still depressed about Kath not wanting me to get all tired and not wanting to teach me how to play volleyball :|
★ I don't care what a person looks like really (:
. will forever believe kindness and beauty are skin deep (:
*most important* I don't ever like the feeling of being lonely
. I don't want to be labeled impatient but . i've waited long enough . i've been waiting for nothing before and now I just don't want to keep
I just realized this is like a MWF :)) so i'm changing the title now :)) this does apply to everyone . I realized as well . this is all I can think of for now . ill post this on mwf next time . I feel sleepy . but I want to greet him when he wakes up .



paranoia strikes

I think i'm paranoid . well last night I was mostly talking to myself because I got tired working during the afternoon . we cleaned the whole place . the whole second floor to be exact . I was so busy I kept some people waiting . it was so evil of me . but I have to admit . I needed both my hands in working . almost everything I had to carry was a lot heavy . and so all my efforts of wanting to be fat got wasted . that sucks . I just ended up eating slowly . . and so last night I,in turn, waited for them . I talked to myself . well couz the net was so slow it couldn't even load et ~.~ I couldn't even remember what I did last night . all I remember is I kept feeling like everyone was angry at me couz I made them wait and I kept scratching myself again . can't remember if it was red again . man i'm so weird . ill auto reply et now . I need to calm down now . i'm done with editing my blogger into what it almost looked like before . its not the exact one but it'll pass . I still have my frog at my desktop just in case I want it back . ill post another blog . 




anime ?

I have to admit . I missed watching all these animes . haha . I even watched YuYu Hakusho . my other tabs now are about Saber . man . I miss wasting time on animes . well I guess I still have June to waste time on them . well anyways . I want to watch these animes now/again :) I guess this will be a temporary sensation again . I hope . I wouldn't want to waste time downloading all those things . well I only have now to waste my time on it . when the calendar moves to July . I need to let go of all these temporary vices . DDtank and animes I mean . I really want to use my time on something at least . but I guess i'm still wasting them . I don't want to be plastic but I want to watch them still . but I still will study French . its funny . I still kinda know their names . and I still find them cute and addictive . btw . the net here still sucks . even if I am the only person using the net . I still find their internet very annoying . I can't even buff one video . shalalalala clap clap clap this is annoying . waiting . buffing . waiting . buffing . FTW ! look what just happened

this is just so great . so great :| ill try waiting if I can until either the cord disconnects or I feel sleepy


freakin late post . :|

ok so a lot has happened since Tuesday . which was crazily funny . well . I was in one of the usual boring days I had left on the longest summer I will ever have in my entire education life . everything else will be just a pit of suffering . Just like DLA ? haha maybe Mapúa was the DLU they were dreaming off . well buzz off . Malayan got it first . haha anyway . I got an unusual pm from my dearest sister . she was asking about a classmate of mine . I don't know what caught her attention but she asked a lot . which was so weird . the next person to pm me was my old classmate himself . well i'll just post their conversation . its so weird anyways

tsk tsk . her boyfriend got so mad . he got scared . this is what I call karma . well . I guess he deserved that . he isn't really careful with what he always says and he doesn't hell care that what he says can actually hurt or annoy another creature around him . that's all I can say about him right now . So anyway the next day I went home . here at Imus . it actually irritated my skin to actually be here . I took 2 baths that day and the next day . well now i'm a bit fine I guess . but yesterday was epic . I went to Intra to finally enroll . I was at hell . I don't know if God was really mad at me couz I seriously felt it . The scorching heat expressed that of the sun . it radiated everywhere I landed on at Manila . I still hate that place  but I am still forced to even go there for college . for what ? the greener pasture of course . except you need to cross hell first before you live in that freakin pasture . btw we also brought stuff for baby sister's birthday party . which caused me more fatigue that even my mind wasn't capable of . am I insane ? maybe I am already . who ever said I wasn't ? :| so anyway . the day went on . more fatigue . more heat . insert more dramatic figures of speech . damn i'm running out of ideas . or i'm just getting more and more annoyed ? anyway rain poured a few moments ago . and it just made the humidity worse . anyway I just want to share I changed my background the same day when I enrolled . its nothing really . just simple copy paste ~.~ and via request i'm posting what my desktop officially looks like .

