blah blah : kesha

i srsly cant think of anything good to blog . well basically . im pissed . with 2 people out there . well basically they wont be reading this anyway . and im just putting a period that im pissed . and oh yeah . i remember . my playlist keeps repeating . we the kings . it doesnt annoy me . the other morning it was charice . well anyways . i think i really need money control @_@ well basically my palms are itching again . im wating and CRAViNG for :

★july 2 2O1O

★november 19 2O1O

★the frog umbrella

★my new stabilo ballpen set

★thesis

★graduation >> i get to be with mom

haha . im getting a bit demanding but thats what i want right now . and to be fair lets put the things i DONT want x] :

★sir lino for trio . dang . its good to have him as a teacher . but can i get a go with serbs ? x.x

★haircut

★cut my fingernails . this is a democratic country . dang

★get thinner

★PROM ! DANG IT !

well basically i kind of hate my physical body . i look like a zombie now . i like can sleep in the morning . dang i need to sleep early . for peeps sake . i hate being hapontukin haha . we are not getting any taller guys ! look its 2:39 am in my clock right now . tsk . oh btw . i wont reveal what the 2 dates where . google can ;] haha ! oyeah . i guess i really need supplements now . and stress tabs haha . my new best friend haha . i have 3 reasons and 3 reasons alone to hate summer . well basically its el niño and im hating every hell second of it . second i dont have a single cent on me now . except the expenses made for ran . shhhh -____- and third is this not getting healthy thing im doing . its all in one . not eating right . not sleeping at the right time and not exercising my body . well basically this 4'1O" SMALL girl and the more or less 38 kilogrammed bitch might shrink . impossible for the height . but the weight is . god im turning to bones -____- . better be stoned than boned -____- . god . whats wrong with me ? im getting slower and slower in making this blog . i feel this is too short than my older ones too . and it took me shorter periods of time also . god . maybe because of the birthday craze . this is damned i guess . im changing format of this blog . im going back to my blog and tumblr . and i mean it . *period* tsk . i guess im really used to leisure . i guess i grew up with it . it really annoys me when i dont get what i want . which is also annoying . tsk . and maybe i need to really to sleep early . grrr next topic -____- well a few hours from now . me and the hundreds of students of dla *rich kids* will know what rooms we will be assigned and who are the persons we will backstabb . annoy . enjoy and share those stupid 5 cornered rooms . well basically i miss the 2 aircons of dla . x] but im not going there later . im broke . and thats stupid . i can just look at the online posts . anyways my headphone is dead . joke its broken . haha idk anymore . haha . what the hell . damn got to sleep its 3:30 .

love yah ;]

~distressedloser

little distressedloser is back ;]

ok so i cant help it x.x i need to be productive x,x i am so totally getting hooked on some nutty mmorpg game . tsk . anyways its not my fault my mind is searching more than what it is provided with . well basically its not your fault i got hooked ;] haha oyeah . anyways . at least i achieve things i did not expect . i now have shoulders to cry on . i have friends to laugh at and guffaw back at me . [oyeah guffaw] haha . well the thing is i think i really need my blog back . staying at an mmorpg game means risking your own english skills x]] which is kinda bad . haha who cares . my english is always better when i hear it rather than type it . well basically my hands are always berserk . which means more typo done than intended . well basically im blogging because . its 3:oo in the morning and i cant take my mind off the mmorpg game . which is kind of bad . well basically im gonna be a graduating student in less than 3o days from now . and i guess later today . i will have a peek of the list of students that i will be sharing a four cornered [5 rather] room . well basically . i am still wishing we would stay at the third floor rather than the fourth . well . my legs are too short . and with my now smaller stomach . i need all the energy contained in my small body . well basically . in the 6o day alloted time for change i have done for myself . the change did not progress rather it deteriorated . man . i miss my dictionary . well basically my head is now sleepy but my mind tells me to make this blog . in which i will wake up again late . well . it is kind of bad for me to be blogging this time of the day . . . nevermind . i used to make my older blogs this time of day also . anyways . i am STiLL currently annoyed at the people whom of which i have trusted my dear itouch loves . in which i presume is now visible with damages . well it is clear of evidences x,x hate it . i now also should listen to teacher aida

be wise as a serpent . be meek as a lamb

you really cant help but trust somebody you trusted then . it is also depressing to listen to the fact that . you trusted something precious to somebody and then again they dont treat the same respect to the object you consider dear to your self . anyways . online movavi is a loser . it is so slow . its so boring i dont have my own converter . sucks . anyways . im guessing . from one of my previous post . super previous post centering about cory aquino and marcos and all that stuff . well basically . her son . noy noy i guess will be the next president . talk about monarchy . well basically i think filipinos chose something they are not sure of . they are only imitating what they think is on trend . and i am guessing . it is a bad habit of filipinos . speaking of bad habits . i also noticed on tv . the reality show . it is quite bad that filipinos have the habit of speaking destructive criticism about one another behind each others back . well basically i think it is good if it is constructive criticism behind one persons back rather than the negative one . well it is true . and i cant deny the fact that most people . including myself do so even if it is not on purpose . well i realize that and i hate the fact that i cant help myself from doing so it is also quite annoying after i realize so . i am now developing my mind of erasing ill thoughts about others . . . which is VERY hard . considering the people i live with . i cant help but think ill of them also . considering the fact i live with them and know all their secrets . it is VERY hard not to think ill of them x.x anyways . i have a confession . i cannot reach the very bottom of my facebook page anymore x]] haha ! i have so many wall to walls with a lot of persons by now . haha ! i can only imagine how many notifications i have . haha ! well basically i checked my mail earlier this morning to find out 2000+ mails only from facebook O_+ and i only got 5 from ebay ! O_+ god facebook . i guess im really social ;] haha ! jokes x] anyway . the other night . me and my mumu [juliuz] knew that some of the people he trusted . was basically . . . unreliable . we kind of decided to change his pass . but the only way to do that is to reset . we kinda started all the drama he wouldnt see his avatar anymore and all that . and i was guessing he laughed his gut out when he got his new password . it was kind of weird . his account was blocked for about a minute or two . haha . whats funny was all the drama . anyways . i would like to share this cute stuff i got from the mmorpg game i am totally hooked on :

well basically i kinda realize that . that cute weapon is now precious . i cant even make myself upgrade it . haha . cant make myself risk x.x haha the thing that makes this precious is the fact it was so hard to hunt this thing x,x haha ! and now . i have 4 more wands in mind x] haha ! im kind of laughing at my avatar at time . well basically . i never had a set . and only experienced 2 +7 x] haha ! the stupid shadow staff and the playful thunder wand . i really loathe shadow staff now x] haha oh yeah . the 4 wands that are on my hunt list

★poker wand

★fly trap wand

★deadly spirit wand

★quinlun staff

well i never thought i would dream of that quinlung staff but here it is now on my hunt list . im after the hp haha . the dsw im after the attack . well basically they are turning me into an attack type now . tsk . well as goes for the poker wand . i guess that will only be a dream x] haha ! that one is way out of my league haha . fly trap ? i just need luck i guess . and i need to have patience . couz im getting annoyed at the brawlers . that is the class i am really annoyed at i guess . tsk . i am wishing only a few gamers would see this x,x haha i dont want to spread the word about my destroyed little build . haha i wish my preferred build would work x,x lets keep our fingers crossed and see how my non set little character can last the game haha . at least i know i can tank the macho astral and crimson swordies on rh ;] haha . and i can lure ;] oyeah haha . oh my gosh ! its 4 in the morning O_+ got to sleep haha . im going to have a little party in s3 tomorrow . and by the way . whoever can read this . lets support dj tado for hurado ! oyeah haha ! lets delete that nutty prescilla haha . i totally spaced this afternoon and forgot to open the radio again x.x well basically i dont have a radio . i dont have my cellphone . my sister wont give it back . it is quite annoying . i would really enjoy my summer with my phone but basically her phone got missing in this house under my name . quite annoying , QUITE . its not my fault jejemon wanted to do something with her phone . anyways i really need to control myself from typing bad things . grrr . i miss my phone . i miss brewrats . i miss school . i miss sleeping early . speaking of sleeping early i really need to go x.x before my mind changes . by the way . this blog is quite smaller than my previous ones x.x its really sad . i really need to be active now that im back to blogging . ill keep in touch ;]

one last oyeah ;]