Just My Background

How I use my Desktop :)

ill end your misery (:


PS : I like using a new emoticon now >> (: fb chat is so freaky




I've been thinking of what to do :) well i've been nothing but bored lately . so now I want to start making plans for college :) and how I am going to spend money on college . I get the feeling I need to be more spendthrift by that time . well I just want to bullet what I am going to save money for . bullet post :)

★ Tickets for HP7 part 2 priority
★ Casio Silver Calculator . I get the feeling i would still encounter i :)
★ A new pair of Chucks :) i want a bright yellow/orange one like my neon pink . a pair :)
★ A plain green/orange Jansport :)
★ Some accessories for Macbook Goddess .
★ A gift or two for Kathleen ?
I know blogging this is seriously self centered . but I just need to keep my hand firm on what I am supposed to plan on and keep my word :) i've been nothing but bored these days . but I have been a bit successful on some of my plans . but most of the time DDtank comes in the way . but still I still did get to learn a bit of the French language . and I am now more comfortable using my left hand in writing but still have my right hand writing look good :) I still want to improve myself . I want to be a better person . or at least . I want to be worthy for anyone . I now believe change is very possible . :) who wouldn't ? I suddenly will become an engineer . who would've thought that was possible ? :) or the fact that I could just let go of my UST dreams and go to Mapúa ? well enough of UST . I feel completely changed :) I love what I am now :) but there are still empty holes on me . I still feel incomplete . as though someone is supposed to be there and cheer me or something . but I realize i've got nothing . no one to share this happiness with . i've got some friends yes . but they have their own problems to worry about . im just a waste of their space . anyways . gotta run . off to bed . this blog is too dramatic . damn it marga





ok so ill bullet post what I have done this holy week :) I hope I remember everything . I hope you like it :)

Saturday night before

★ Total computer boredom and all that stuff .
★ Finally decided to help Mama Lorna with designing the karo
★ I helped Mama Lorna design and put up the karo with flowers .
★ Had my imagination working
★ Completely made the karo look fabulous :)
★ Gone to sleep with my back aching
Palm Sunday
★ Total computer boredom and all that stuff .
★ Readied for the prusisyon
★ Watched The Prince of Tennis before joining
★ Joined the prusisyon
★ Everyone got tired
★ Decided to eat on Tagaytay
★ Mcdo moments
★ Used the PC for a while
Monday Tuesday
★ Total computer boredom and all that stuff .
★ Thought tita wasn't gonna come here
★ Stared into nothingness most of time
★ My period came in
★ ate Julianne came home
★ Mama Lorna and Tito Bhoy's Wedding Anniversary :)
★ another prosisyon
★ Dysmenorrhea got me
★ I tried to join
★ But the pain ate me whole
★ Ended up with my titas at Lola's house
★ Used Maurice's DSLR
★ Camwhores come in
★ I became the Photographer
★ They liked how I can produce good Jump Shots
★ Got worried they weren't gonna come fetch me
★ Dysmenorrhea consumed me again
★ They came at 1O.3Opm
★ Got home
★ Ate a lot
★ Got to sleep
Maundy Thursday
★ Tita finally came with Bon and sister :)
★ They brought the Laptop with them
★ Total laptop boredom and all that stuff .
★ Second thoughts about the Bisita Iglesa couz everyone was too tired from yesterday's prusisyon
★ Except me @.@ but I was tired as well . due to my monthly dysme @.@
★ Laptop blues
★ Dysmenorrhea blues
★ Snap decisioned the Bisita Iglesia
★ Gone to different churches
• St Agustine
• Alfonso
• Silang
• Sungay
• Lourdes
★ Oh! the car got jammed before going to Sungay . had to fix it :)
★ Was on the verge of tears a lot . but kept myself still
★ Was so damn windy and cold @.@
★ Got home tired
★ DDtank before going to sleep
Good Friday
★ Total laptop boredom and all that stuff .
★ The final prosisyon
★ The Pamigay controversy :))
★ The swimming rumor next day
★ The Flat tire :) strike 1 of the controversy
★ Laptop blues
★ DDtank blues
★ Got to sleep :)
Black Saturday
★ Surprisingly no Total laptop boredom and all that stuff . that day XD
★ couz the rumor came true :))
★ everyone in the gang joined :)
★ Jhonna Vs Justin the bag that got left
★ 4 car convoy was formed
★ Got to Batangas
★ Tito got annoyed the convoy got broken
★ enjoyed the rest of the day swimming :)
★ The jammed car :) strike 2 of the controversy
★ Got to sleep on the way home
★ Slept hearing Pussy Cat Dolls
★ Woke up hearing Pussy Cat Dolls
★ Decided to use the laptop
★ Ended up talking with Steve
★ Got to sleep earlier :)
★ like 2am :))
Easter Sunday
★ Total laptop boredom and all that stuff
★ Mae came over couz her mom wasn't home
★ Got to eat at a birthday party of Lolo and Lola at Burgos :)
★ Teased her with her Antioch stuff from her retreat I guess .
★ Her brother Kuya Ivan came to the rescue :)
★ Mais-Melon Con Heilo :)
★ Laptop blues
★ DDtank blues
★ Blogged yesterday
★ Got to sleep
★ Had a dream
well it is very weird yet it is also a fun week :) oh btw . this week . i've been sleeping at 3 a lot . if you guys were to ask :) I S
sincerely like my holy week :) I wish by next year . I have someone to be with during the prusisyons @.@ I want to share with someone how fun it is here at Mendez during the Holy Week :) I wish everyone had a good Holy Week as well as I did :)