~distressedloser

oh ps : maybe in my next blog ill talk about the people i really appreciate in ran and maybe some ss with them ^_^

election sickness ?

may 11 2o1o

i feel sick . i was bearing intolerable pain yesterday . well . i was a month late with regard my exclamation point . well basically im hating my body more and more -____- . im quite annoyed . i was supposed to make this blog yesterday . but i guess . the pain got to me before the net even got connected . well . i have loads to blog . well basically i had a dream last night that totally broke my heart . which is very weird . i dont know why my heart was broken by that . ill just keep my dream to myself -____- i dont know who reads my blog now -____- anyways . yesterday was elections . basically i was supposed to watch tv and support the candidate i idolize . its nick perlas x] im kinda sad due to the fact he didnt get the support he needed . he is an ideal candidate for me . well sad he only got 4ok+ votes . sad :[ well i was kind of really dead sick yesterday . first i just thought i was sick because of my exclamation point . next thing i knew i was vomiting all over the place . my throat was all the way dry . at the afternoon i let myself vomit unwillingly . and by the night i was forced to eat skyflakes which i knew was a bad idea . well basically it damn solid and my throat was damn dry . that sucked . i then forced myself to vomit that dry thing out of me . and my aunt thought i was forcing myself to vomit . which was true . but what can i do ? my whole body is useless and has no nutrition to replenish me . it sucked really . i already had my exclamation point to hurt my tummy then that stupid vomiting to worsen it . hmmm . let say im just talking about my tummy there . excluding my eyes that hurt also . well i was kind of crying . well . mothers day was only a few days ago . and i REALLY miss my mom . and i was also crying to God to help stop the pain all over my body . i was crying because i really hate vomiting . i rarely get sick to be honest . and when i do . its like the world is torturing my small body . its like you want to quit living . but i know in myself i need to fight it . most of the time when i get sick . i happen to be for a week or so . grrr cant stop thinking about my dream -_____- its a good thing i dont vomit anymore . i dont want to anymore . oh ! btw . i have a reason why i wanst blogging for about 4 months . well i got hooked at my old online game . ran online . im kind of bad of it now -____- im just level 168 -_____- loser me . i named it after you blog :] haha . oh yeah . ive got something to say as well . my sister called me distortedloser . haha loser sister . doesnt even know the spelling of distressed . im a damsel ;] well basically she has a blog now also :] its kind of weird . but who cares . anyone can blog . only difference is im on english forte and she's on filipino i guess . im still thinking if blogging is healthy for her . well basically it kind of brought her to trouble last time . at least i read my blog before posting and seeing if im stepping on somebody else's name . well i am not a backstabber . i may talk about some people . but i dont do it for evil . i just want to talk about them . or something like that . wow . i miss the efficiency of my fingers to just talk about this stupid damsel's life . hey ! im distressed ;] oh btw i would like to thank those who prayed for me yesterday . i just dont know if someoine did O_+ . we should always thank God for the things he makes possible and provides us mortals . we should always pray for and thank God for food . wealth . siblings . countrymen . life and love . good day guys . i wish i could feel much better now

np : the only exeption

feel the rain on your skin

how i wish really . i love the rain and all . i should be singing with joy the rain fell down on my skin once more . but thus i have not been in love to this rain . this rain is the sign of my hurt and stupidity . and i have thus now know that stupidity should not be forced down the throat of reality . i am happy . yet ugly . i have thus not want to speak of the dilemma . but the predicament is there to speak for itself . i have once more broken my own heart for the safety of my own sanity . i guess it is somehow suicidal . to let the tears flow like the rain.;[


-- let the tears fall though the gashes of my distressed heart will never change . cannot find self actualization . a big faux pas . a different faux ami

frustrations

ok i really need to blog . my mind cant function for english . gawdd i miss verdana x-small . i really miss my computer too . i so totally hate this . i hate everything about myself . well here is what i want to say . i really am totally annoyed with myself and everything connected with myself . well lets start with home . i guess maybe im just annoyed with home so anyways . i had another heart to heart talk with uncle dearest . i guess he is becoming the godfather i used to imagine he is . well his name is the only name i see in my baptismal certificate . well i guess i have to side with him with my cousin being a biatch . well basically she is . i hate using foul words but my head is really troublesome and i guess i just cant help it anymore . this is my outlet and i miss it and i hate that biatch for not letting me have my outlet and i get my mess everywhere . so now i can keep my mess on one place again . wow i guess im coming back to my senses and making this blog . well i dont want to be a biatch either and not express my dear annoyance [oxymoron ohh XD] well i need to blog this because i cannot restart my mind with elegy written in a country churchyard . i really hate life when i really cant express . id rather leave or fail or anything . but i really need an outlet . in school i cannot speak myself out . i cannot make everyone listen to me . well basically they just listen to themselves . well heres an insight . well i really hate some persons inside of the very room i consider as another home . well since i realized that i dont consider that place as anything but a study room now . so anyways heres the thing . i really hate pushovers who think they are the ones who people need to listen to when really they are just some other losers who really just feel like they are authority when really they arent . so going back . its not just this thing but i know behind my back they talk about me like im a burden and unneeded like a little baggage needed to be disposed of . so anyways i really dont like their attitude . getting all of the tasks needed to be done for themselves alone and telling you . you dont have anything to do while they are all stressed out . like hell ! you are not a god to get all of the tasks done with one hand and you complain to the ones who dont do anything because you guys did everything already . well . im saying im not like those too dependents but i really just hate it when you offer help and they dont accept they sometimes blame you for their fault already . wow . im getting lesser pains in my chest now . so another is for todaii . well i just learned that the 2 persons i love and respect in school [take note the only 2] are half day . well i was thinking kath wouldnt because she actually was quite happy with me during break and even took me out and dragged me to the cafeteria . well i feel like she will have a check up or something . i hope she's ok . and the other person i love and respect in school is max . well i was quite worried of him also . well he is really sick and i cant help but think of him like crazy . well it is vomiting . the thing i used to hate for one month . well i know his isnt anxiety . thats good . you really wouldnt like the feeling of having to look around you and feel the person you are waiting for isnt coming back . . . . . btw i got an anxiety attack when my dad first came back to the phils and he needed to go back to italy which caused a curse in my heart . so anyways if i were to write all the curses in my life it wouldnt fit in this very blog post . i just want my chest to open up a bit . its not healthy not having my blog around . i missed my blog well i feel a bit better . . . . . i guess at least . well its not like my old blogposts like august :[ i miss august :[

-- stop the tears from falling . need to find self actualization . stop faux pas . stop faux ami

fridaii the 13th x.x

wow . so happy fridaii the 13th . . . . on second thoughts . not really happy . im really dizzy and all that stuff . it is kind of really annoying . well from all of the commotion for today its really not lucky . haha . well to be honest i just wanted to put friday the thirteenth on my blog XD haha so anyways . speaking of friday the thirteenth . friday the thirteenth is a superstition that so many bad things will happen today . one example is those unluckiness of people . for me this is a superstition not to follow . well some people really do have bad luck and some even have accidents on these days and put their blame on such days . on my opinion it is not luck . it is their own stupidity [is it me or my exclamation point or is it just random ?] well i think and know they are stupid . well how dare they blame a date ! what losers . well is it just by chance that we dont have water running down our faucets the next 3 days due to the cleaning of the tank . so i guess i dont and wont care . but it is not very healthy . well how about school ? x.x well i will go to school tomorrow . x.x how about me ? x.x so anyways today is really not a bloggable day . its just i want to focus on superstitions . well i really dont like superstitious people . i think it is a faux pas . well . you keep on getting away from black cats . friday the 13th and all those stupid stuff . i just think it is really silly and all of that . argh i need to go . i have to clean myself up . we still do not have stupid net . i really hate globe . i guess unluckiness just happen to be here . no net . no water . i can live :] ill read noli me tangere :]