So.HowDidYouSpendYourHolyWeek? :)


unexpected dream

i'm so sorry for not blogging for days . man . except last night . the blog pushed through . anyways . the reason I haven't been blogging is that . we always go out a lot . or DDtank has all of my attention due to the slow internet . so anyways I wish I don't end up deleting this one as well or i'll just re type this kind of start all over again :| so ill try to narrate the things I have done during the holy week :) oh wait . I want to blog about my dream last night first . well anyway I seriously didn't expect to have a dream last night . it is somewhat associated with my blog last night @.@ damn me . so anyways my dream was kinda messy . I was with my cousins . we were out on another adventure . on my way home my other home I decided to walk . all of a sudden other people were walking as well . most of the time when I walk no one else walks at Meadowville . all of a sudden I recognized him walking somewhere in front of me . so i skipped past him . it was weird . considering I wanted to run . I just stupidly skipped around Meadowville . so he had the chance of following me and actually walked past me again . after he did I got so damn tired I fell on the floor . he helped me get up but I brushed him off . even if I was so damn tired I tried to run . but he was by my side effortlessly running with me . I got so mad I banged the gate on his face . i'm evil right ? but he opened it yet again effortless . I hate it when he does that . all my effort gone to waste couz of his enormous strength . I am such a weakling :| I only like that part of him when he does that for me not against me . i hate myself for being such a weakling . I dont have anyone to help me anymore :| I feel so alone now . damn . ill post about the holy week in a new post . can't bear this drama .



i ♥ TheNotebookForever :)

My Dearest Allie,

I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us.

I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love.

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you.


well I miss my 'The Notebook' book . well everyone knows that that is my favorite book right ? . haha . as if :)) the fact is that its my favorite book . the false is the part where every one knows about it xD well not everyone bothers to care anyways . if I was in someone else's shoes I wouldn't care what Marga's favorite book is anyway . like my new favorite site :) haha . well insecurities kicks in once more . just like yesterday . i was talking to a potential suitor . i even discriminated myself in front of him . unluckily it didn't work ~.~ I can be a lot unlucky at times . especially with the self actualization . self esteem and impressions on me . I act dumb a lot . I know as well . but I kinda realized that . to know a person . if the freely accept you for who you are and accept you and your worth . well this is too dramatic I say . anyways i'm here to blog about the saying

"Right minus Wrong"

I just felt like its time i finally blog about it . its really weird and I think the person i told this to doesn't care anymore . but I just suddenly desired to want to talk about it . well I can't say it to some certain people so I just decided to put it here . where no one bothers to unravel the mystery behind it . couz basically its just some worthless piece of shit . just a riddle I created to ruin someone's mind . I am such an evil being right ? I hate myself I know . so anyways . this saying means on my personal view on such saying that he should never let negative stuff take over the positive ones . it just seems unfair sometimes I guess ? couz I get the feeling I personally did that on him . and I seriously am a sucker . I hate myself . I wish he loves who ever she is with all his being . I don't deserve to be happy . I hope he's living the life he's meant to have . damn . I promised to God I wont cry anymore :| I wont stop him from being happy . I should stop now . i'm not crying :) but this is seriously wrecking my mask again . i'm not supposed to let my reflections show xD

Allie Hamilton-Caulhon :)