-- stop the tears from falling . need to find self actualization . stop faux pas . stop faux ami

annoyance

i loathe globe ! condemn them to hell ! (¬.¬) i so totally miss my comp :[ i really want to play ran :[ well my life is getting more and more miserable . well basically i dont know how to function without a computer . well basically . i really want to punch bon bryan pasuquin in the face. he really deserves it . well basically an idiot like him needs to have realization he is . well basically he is so totally a waste and he gets a laptop . well a person like him for me doesnt deserve anything . well its not my problem because of his laziness plus his stupidity got him to study at a public school . argh . and what will he do ? boast it to poor people ? and so ? some poor people are much more deserving than him really . well i am SUPER not wanting this laptop but the thing is that . i really hate his BiG MOUTH ! CANT HE JUST SHUT UP ! i like so dont care about stupid laptops . well basically i have a desktop and a laptop which will come soon [i just dont know when] but basically i dont care . but why does he boast at me ? like the hell i care . he doesnt even have a face that he can boast . well look at us tres marias unlike that ugly guy . maybe ugliness also have their positive thing . people pity them >:]] well im getting evil . . . . . . . . . well basically i am >:]]

ciao >;]

-- stop the tears from falling . need to find self actualization . stop faux pas

patapon

its time to blog . well I haven't been blogging for ages . look at how few my posts are last october and september compared to last august . :[ sorii . oh yeah . maybe because of the birthday stuff . I feel more and more pathetic . well basically I made a good habit and not follow it *idiot* I want to burry myself again . how many people are reading my blog anyways ? please comment on this post if you read my posts . couz at times I really feel like an idiot feeler . I dont know if people are even reading my posts . another faux pas . btw . my fave word in the world is faux pas :] its a French word meaning 'false step' or 'social blunder' well it means the disregard or wrong manners/etiquette :] I dont know why but I feel like I want to learn french :] its a very lovely language *i guess* well . moving on . PSP iS BROKEN TT.TT . no more patapon TT.TT well share . I feel like Bon doesn't deserve a psp go . well basically he doesn't even study . it might not look like it I'm smart . but laziness takes over . i can prove it ! make me talk about algebra . nature . genetics . human psychology . codes . rubiks cube . sudoku . and even spongebob I can give you a very favorable conversation and answers while if he reaches my level [third year] or even fourth year ! he can't answer you properly . this is only basing from his mind status at grade 5 . well basically he doesn't even know what 8x7's product is ! I really dont trust him . I picture his future as a assistant . or maybe a vulcanizing boy . well I'm basing from a third year's perspective with good human psychologic analization xDD well . basically if you talk to him all he talks about is facebook cheats . bike . and going out with MY uncle ! well whatever . i dont want to go and change him . he is very hard headded . and I guess I dont want to spent time with Tito anymore . well basically I dont want to change his mind also . why does he even think like that ? saying . I dont eat regularly and is therefore "evil" *joke* "disobedient" to my dear tita . gawdd ! I cried for that real hard . well . basically I was hoping real hard . that he ! of all the people in the world would understand me . he of all the people here . prior to the fact he is not with his only child and longing for him dearly . didnt he ever think a moment or so to fully understand my situation . of how I am so not used to living with other people . as respect I dont count them as strangers . I give full respect and all . but I am so not liking the way they they always talk about me like im nothing but a slut ..... wow a bad word on my post . but basically I feel like that . they judge me as if we dont live together and they say stuff as if I am 'evil' wow . they are like claming in a traditional view from tle our topic in conflicts in business management . what more can I do ? he doesn't even know he is my godfather and even disregarded it . I'm just a stupid person who needs to be fed and whom of which is hard headded and wouldnt do so . gawdd I feel like crying again . I feel miserable again . I hate this . well now I just can say possibilility I'll have another exclamation point . I feel more stupid . well nothing new . I already am . already was stupid .

-- stop the tears from falling . need to find self actualization . stop faux pas

lessons :]

[happy all saints daii ü]

wow i just came home from mandaluyong :] my old home :] i still consider it as a home . but i dont have a house there anymore XD so anyways . i noticed that i only come there if something is happening XD haha . i really miss living in that place . but i guess i dont know if i could . maybe in college or something . so anyways . at first i was really annoyed that i joined in the mass . well basically they made me join but they wouldnt even talk to me . and they even talk about me . so im really annoyed . so in order to let my annoyance put to good use . i carried iison from the 5th floor to the 2nd floor using the stairs :] haha . well i felt better after it . and what else could i do ? and so when we got back to where we were staying . i wasnt in the mood to eat again because of them . and so after they ate they lectured me again . well they said ulcer is a family sickness . and some of the elders really did die because of those reasons . well i cant help it . well the thing that really annoyed me today is they said to strangers [to me] that im afraid of gaining weight when im trying my very best to gain weight . after a few . tita just told me to go to sleep couz maybe she felt my crankiness . well i noticed just now i looked cranky XD so i slept until 4 . when i woke up my sister told tita she wants to go home already O.O like what ? O.O we havent even visited our sister yet . so anyways . we like walked towards the cemetery . like what ? i just woke up and now im walking . well whatever . its better than waiting long hours . so anyways . i like lighted up a candle for baby fatima and i like prayed and wished she take care of mama ü well after lighting the candle i saw a childhood friend looking at me . well basically he was my hero before XD haha . and i dont know why but my sister told me he was looking for me during my uncle's wake my sister told me he was looking for me O.O what ? O.O and he was drunk XD haha . manila teenagers tsktsk so anyways . he was looking . good thing we were only there for a brief period of time . and so we left . but before doing so . we met some unexpected people XD my cousin . from the father side . and a family friend whom also lives here in cavite . so anyways its just me and mikee . well its normal . so anyways . we got to buy ballpen because of the national bookstore we saw XD so after that we said we would buy food at chowking . well we really did . and after doing so i feel like singing my favorite song again X.X well i dont like their chowfan anymore . and the service is very slow . gawdd ill go back to tokyo tokyo . even if there isnt any in molino . oh yeah . tita told us to go online because mama told us to . well we waited for them really . but they got online when tita got home . so . lets go to that . well one of my exes [wow exes] added me in facebook . and i like posted on his wall . and i really had a good conversation with him :] well it is kind of nice to know that friendship is always there even if you once broke each others faces XD joke . so anyways . here is a list of

LESSON LEARNED :

★ dont join something/someone if you dont really feel like you are needed . they will only use you [sometimes]

★ its healthy to look and talk with people from the past . like childhood friends and exes . you dont realize that you miss them :]

★ the future possibilities of marga's death are : x.x

• breast cancer [haha funny just ask me personally why XDD]

• ulcer [family thing ?]

• anything that has to do with the digestive system XDD

• or maybe anl accident XDD im so prone to those things XDD

and so i end this blog again . im too tierd to tell 

plans

I feel hopeless . I just want to make up my mind and make plans for summer . I feel like I'm on a stand still . well plan on top of the rest . TO HAVE GOOD GRADES ! earth to marga . focus first before doing anything . well here is a list with the most probable things I would do :

• if not sec then sci math :] that would be nice :]

• learn a language . most probably self study really . maybe with friends :] they could make me focus

*italian or japanese or french :] are my probable choices :]

• learn a sport or dance . I need to be healthy :] well because I don't feel it

*vball or taekeondo or breakdance or ballet sounds interesting :]

• learn an instrument . I miss the pleasure of listening of the tones I can finally make

*piano or guitar or violin would make me happy :]


[making this blog post is just a way to make my tears go away . so just don't mind it really]